


Let The Flames Begin

by MrBendezedrine



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Band, F/M, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, M/M, Music, Musicians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-03-14 18:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 27
Words: 57,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13596261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrBendezedrine/pseuds/MrBendezedrine
Summary: I held the cigarette between my teeth, lighting it up with the lighter and took a drag, leaning my head back against the brick building. I played with the wheel of the lighter, watching it spark, and every now and then, briefly burn.It was a lot like life, about how it would spark and fade. There are those certain moments in life that flare up and spark. Those are the memories that you would remember for a lifetime, either good or bad. Sometimes they would grow into more, and burn. Some things burned brighter than others. But if you weren’t careful, the flames could burn you. They would eat you up, and swallow you whole.And I had already let the flames begin.





	1. Chapter 1

I hate everything.

Because that is the first thing you've ever heard me say or think, here's how you're going to picture me. You'll picture me as some lonely, somewhat depressed teenager that wears all black. Someone whose hair covers their face, along with their nerdy glasses. They're into underground music and has absolutely no friends.

Well, you're completely right.

I hate everything. I hate Belleville. I hate New Jersey. I hate my school. I hate my family. I hate myself. I hate everything. I hate having to move to a new crappy town no one has ever heard of in the middle of a state that was too cold. I hate having to start this all over again.

"Moikay!" My brother screamed and launched himself onto me, while I was sleeping. That's the one thing I didn't hate. Sleep. And music.

"Fuck off, Gerard," I mumbled as I rolled over to press my face into my pillow. I didn't want to get up.

"Mikey, you're going to school, whether you like it or not." He lectured. My too-gay-to-function brother acted like my mother sometimes. I hated him, not because he's gay, I have no problem with that, but because he's my brother, and my mother, and my father. My father died in a car accident on the way to meet my mother at the hospital as she was giving birth to me. Gerard was in the car, but he was barely a year old and doesn't remember a second of it. When I first heard the news, only a few years ago, I only blamed myself. If I hadn't been born, my Dad wouldn't be in his car, and he would still be alive. He would be the CEO of his own business, and my family would be wealthy. My mom wouldn't have to work the three jobs to support two kids as a single mother. She wouldn't have to take some crappy job in this crappy town. And Gerard would be an only child, and I'm sure he'd absolutely love that.

I've gotten over these thoughts, yet sometimes the guilt will still linger with me. Every now and then I'll have an off day, and I'll be blaming myself for everything, starting with the death of my father.

"Mikey, if you don't get up, I'm going to rip your Anthrax shirt-"

"Okay, okay!" I yelled, sitting up. "I'm up"

"Great. You have five minutes to get ready for school. Love ya!" He yelled as he slammed the door on the way out of our room.

\----------------------------

I walked up to the high school and immediately wanted to run back to the car. The trees were bare and it was so early that it was still dark, even though school had just started. The school was illuminated by the orange glow of the streetlights in the parking lot. This place was giving me the creeps, it looked like it was built a hundred years ago, and it probably was.

"Come  _on_  Mikey." Gerard pulled my arm as we trudged through the snow to get to the school. I shivered, wishing my leather jacket had given me a bit more warmth. We finally got inside the school and I tensed up even more.  _Please take me home. Maybe if I grabbed Gerard's keys out of his pocket and ran, I could hop in the car and drive as far away from this town as possible._

"Good morning, how may I help you?" The secretary asked as we walked in the office.

Gerard walked up to her with a smile plastered across his face, while I sulked behind him. "I'm Gerard Way, and this is my brother, Mikey. We're new here."

She nodded and smiled again.  _Why do people smile so much?_ "Of course just give me one second. She typed something onto her computer and turned in her office chair as the printer began to print. "Here are your schedules, and a map of the school. It's a pretty small school and you have five minutes between classes, you should make it on time. Everyone's friendly here, I'm sure you can ask someone if you get lost." She licked her finger and separated our papers.  _Gross._

"How do I read this?" I mumbled, looking at the map and schedule.

The overly-joyful secretary heard my mumbling. "The schedule is the same every day, it doesn't rotate or change or anything. Just look at the room numbers to see where you go. Lunch is after 3rd period for both of you. When you look at the map, the office should be in the bottom left corner. Now, it's about halfway through 1st period. You better get going, you're already late on your first day!"

She didn't have to tell me again before I bolted out of the office. "Hey Mikey!" Gerard called after me. "Let me see your schedule! We probably don't have any classes together, but who knows."

I handed him my schedule, being thankful to waste a bit more time.

"Hey, we have music together! But it's not until 5th period." He said.

I leaned over and looked at his schedule. "Wait, why do you get a free period last period?" I asked. That wasn't fair. Gerard was pretty much the dumbest person I knew, he had to re-take 7th grade math, so we were taking the same course, even though we weren't in the same class. But if anyone needed an extra class, it was him.

"Because I'm a senior." He stuck his tongue out at me. "Later, bro!"

He shoved my schedule back at me, and left me in the lobby to find my way around the school alone.

_Wonderful._

_\---------------_

I looked down at my schedule, making sure I was in the right place.  _English, room 109_. I looked back up at the wall next to the door, which had the same number next to it. I took a deep breath and walked into the class, despite the fact that I so desperately wanted to turn around. As much as I hated Belleville, that's the only place I wanted to be right now. It was the only place that was familiar. I hated change, and I hated this new town.

"Hello, you must be Michael Way." The teacher asked. He was a little on the older and wider side, and spoke with a thick southern accent. The lights of the classroom reflected off of his bald head.

"Just Mikey." I replied, nodding. A couple guys in the back snickered, and I just wanted to run away even more.  _I wonder what it would be like to just run away, and see if anyone noticed. Maybe Gerard would, but I doubt mom even would, as she worked all the time. I wonder if I could just run and run and never look back-_

"Well, Mikey, you can take a seat anywhere you like." He said. "We're just about to begin reading  _Romeo and Juliet_. Here's a copy." He handed me a book, and I went to sit in the front row. There were at least 20 desks in the class, but only about 14 were occupied. Talk about a small school.

When the teacher turned his head to write on the board, a ball of paper was thrown at my head. I reached down next to me to uncrumple it, and read the words written inside.  _Hey "Mikey", watch your back, faggot._  
  


_I wonder what it would be like to just run and run and never look back..._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gerard's appearance is Danger Days, Mikey is Three Cheers, just fyi.

 

**_*Kris's POV*_ **

Music is your own experience, your own thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn. They teach you there's a boundary line to music. But man, there's no boundary line to art.

That's the beauty of music, the possibilities are endless. With even just three notes, you can create thousands of different songs, with different emotions and feelings. That's why jazz music had to be the best genre of music, even without words, it's just so raw and beautiful. You can let your feelings bleed out into the music, and it's just so full of emotion. There's just nothing that can compare to it. There's nothing that compares to the way that the trumpets dance and sing, and the way that the saxophones-

"Marcello, are you even paying attention?" The teacher yelled, breaking me away from my trance. I snapped my head away from the window and to the teacher.

"What?" I asked. I had been doing the thing where you put an earbud up your sleeve, and hold your ear to your head, allowing you to listen to music when it looked like you were just resting your head on your hand.

"I've been calling your name repeatedly. We have a new student, Gerard Way. Gerard, you can go sit next to Kris, and maybe you can keep her on task. Now, can anyone tell me what Newton's three laws were?" I rolled my eyes as the professor turned to look at the other side of the classroom, which only held 12 students.

"Small school, huh?" The new kid said from next to me. I didn't even look at him, I just pulled out a sheet of paper.

 _Don't talk in this class, Dr. Heliot will murder you. And yea, where'd you move from?_ I passed the note to the kid beside me. As he read my almost illegible handwriting, I took a good look at him. He had fire engine colored hair that reached his chin. He was extremely pale and had gorgeous hazel eyes. He passed the note back to me.

_I moved from New Jersey. You seem cool. Why did you move here? There's like nothing to do in this town, and I've only been here for a weekend._

I skimmed over his handwriting, which was far more readable than mine.

_Wow, I can't believe you can actually read my handwriting. I've lived here all my life, so has my dad, and my mom moved here from Italy, so she could play in some symphony in a neighboring town. You're a junior, right?_

"Way! It's your first day here, stop checking out Kris! Now, what's the answer to number three?" The teacher asked, pointing at the board. He squinted.

"Uh, um, t-three?" He guessed.

Dr. Heliot glanced at the board. "Wow, great job Way." Gerard nodded his head, and the teacher continued talking, as he scribbled something down on the note.

_No, I'm a senior, but my brother's a junior. And I wasn't checking you out, I swear. I promise I wasn't checking you out. I swear._

I had to hold back a giggle as I read his note. He was kind of awkward, it was a bit cute.

_I believe you. And that was totally smooth. Wait, is your brother's name Mike or something? I think he was just in my English class._

He rolled his eyes when he read over my note, and then nodded.

_Yea, his name is Mikey. And seriously, if you want to know awkward, you should really meet him. By the way, are there lunch waves at this school? Which one do you have?_

Stupid New Jersey kids.

_There are no lunch waves here. The whole school eats at once. There are only like 400 kids here, we have a decently sized cafeteria._

The bell rang, signaling the end of this hellhole, also known as physics.

"What class do you have next?" I asked him, as I put my stuff in my bag.

"Uh, hold on a second." He fumbled around in his backpack, looking for his schedule. "I have pre-calc. How the hell do I get there? I was late to this class because I got lost."

I laughed. "This school is like, two floors, and it's basically a circle. How can you get lost? Anyway, do you have Mr. Alexander?" He nodded. "Great, I have him next. He's alright. Follow me."

\--------------------------

Gerard was interesting. He was definitely different than most kids here, which was a relief. Most of them were rich potheads with nothing better to do than sell drugs and pick on others. Well, I couldn't blame them, as that was pretty much the only thing to do in this town.

"So we have lunch now, you can meet my friends, Forrest and Cassey. They're cool, you'll love them. Cassey has blue hair. They're not in any of my classes-" I was cut off by a chorus of screaming as we turned the corner. I sighed, it was a typical fight that was seen almost every day. Well, it wasn't really a fight, since it was usually one-sided. I began to walk over.

"Woah, where are you going?" Gerard asked. "You're not gonna get involved, are you?"

I stopped talking to look at him. "Well, if I'm not going to stop them, then who will?" I folded my arms across my chest.

"Surely one of the teachers-"

"Other than the band teacher, the teachers don't give two shits about what happens at this school. Now, you can either follow me, or stay here. Your choice." I began walking over to the fight, and they followed.

"Hey!" I yelled, pushing through the crowd. I heard someone being thrown into the locker, and I yelled again. "Hey! Knock it off!" I yelled once I finally made it through the crowd. Gerard was behind me, but didn't say a word.

"What are you gonna do about it, Kris?" One of them spat. I wasn't surprised that they knew my name, everyone knew everyone at this school.

"What are  _you_  gonna do about it, Eddie? Are you really gonna hit a girl?" I folded my arms across my chest and put my weight on one leg, having one of my hips jut out. The late bell for lunch rang, and the crowd dispersed. He looked at me with disgust.

"You win this round, Marcello. But watch your back. And your little  _friend_  should watch his, too." He and his gang scurried off, leaving Gerard and me alone with the boy thrown into the locker. I sat down on the ground, next to where he had fallen.

"Are you okay?" I asked, even though I couldn't see his face. He groaned and turned his head to face us. Gerard gasped.

"Mikey?"

**_*Mikey's POV*_ **

"Hey, freak!" Someone yelled. I looked at the ground and quickened my pace. This had been going on all day, why where these kids picking on me? I mean, I was new, and I dressed in all black, and I had longish hair and glasses, and, okay, I see their point. In their eyes, I was an outcast.

I just had to make it to the cafeteria. I just had to get lost in the crowd, make it to the cafeteria, and find Gerard. Maybe he's already made friends, and I'll be safe.

"Hey, faggot, I'm talking to you!" Someone yelled and grabbed my backpack, yanking me back. Almost instantly, a group of kids who looked like seniors surrounded me. They smelled blatantly of smoke. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

I didn't respond, and I was pushed into a locker. "I asked you a question, answer me, goddamit!" Almost as quickly as the first punch was thrown at my face, a group of onlookers surrounded us. I groaned.  _Someone, help me. Please._  I mentally begged.

"Answer me!" I was pulled away from the locker and slammed back into it, repeatedly.

"I-I" I stuttered, not knowing what to say. What the hell could I possibly say that would help me in this situation? This was Belleville all over again. I would have no friends, and I would go the whole school year being miserably bullied.

"Aw, the little fag can't speak!" The guy next to the kid holding me to the locker spoke. I didn't say anything in response, and they laughed, probably at the expression on my face. He grabbed me by the throat and pushed me harder into the locker, while the third member of the 'gang' began to punch me repeatedly in the chest. I tried flailing my arms around, but it did absolutely nothing. The crowd just laughed at how pathetic I was.

_You're pathetic, Mikey. You deserve this, every second of it._

_No, shut up!_

"Hey!" Someone yelled from the crown.  _Thank God, please help me._  I was thrown to the ground, was kicked in the guts, the wind being knocked out of me. I could hardly breathe, and I could feel myself go into panic mode. Everything began to sound underwater, and tears clouded my vision. I clenched my eyes shut to stop them.  _I can't breathe, I'm going to die. I'm going to die on my first day of school. How pathetic._

The kicking finally faded away, as the attackers, as well as the crowd left. "Are you okay?" I heard a female voice from next to me. I opened my eyes and groaned, rolling over to face them. Before me sat a girl, whom I recognized from my English class. Her skin was extremely pale, almost as pale as Gerard's. Her almost black eyes stared right into mine, and they matched her almost black hair that cascaded in waved over her shoulders. And behind her was....  _Gerard?_

"Mikey?" He asked, and crouched next to me, grabbing my face in his hands. "Mikey, holy shit, are you okay?" I only groaned in response.

"We should take him to the nurse." The girl spoke. I groaned again, but this time I actually formed words.

"No, I-I'm fine," I mumbled, sitting up. I let my head fall back against the locker, and I groaned again.

"Are you sure? You don't look-"

"I'm fine, leave it." I snapped, and I instantly felt bad. "Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I-I'm fine, just sore." I lied. I was a whole lot more than sore, it felt as if my stomach were on fire.

"If you insist." She stood up and held out a hand to help me up. I gratefully accepted and stood up along with Gerard. "We should go to lunch-"

"Why did you do that?" I interrupted. Why the hell would some random, and not to mention  _hella cute_  girl help me?

She tilted her head to the side, confused by my question. "Do what?"

"Help me. Why didn't you just leave me there? I don't even know you-"

"Well, you do now." She interrupted. "And I helped you because, why not? No one else would have, I hate to break it to you, but everyone in this school is a crack head and picks on others for fun. It fucking sucks, man." My eyes widened in surprise at her choice in language. "Oh don't be surprised. Everyone thinks I'm some perfect child who gets straight A's and never does anything wrong. Well, that's true, but that doesn't mean I can't curse." She turned on her heel and walked towards what I presumed to be the lunchroom.  
  


"Oh, and I'm Kris, and I'm your new best friend."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kris's POV, unless otherwise stated.

"So, Mikey, Gerard, do you hate Blackmont yet?" Cassey said, breaking the silence between the five of us in the cafeteria.

I nudged Cassey in the side with my elbow. These two kids had only just moved here, and she was already complaining at the time.

"Eh." They both kind of shrugged. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh come on, it's not  _that_ bad," I said as Forrest shot me a look.

"Says you." He muttered under his breath.

Now it was my turn to shoot him a dirty look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

He scoffed. "Oh please, everyone loves you." He directed his attention to Mikey and Gerard. "This girl is popular, and she doesn't even know it. She has guys falling at her feet-"

"I do not!" I whined. "I've only had one boyfriend for a week-"

"Who dumped you because you wouldn't have sex with him." Cassey interrupted, as she rolled her eyes. "Yes, we all know. And there you two go, there's one reason to hate this town even more."

I glanced at the two of them. They sat on the opposite side of the table as us, while I sat between Cassey and Forrest. They both looked extremely uncomfortable as they picked at their lunch...

"So, Mikey, I don't know much about you. I met your brother, but haven't talked to you."

He just looked at me. He seemed distant and didn't respond until his brother had nudged him in the side. He cleared his throat. "What do you want to know?"

"I don't know, why you moved here, what do you like to do, whatever?"  _Or maybe even why you are so adorable?_

"Uh, Gerard and I moved here because our mom got a new job here. I don't do much except sit in my room and listen to music or play bass-"

"You play bass?" Forrest and I shouted at him.

He leaned back a little bit, surprised by our outburst and the shift of mood in the conversation. "Uh, yea, why?"

Forrest and I looked at each other and grinned. "Can you read sheet music?" I asked.

"Of course." He raised an eyebrow. "What are you two getting at?"

Forrest spoke this time. "Well, Kris and I are in the jazz band, she plays saxophone and I play drums. Our bass player was caught doing drugs, and after he came back from suspension, the school forced him to quit extra-curricular activities. So we really need a bass player now."

"Uh, I'm not really into jazz that much, I'm not sure-" He trailed off.

"Oh, please, you don't have to be a jazz freak like I am to be in jazz band. We also have this competition in a month and a half at six flags in New Jersey, it's so much fun. We place every year. Plus, even though it's after school, there's also a band class, and we don't always play jazz music there. It's so much better than music class. Trust me."

"What's so bad about music class?" Gerard asked, and Cassey, Forrest, and I snickered.

"It's general music. You have a shitty teacher and learn about the history of music and shit." Cassey said. Just then, the bell rang.

I turned to Gerard and Mikey. "So, what classes do you guys have now?"

"I have music, world history, and then a free," Gerard said, reading his schedule before glancing at Mikey's. "He has music with me and then ancient history and pre-calc."

"Oh, well I have band and then US history and Spanish. Mikey, I'll let the band teacher know you're considering joining. Will you think about it?"

He was looking at his feet and shifting his weight. "Uh, sure."

"Great! The first after school rehearsal is tomorrow, it's Tuesdays and Thursdays. I'll see you guys tomorrow!" I smiled and bounced off to band with Forrest.

"So, who is it?" He asked as we made our way to the auditorium.

I looked at him for a second. "What do you mean?" I threw my bag in a chair and began to take out my saxophone.

"Which one do you have a crush on? The redhead or the awkward one?"

I hit his arm with my folder as I grabbed a new reed. "They have names, you know!"

"Fine. Gerard or Mikey?" he dragged out the vowels and spoke in a high pitched voice.

"Neither! God, leave me alone!" I yelled and tightened my ligature.

"Oh, you so do. Don't hide it, I'll figure it out eventually."

\-------------------------

"Hey, Mikey!" I called as I walked into my English class, where he was sitting alone. I dumped my stuff in the seat next to him. "What's up?"

He shrugged.

"Not a morning, person, I see?" I asked.

"Not at all." He groaned and put his head on the desk. "Why are you always so hyper?"

I shrugged, imitating his actions. He rolled his eyes and buried his face in my arms.

"Mr. Way! I know it's only your second day here, but I would appreciate it if you didn't sleep through my class!" The teacher, Mr. Gates, yelled, and everyone snickered. Mikey sat up and had a sad look on his face. I looked at him with sympathy. When the teacher turned to the board and began writing, I turned to Mikey.

"Sorry, he doesn't really notice what goes on in this class," I whispered.

"Whatever." He said. Before I could respond, a flying crumpled piece of paper hit his head.

_Hey, faggot, suck a dick yet?_

"Hey!" I yelled and turned around to glare at whoever threw it. "Who fucking threw it?"

Everyone went silent at my language. Except for Mr. Gates, of course, who was oblivious to what was going on. All of the guys had a scared look on their face. I was usually the happy, hyper, goody-two-shoes kid, and they didn't expect me to drop the f-bomb so loudly in the middle of class.

When no one responded, I spoke up again. "Well, whoever did is a coward. So you can kindly fuck off and leave Mikey alone." I turned back around to face the front of the room, and the room was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. The girl next to me had her jaw dropped.

"Did you just curse twice?" She whispered. I nodded and she turned to her friend and began gossiping. Great, now the whole school would know and ruin my reputation. I turned to Mikey who had a slight smirk on his face.

"You didn't have to do that you know." He said, taking out his book as Mr. Gates had said so. I just shrugged. "I honestly didn't expect that."

"No one really did. Did you see their faces? It was priceless." I giggled and his normal poker face was still replaced with a smirk. "So did you consider band?"

"Yeah, my bass is in Gerard's car." He said and I squealed.

"Yes, oh my God, you're awesome! What class do you have next?" I asked.

"Um, Spanish." He had to think for a second before letting me know.

"Great, the teacher doesn't care about anything. You can go at the beginning of next class to go switch from music to band. They'll give you a pass if you're late. Do you need help finding it or do you want to go by yourself?"

He hesitated for a second. "Nah, I'm good, I'll go by myself. But can you go with me at lunch to get my bass f-from Gerard's c-car?" He stuttered.

I nodded. "Yeah, sure. And from now on you can just drop your bass off in the closet in the auditorium before school, and pick it up when your bus is called, or after jazz band if you have it that day."

He nodded and returned to his work.

I didn't know much about Mikey, but I was determined to do so. He had walls built up around him, and all I wanted to do was break them down.

\-----------------------------------------------

"So today we're just reviewing what we did yesterday. I know none of you are really going to do it, but you can goof off, but just remember you'll fail your test tomorrow if you do. Have fun." Our pre-calc teacher, Mrs. Loven, said. She was a chill teacher, one of the few teachers I actually liked at this school.

"I'm absolute shit at math, so you have to teach me this," Gerard said and faced me.

"I would rather spend this hour talking instead though," I complained.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "But then I'll fail my test and my mom will kill me!"

I rolled my eyes. "You can come over to my house after school if you want-"

"Really? Your parents wouldn't mind?" He asked, and I shook my head. "Oh my god, I have a friend!" I laughed.

"I'm just staying after school with Mikey, so my parents can give him a ride to my house after, and you can just drive over. Here, give me your number so I can text you my address and when to come over." I handed him my phone as he gave me his, and we exchanged numbers.

"So," I started. "See any cute girls you like?" I nudged him with my elbow, and his eyes went wide.

"What? Why, what, no-"

"Oh come on, you don't like anyone? Not even Cassey?" He shook his head rapidly. "No- I, I'm gay." He blurted out and looked around to make sure no one heard him. "Well, I'm bi, but I lean more towards guys."

I nodded my head. "Oh."

"Yeah, just, don't tell anyone, please. People at my old school really didn't accept me for it. Also, I wouldn't like Cassey in that way, you know how she likes Forrest-"

"Wait, no she doesn't...?" I trailed off.

"Oh come on, I saw the way that the two of them were looking at each other during lunch yesterday. I actually thought they were dating." He scoffed. "It was gross."

My hand flew up to my mouth. "Oh my God they do like each other!" I squealed. "I've been best friends with Cassey for eight years and with Forrest for four, how did I not realize this?"

He laughed. "I really don't know. It's very obvious. Mikey noticed it too."

I rolled my eyes and we continued to gossip for the rest of the period until the bell rang.

"I have to go find Mikey and get his bass from your car, can you find the cafeteria alright?" I asked him and he nodded. He dug into his pocket and tossed me his keys.

"Here, you'll need these. See you at lunch." He waved and I ran off to find Mikey.


	4. Chapter 4

**Dedication to itsmadyagain. Thanks so much for voting, commenting, and supporting this story!** **Forrest is on the side. he's played by Sam Claflin, who was Finnick in Catching Fire and Mockingjay.**

“Are you sure you don’t need help?” I asked Mikey as I closed Gerard’s trunk. He had his bag with his bass in it slung over his shoulder, and he was holding his amp with both hands.

He shook his head. “I told you, I’m fine.” He muttered, like he as mad at me.

I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I stayed silent, stuffing my hands in my pocket and staring at my feet as we walked back into the school. I held the door open for him, and we were both grateful once we stepped inside when a blast of heat warmed my face. Winter was never fun in upstate New York.

“Here, I’ll show you to the auditorium. You can put your bass in the closet there and then we can go to lunch.”  He only responded with a nod. I pulled my lips into a straight line and continued walking through the silent halls. I was always one to talk a lot, but Mikey seemed to be the polar opposite. He was quiet, shy, and awkward. I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I meant it in the complete opposite. He was adorable, and you could even say he was adorkable.

“Well, here we are.” I opened the door to the closet at the top of the auditorium stairs. “You’ll have band next period with me. You can just throw your stuff in a chair, get out your instrument and get on stage and warm up and tune. I’ll be sure to grab an extra stand and chair for you backstage.”

“Sounds cool.” He actually responded to me! “Yeah, yes I did.”

I could feel my face getting redder. “I said that out loud didn’t I?” He just simply nodded. “Ah, sorry if I made you feel awkward. I just like to talk a lot and-“

“Y-Yeah, I know.” He cut me off. “It’s not a bad thing, don’t worry. By the way, does Gerard know I’m s-staying after?”

“Oh yeah, my mom can also give you a ride home. And Gerard is coming to my house later to study for pre-calc, do you wanna stay? We can play music and I’ll help you with any pieces you need.” I offered.

He bit his lip until he responded a few moments later. “Are you sure? I don’t wanna intrude or get in the way-“

“No, of course not! It’ll be fun! Don’t worry about intruding, my mom lets anyone come over whenever. She’s like, an OCD freak, so the house is always clean. And Gerard will be able to drive you home.”

He nodded and walked over to our lunch table and sat across from my usual seat. Forrest nudged my arm.

“So, it’s him?” He wiggled his eyebrows, as I playfully smacked his arm.

“No!” I whisper-shouted at him, making sure neither Gerard nor Mikey could hear me. “It’s not him, it’s neither of them! They’re just friends and I only met them yesterday!”

He smirked and picked up his sandwich before taking a bite. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

I rolled my eyes and pulled out my lunch. “Just don’t talk while you’re eating. Please, it’s gross.”

Mikey chimed in, “Right? It’s disgusting. Gerard does it all the time, it’s probably my biggest pet peeve.”

As if on cue, Gerard paused his conversation with Cassidy and turned to us, with his mouth full. “I heard my name?”

I laughed, but the sound was muted by the bell.

\------------------------------------------------

“I was absolutely awful,” Mikey said while we were putting our instruments away after jazz band.

“What?’ I asked. He had been really good during concert band, he played all the rhythms right with a few note errors, but hey, it was his first time seeing the music! The same thing happened in jazz band. “You were really good for sight reading-“

“I wasn’t good enough.” He muttered as he shoved the cords for his amp in his guitar bag. “I was alright in concert band, but awful in jazz-“

“Shut up!” I yelled, but not in an angry tone. “You were  _sight reading_ Mikey! No one expected you to be perfect! No one thought you were going to be that good, either.”

He sighed. “Yeah but-“

Forrest came by and cut him off. “You were amazing Mikey. You did better today than our old bassist  _ever_  was. Great job man.” He smiled and winked at me before running off. Mikey just sighed and muttered a ‘whatever’.

I sighed as well and grabbed my saxophone. “C’mon, my mom’s outside waiting.” He nodded and followed me. “She’s in the silver Mercedes. C’mon, put your stuff in the trunk.” He nodded (for the billionth time today) and put his bass and backpack beside mine and my saxophone in the trunk. I climbed into the backseat, and he did the same.

“Hey, mom!” I said as I put on my seatbelt and she started the car. I pulled out my phone and quickly texted Gerard.

**_To: Gerard_ **

_Hey, just left school. My address is 25 Riverside Drive_

“Hey, honey! This is, Mike?”

Mikey bit his lip. “Mikey. Nice to meet you, Mrs-“

“Oh, don’t call me that, it makes me feel old.” She chuckled. “Please, call me Gina.”

 “Nice to meet you, Gina.” He said before looking out the window.

My mom smiled and tried to spark up a conversation, despite how little Mikey talked. “So, when did you guys move here?”

Mikey gave me a look and sighed. “My brother Gerard and I moved here a week ago from Belleville, New Jersey. My mom got a new job here.”

My mom nodded and started rambling on about how nice New Jersey was, and I turned to him and gave him an apologetic smile. The rest of the car ride consisted of my mom rambling as she always does, with the occasional question directed towards either Mikey or me. When we pulled up to our house, Mikey’s eyes went wide. Once we stepped out of the car and were out of earshot of my mom, he said. “Holy shit, your house is fucking huge!”

I sighed and grabbed my stuff from the trunk. “I know, my mom is a lawyer and my dad is a doctor. I don’t like it, it’s too big for the three of us and it’s really empty. Personally, I would like a small one-story house on the other side of town better.”

“Are we even still in Blackmont? I’ve never been on this side of town.” He said, grabbing his stuff and letting me close the trunk.

“Yeah, but it’s boring. You can’t walk anywhere, and you have to drive to minutes before you even see something other than a house or a tree. It’s awful. It’s really pretty at night though, there’s a ton of stars.” We walked inside and I hung up my coat.

“Sorry about my mom, she talks a lot. It’s where I get it from. And you can hang up your jacket and leave your shoes here. The rest of your stuff you can bring upstairs to my room.” I had to snap him out of his thoughts as he gawked at the high ceilings and chandeliers and the white furniture and rugs and everything else.

He finally paid attention when the doorbell rang. I opened it to reveal Gerard who was also gawking at my house. I rolled my eyes and repeated what I just said to Mikey.

“Hey mom, we’re going to my room!” I yelled into the house, hoping she’d hear me wherever she was. I began to walk up the spiral staircase, with Gerard and Mikey following close behind. We reached the third floor and I showed them to my room.

“Welcome to my woman cave,” I said as I opened the door and gestured to my room.

“Wow, straight out of tumblr,” Gerard muttered and I cracked a smile.

“Pretty much. Put your stuff wherever, I don’t care.” I closed the door behind me and flopped on my bed. “So what are we doing first, playing music or studying for pre-calc?”

“We’re obviously listening to your CD collection first!” Gerard yelled and ran over to my stack of 100 something CDs. He scanned them with a confused look on his face. “What the fuck is this?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I sat up.

He scoffed. “I mean, what is this?”

I shrugged. “It’s music. Jazz in particular.”

Mikey spoke up. “Wait, you  _only_  listen to Jazz music?”

“Yeah, and?”

Mikey and his brother shared a concerned look. “No Queen? Misfits? Iron Maiden?” Gerard asked.

“Anthrax?” Mikey suggested. I shook my head.

“I haven’t heard of any of those but Queen, and I haven’t actually  _heard_  them, I’ve just heard  _of_ them.”

Mikey placed a hand over his heart. “I think I just died a little inside.”

I rolled my eyes and Gerard wiped away a fake tear. “You just shattered my heart.” I rolled my eyes again. “Jesus Christ, woman, stop rolling your eyes!”

Just to annoy him, I rolled my eyes again. “Since you two just insulted my music, we’re studying for pre-calc first.” They groaned. “Sorry, not sorry.” I stuck out my tongue and dug into my backpack for my math binder.

\-----------------------------------------

“Thank  _God_ that’s over.” Gerard groaned as we put away our stuff for math.

“I know, math is just…” I trailed off.

“A bitch?” Gerard suggested.

I glared at him. “You know I don’t like saying stuff like that.”

Mikey butted in the conversation. “Except today in English, she said fuck,  _twice!_ ”

I ignored him and reached for my saxophone. “Can we just play already?”

Mikey nodded. “I understand the music except for Chameleon.”

“That is my jam. It looks complicated but it’s easy once you get the hang of it.” Once we had set up and he had plugged in his bass, I grabbed a stand for him, as I already memorized my music. “Let’s just play from the beginning and see where we need to work.” We managed to make it through the majority of the piece before messing up.

“Um, okay, well you definitely have the beginning down.” I started. “Let’s do measures 13-27.” And that’s how we spent the next hour, in addition to Gerard’s constant complaining and just being annoying in general.

\----------------------------------------

Mikey and Gerard had left about a half an hour ago, and I was currently eating dinner with my mom, as my dad had to work later at the hospital today. We were currently eating in silence, until she finally spoke.

“I don’t like them.” She said.

I quickly swallowed my salad before I chocked. “What?”

“I said,” She began, picking at her salad. “I don’t like them. They’re a bad influence.”

I set down my fork. “How would you know? You hardly talked to Mikey and you didn’t even speak to-“

“Kris.” She firmly stated. “Don’t talk to your mother like that. And I don’t like them. That Mikey kid is really quiet. Quiet people keep secrets, my dear, they’re dangerous. And did you see what he was wearing? All black, really? Is he goth? And the way he wears his hair is gross. And what about his brother, did you see his hair? What mother would let their son dye it like that?”

“Mom!” I had been trying to talk to her but she kept rambling. “They’re both extremely nice!”

“I heard Mikey saying you dropped the f bomb  _twice_  in English class today. Did you ever do that before you met these boys? No.”

“Mom, I’ve known them for  _two_ days! If they were an influence, it wouldn’t be affecting me this quickly.”

“Life moves pretty fast, if you don’t-“

“Stop and look around every once in a while, you might miss it.” I finished for her. “Yeah, yeah, don’t ruin that movie for me.”

“But did you see his hair?” She began. “It was so  _red._ ”

“Cassey’s mom let her dye her hair like that, and you never comment on it!”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, but she’s a  _girl._  And I’ve known her mom since we were kids, she’s a very rational person. Besides, it’s a nice blue, not like a fire truck! And where were these boys’ mother? Did she even know they were here? And Cassey is a  _girl-“_

“You already said that, mom.”

“Do not interrupt me!” She yelled. “You never yelled at me before you met these boys-“

“Mom, I’ve always-“

“And now you’re interrupting me, too!” She threw her hands in the air. “And as I was saying before, Cassey is a  _girl-_ “

“Three times now.”

“-and girls can get away with dying their hair like that. It looked  _awful_ on him-“

“That’s it, I’m going to my room now.” I stood up and grabbed my now empty salad bowl, and my plate that had once held salmon, and threw them in the sink.

“Wait until your father hears about this!” She called after me. “I’m sure he wouldn’t like this either!”

As I ran towards the stairs, I made sure to flip her off from behind me back, and she gasped.

“Kris Dina Marcello, you get back here right now! If you run up those stairs, you will not hear the end of this! And from now on, they’re not allowed over here, they’re a bad influence! And you’re not allowed over there either”

I paused halfway up to the second story and leaned over the banister. “Fuck you!” I screamed as loud as I could.

She gasped even louder and began making her way up the stairs, just as my father came home. “Kris! Kris, I swear to God if you don’t come down here right this second-“

I just laughed and locked myself in my room.

 


	5. Chapter 5

"Wait, why did you get grounded again?" Forrest yelled at me during lunch.

"Uh, well," I began. "I gave my mom the finger, and-"

"What?" Cassey nearly jumped out of her seat, but Forrest shushed her.

"Shut up, she said and! There's more!" He leaned on the table and put his head on his fist. "Do tell."

I rolled my eyes. "And I said, uh,  _f you_ , but I actually said the word-"

"Kris!" Gerard yelled at me. "You did what?"

Cassey had put a hand over her chest in shock. "I can't believe you said that to your mom!" She patted me on the back. "My baby is growing up so fast!"

I buried my head in my hands on the table. "Shut up." I murmured, feeling my face get hot.

"She also said fuck twice in English yesterday, and she almost did it again today," Mikey said.

"So the rumors are true?" Cassey asked and I nodded. "Damn girl, you'll be wearing all black and leather and getting tattoos before you know it."

I groaned as the bell rang. "I hate all of you."

\---------------------------------------

I hated 6th period. I had Spanish, which was one of my worst subjects. To make it even worse, I was alone. I had absolutely no classes with Cassey, and I only had band with Forrest. Mikey was in my band and English class, and Gerard was in me pre-calc and physics, so the rest of the day was pretty entertaining for me. But during the last hour of the day, I was absolutely miserable.

I pulled my phone out of my boot and texted Gerard under the desk.

**_To: Sass Queen_ **

_I'm in Spanish alone. Help. (Btw, nice name you've changed your contact to)_

I got a reply almost instantly.

**_From: Sass Queen_ **

_If it says sass queen then it was Mikey, I swear to God I'll kill him. I have a free, meet me in the band closet._

I waited until the teacher called on me. "Can I go to the office, I need-"

"En español, por favor." The teacher said.

"¿Puedo ir al oficina?" I sighed. "Necesito llamar mi madre." She nodded and wrote me a pass.

As I walked into the auditorium, Gerard reached out a hand and pulled me inside.

"Jesus Christ!" I yelled as he shut the door. "You scared me!"

He shrugged. "Oh well. You're lucky I saved you, I could have left you alone in Spanish."

I rolled my eyes. "You wouldn't do that," I said. "You know how it feels to be alone in a class since we left you in music."

He avoided my eyes. "You're not alone!" I nearly yelled. "You like someone in there! Who is she? Or he?"

He placed his hands on my shoulders to keep me from jumping up and down. "Shh, you can't tell anyone, okay? Please?" I nodded. He sighed. "I have a tiny crush on him, he's really really nice, even though I've known him for only a few days. He's so cute and short and he has this little scorpion tattoo on his neck and-"

I was nearly squealing at this point. "It's Frank, isn't it?" He nodded and his cheeks turned the color of his hair. "Aw, you two would be so cute. I heard a rumor last year that he's gay-"

"Really?" His face lit up.

"Yeah, I don't know if it's true or not. I've never talked to him, but he seems like a really nice guy."

He smiled. "He really is." He looked at his feet for a few moments before looking back up. "So, what's my contact name?"

"Sass queen. It's pretty accurate."

"Hey! No, it's not!" He said and I raised an eyebrow. "Okay, maybe a little. But I'm gonna kill Mikey-"

"No!" I whined. "Don't kill Mikey, he's too cute!"

"I knew it!" He yelled. "You like Mikey!"

But did I? I had only known him for a few days, can you really like someone in less than a week? Was that even possible? I mean sure, he was cute, and adorable, and he was really smart and innocent and shy and-

"Kris!" Gerard yelled, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"I'm sorry. I was just thinking. I don't know if I like Mikey or not, okay?" I sighed, and Gerard gave me an expecting look. "I mean, can you really like someone in three days? Is that even possible?"

Gerard placed a hand on my shoulder. "Listen to your heart, not your head."

\---------------------------------------------------------------------

**_From: Cassey_ **

_Hey, having a New Year's Party later today with Forrest, wanna come? You can come over whenever and help set up. You can also sleep over. And do you have Gerard and Mikey's numbers? I wanna invite them._

It was a Saturday night, on New Year's Eve. It was only 2 in the afternoon, and I hadn't rolled out of bed yet. I groaned, realizing I would have to go downstairs and talk to my mom.

"Hey, mom?" I asked once I stepped into the living room. She looked up from her newspaper and glared at me. "Cassey wants me to go over to her house and sleepover because it's New Years."

"And?" She asked. I was about to roll my eyes, but refrained from doing so, because it wouldn't help me out.

"Am I really still grounded? That was over 3 weeks ago. Plus, it's Cassey. She lives next door, and it's  _Cassey_."

She sighed. "Fine. But you have to be home by 10 tomorrow."

I squealed and ran over to hug her. "Thanks, mom! Thank you thank you thank you!" I ran back to my room and threw some clothes in an overnight bag.

**_To: Cassey_ **

_I'm coming over now. Here's Gerard's number: (555) 420-2384. I don't have Mikey's_

**_From: Cassey_ **

_Don't have your boyfriend's number? Shame on you. I'll call them, and Forrest is on his way here._

\------------------------------------------

"Don't have your boyfriend's number?" I mimicked once Cassey, Forrest and I had settled in her basement.

"C'mon, we know you like him," Forrest said, and I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, maybe a little, but-"

Cassey squealed and hugged me. "Oh my god, I knew it! You two would make the cutest babies-"

"Shut up!" I yelled. "And I don't like him  _that_  much, it's just a stupid little crush. And I haven't seen him in a week, I'm sure I'm over it." I was trying to convince myself more than I was them.

Forrest scoffed. "Oh please. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Besides, when did you realize you liked him? Over break?" I stayed silent. "Exactly."

"So, how do you plan to seduce him?" Cassey said and I choked on my water.

"I am  _not_ going to try to seduce him! He's just a friend who I happen to have a small crush on!" I defended.

Forrest and Cassey shared a glance before she spoke again. "A little closer than  _just friends._  You do realize he hardly talks, but when he does, it's to you?"

"Yeah but I'm one of his closest friends-"

"And the two of you talk whenever you can?"

"Yeah, again we're really close friends-"

"And the two of you have skipped classes just to be with each other?"

"Yeah but-"

It was now Forrest's turn to choke on his drink. "You're skipping classes now?" He yelled. "Damn, you're heels over head for this boy."

I was about to defend myself again when Cassey's mom yelled down the stairs that Mikey and Gerard were here, and that they were coming downstairs.

"Are they sleeping over?" I asked Cassey before they came downstairs. She returned with a nod. "You gonna make out with Forrest at midnight?" I made sure to lower my voice so Forrest couldn't hear.

Her face immediately went red. "I don't like him!" She screamed and slapped my arm as Gerard and Mikey came down the stairs, and I went over to wrap them both in a hug.

"Hey guys! Happy New Year!" They both squirmed to get out of the hug, and I let go. "Sorry, I forgot you guys don't like hugs." 

Mikey whispered something under his breath, but I couldn't make out what he said, and Gerard smirked at him.

"Happy New Year, Kris! We brought some chips and dip." Gerard said with a smile. Cassey made her way over and thanked Gerard before bringing it over to the coffee table.

"You guys can put your stuff wherever, we're just sitting on the couches and gossiping." She said. I sat between Mikey and Gerard on one couch, and Forrest and Cassey sat on the other.

"Ooh, gossip. Do tell!" Gerard exclaimed, resting his elbows on his knees and holding his cheeks in his hands.

"Well, we were saying-"

"No!" I interrupted her. We had one of our infamous silent conversations, where I was pretty much blackmailing her. If she said anything about Mikey, I would start talking about her and Forrest.

"Are they okay?" Mikey asked after we had been giving each other the death stare for a solid couple of minutes.

Forrest laughed. "Yeah, they're having a silent conversation. I swear, they were born as Siamese twins and then split, or something."

"Anyway." I broke off my glare with Cassey. "How were your Christmases? If that's even a word."

"Mikey and I got a few more CDs, and we got a record player and a couple of records. We also got a laptop that we share." Gerard said.

"Sharing the laptop is awful." Mikey said, "One day I'm going to open it and find Gerard's gay porn."

"I don't watch porn!" Gerard exclaimed and we all laughed. "I don't, I swear."

Mikey smirked. "Sure. Sharing the record player isn't fun either."

"At least you don't share it with Kris, who only ever listens to Jazz. She keeps trying to make us listen to it and it's so _boring._ " Cassey rolled her eyes.

Mikey and Gerard started rummaging through their stuff until they pulled out three CDs. "Here, we burned some CDs for you so you can listen to  _real_ music." Gerard handed them to me.

"I do listen to real-"

"No, you don't." Mikey interrupted. "The First one is  _Spreading The Disease_  by Anthrax,"

"I don't like the sound of this," I muttered, cutting him off.

"Shut up, this stuff is golden." He said. "That one's from me. The next one is  _Static Age_ by Misfits, that's from Gerard. The last one is from both of us, it's  _A Night at the Opera_ by Queen."

I nodded and read the tracks on the album. They didn't seem amazing, but I would probably end up listening to them just so I could say that I listened to "real" music.

"Start with Queen first, you'd probably like that the best," Gerard said. "I would say to listen to Misfits after that, but Mikey would say Anthrax. You decide."

"Thanks, you guys. Now I wish I got you something-"

"Don't worry about it." Mikey smiled. "We're doing you a huge favor."

"So, let's gossip," Forrest said.

"Can we not?" I groaned and leaned back on the couch. "It's just going to be about who likes who and someone here is going to say something about someone else and we're all going to argue and whatever."

Everyone rolled their eyes but Mikey. "Seriously, I'm not one for gossip either." He said.

"Sometimes I don't even think he's my brother," Gerard said and went to the other couch, and I scooted to where he was sitting. I turned to face Mikey and pulled my legs on to the couch, so that I was sitting the way Kindergarten teachers would describe as "crisscross applesauce".

"So what's up in the world of Mikey Way?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Nothing really."

"C'mon, you've been home from school for a week! Did you just do nothing all break?" I asked.

"Other than eating and sleeping, no." He smirked. "Don't say you haven't done the same."

I rolled my eyes. "Only because I was grounded. I was ungrounded today. My mom had also originally said you guys were never allowed over because you're a 'bad influence'". I made sure do make air quotes around 'bad influence'. "But my dad had talked some sense into her so you're allowed to come over whenever."

He gave me a quizzical look. "Why did she think we were a bad influence?"

"My mom is  _so_ judgmental." I scoffed. "She's really not better than most people at school. It was mostly the black clothes and Gerard's hair. Don't change though- God no, you guys are totally fine the way you are."  _You're perfect,_ I almost said.

He gave me a small smirk that made my stomach do a mini flip. I wasn't on my period or anything, what the hell was happening? "The music probably won't help either."

I returned his small smile and waved my hand. "Pff. To hell with what she thinks. She's into One Direction and Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus and all that crap, she wouldn't know music if it hit her in the face."

He laughed. "Well, if you don't like our music, at least I can die happily knowing that you don't listen to the crap on the radio."

\--------------------------------------

5 hours later, we were in the final minute before the New Year. Thank God Forrest didn't bring alcohol, or else I probably would've attempted to make out with Mikey at midnight. That would  _not_ have ended well, seeing as the guy really didn't even like hugs.

The five of us were standing in front of the TV with your typical New Year's getup, party hats, 2015 glasses, and those party horn things that you bow into and they make the noise and uncoil.

"30!.......29!......28!...." We started chanting as we were watching the ball getting ready to drop.

"I'm so glad 2014 is almost over," Mikey said from next to me and sighed.

"Why?" I asked.

"20!......19!......18!....."

He looked at the ground. "I'll tell you eventually. Just not now."

"15!.....14!.....13!....."

"Well, it's a New Year, anything can happen, right?" I put a hand on his shoulder.

"10!......9!.....8!...."

"Yeah, you're right." He said, and we joined in on the rest of the chanting.

"5!... 4!.... 3!.....2!.....1!..... Happy New year!" We all screamed and blew into the party horns. I looked to my right and everyone else was yelling and screaming and jumping and giving each other hugs, while Mikey was silent on my left, and looked like he was terrified someone was going to hug him.

I turned to face him and held up a hand. "Happy New Year, Mikey." I smiled.

He smiled and high fived me, and I swear, his smile could make me go weak at the knees, especially now, when it almost reached his eyes. Key word,  _almost_. I promised myself that my New Year's resolution would be to make this guy smile, for real. "Happy New Year."


	6. Chapter 6

I nearly fell out of my chair at lunch when Gerard had shoved my side. I  _had_  almost fallen asleep, with my head buried in my arms, which rested on the lunch table. It was 2 days after New Year’s, and the stupid school decided to have school, even though no one had gotten any sleep the past few nights. I removed my earbuds and glared at him.

“What’s your problem?” I snapped. “I was about to fall asleep!”

He rolled his eyes. “We’ve been trying to get your attention for the past five minutes.” The bell rang, interrupting him. “I swear to God, this damn bell interrupts everything we do! Anyway, Mikey and I are going to Hot Topic tomorrow after school, do you want to come? Talk to Mikey about it in band, I have to go!” He ran off and I was left with Mikey and Forrest.

“What’s a Hot Topic?” I asked as we walked to the auditorium, and Mikey nearly stopped in his tracks.

“It’s only the best store ever!” He exclaimed, and Forrest laughed beside me.

“It’s that goth store that we always walk past in the mall in Woodlake.” He said.

“It’s not goth!” Mikey protested. ‘It’s, well, I don’t know how to describe it, but it’s definitely not goth!”

I laughed and grabbed my saxophone out of the band closet, while Forrest ran to the stage to bang on the drums before the other drummer got here. “I’d love to go, Mikey. My parents are both on a business trip for my mom, so I don’t need to ask or anything. And I’m sure it’s not goth. Oh. And can I have your number? I have Gerard’s, but not yours.”

He fished around in his backpack for his phone. “Uh, okay, here you c-can put your phone in here, well, your number. I-I’ll put mine in yours.”

“If you know what I mean,” I muttered and winked. His face went red and he facepalmed himself.

“Seriously, your mom may be right. Gerard’s probably corrupted your mind with his gay sex jokes.” He groaned.

“Yep.” I laughed. “They’re oddly funny. And my mom really didn’t enjoy the CDs I was playing out loud. Well, she didn’t mind Queen, and I really liked that one. That was probably my favorite one. Bohemian Rhapsody is like, gah! Why didn’t I listen to it before?”

He laughed and handed me my phone after he put his number in it. “You tell me. And which album did you like better, the Misfits one or the Anthrax one?”

“The Anthrax one,” I said, and he did a small fist pump that made me giggle.

“Yes! I  _so_ told Gerard that you’d like them better!” He smiled a bit, and it  _almost_ reached his eyes.

“Mikey, can I ask you something?” I questioned.

“Yeah-“

“Hurry up and get your asses down to the stage!” Mr. Hymn’s voice boomed throughout the auditorium.

“Never mind,” I said. “It can wait.”

\----------------------------------------

“Let’s go to the mall!” I sang as I hoped into the Way’s car the next day after school. They both stared at me like I was crazy. I rolled my eyes. “Have you two never watched How I Met Your Mother?”

Gerard rolled his eyes as he started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. “No, not really.”

“Uncultured swines,” I muttered under my breath, and I heard Mikey let out a breath next to me like he thought that my comment was funny, just not funny enough to laugh at.

“So what exactly am I going to buy at Hot Topic?” I asked after a few minutes of silence. “That store’s not really my type.”

“Well,” Mikey spoke up. “It’s not all band stuff. There’s fandom stuff, what do you watch?”

I shrugged. “Whatever’s on. The only full show that I’ve watched is How I Met Your Mother. That show is life, I  _swear._ I can’t believe you’ve never watched it! So basically-“

“Kris,” Gerard cut me off, glancing in the rearview mirror. “You’re rambling again.”

“Sorry,” I muttered.

“What if you dyed your hair?” I turned to face Mikey and gave him my best ‘you’re crazy’ face. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. I’m serious.

“You don’t have to dye all of it,” Gerard said. “But I think dying the ends would be boring-“

“What if she dyed half of it? Like she split it down the middle, and kept one side her natural color, and the other she dyed? It would work because her hair is naturally almost black.”

“Oh my God!” Gerard practically squealed. “That would be  _so_ cute.”

“Do I get any say in this at all?” I interrupted.

“No.” They both said in unison.

“What about the color?”

“No.”

\--------------------------------------------

“Seriously? Can I  _please_  see the color you picked out for me?” I whined. I didn’t get much at Hot Topic, other than some really cute cat earrings, a pair of half black and half red jeans, and a couple of buttons, including a How I Met Your Mother one, of course.

“Nope,” Gerard said as he led me into the kitchen. “We’re gonna dye your hair in here, so we can rinse your hair in the sink and you don’t have to shower.

“My mom is going to kill me,” I mumbled.

“It’ll be worth it,” Mikey said. “Trust me.”

“Okay, so I’m going to explain what we’re going to do.” Gerard started. “Your hair is clean, so no need to wash it. We’re going to keep one side up, and not do  _anything_  to it, okay Mikey?” I felt like he was more telling Mikey what to do than he was me. “Great. So we can only leave the bleach in for 30 minutes, otherwise, it’ll burn your head. Because your hair is so dark, we might have to bleach it a few times. Then we’ll leave the dye in for an hour or two, and then rinse it, and your hair will be  _fabulous_! Any questions, comments, concerns?”

“Yeah, can we not do this?” I pleaded.

“Nope.” He said. “Okay Mikey, mix these. Wear gloves if you still want to keep your hands.” They began working, and the bleach was more of a blue than a white.

“Is it supposed to be that color?” I pointed.

“Yeah, it’s also a toner. So it helps get rid of some of the yellow and orange-ness that’s left when you bleach it.” Gerard said. “Okay, are you ready?”

“Not at all.”

“Great.” He took the applier brush thing and started putting the bleach on my roots.

“Is it supposed to tingle?” I asked.

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, now shut up and stop distracting us.”

They continued to apply the bleach to half of my head, wrapping the strands in tinfoil as they went. When they were finished, Gerard pulled out his phone.

“Okay, so most of its already been in for a while, so Mikey, can you rinse her hair in like, 15 minutes? I’m going to go get the CD player so we won’t be as bored. He left so I was alone with Mikey in the kitchen.

“So what were you going to ask me before?” Mikey turned to me. I sighed and looked down at my lap, where my hands were resting.

I looked back up so I was looking him directly in the eyes. “How come you never smile?”

He titled his head to the side. “What do you mean? I smile all the-“

“A real smile, Mikey.” I sighed. “Are you okay?”

His fake smile that he had on moments before fell. “No.” He whispered, and I scooted my chair over so that I was sitting directly beside him. I placed my hand on one of his and tried to ignore the sparks that shot through my arm. “So, I’ve never really been happy with myself. When I was little my Dad died in the car on his way to the hospital when I was being born, and I’ve kind of always blamed myself for it-“

“Mikey-“

“And I’m just never happy. I never have been, ya know? I’m just some dorky, anti-social kid who’d rather listen to music and read comic books then go and make friends. I’ve never even had any friends. And I’ve always been made fun of for it, ever since I was a kid, Of course, in elementary and middle school, it was just the constant teasing. But in the past two or three years, it’s just gotten  _so_ much worse. I would have people call me gay, emo, faggot, you name it. They would even paint those things on my locker. Every day, I had kids telling me that I should kill myself. And when Gerard came out, it just escalated so damn fast. Getting beat up was part of my daily routine. This one time, these kids brought a razor to school and slashed one of my wrists with it, and told the entire school that I had self-harmed.”

He shook his head, and his voice began to crack “And the things that they told me, I started to believe them. They told me that I would be better off dead, that no one would want me around. I was a disappointment to everyone, and things would be so much better if I were gone. So one day, when Gerard left the house for an hour or so, I took it as my chance, but I waited too long. I ran into the bathroom and grabbed all of the different pills I would find. When I was holding them in my hands, I-I just felt so powerful, I had the chance to end my life. But I thought about it too long, and I wouldn’t get the lids off of the damn bottles. As soon as I got one of the lids off, Gerard came home. I panicked and dropped it, and he heard me and ran into the bathroom and found me there. And I swear, he’s never looked at me or treated me the same way again. And I guess, that’s why I just never smile.”

After he finished, I didn’t know what to say, so I just attacked him into the biggest, most genuine hug I’d ever given anyone in a long time. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

He was reluctant at first, but he hugged back. “It’s not your fault, Kris.” He whispered into my ear.

“I know, but, why would  _anyone_  want to hurt you?” I sniffled. “You’re-“

“Are you crying?”

“Shut up,” I mumbled. “I really care about you.”

We stayed like that for a few minutes, just holding each other in the middle of his kitchen.

“Hey, let’s wash that bleach out of your hair so your scalp doesn’t burn off, and Gerard doesn’t kill me.” He gave me a small smile, and I pulled my chair over to the sink. He balled up a towel and put it behind my neck so that it wouldn’t be uncomfortable. He turned on the water, as I put my head back.

I don’t know what was happening to me, but all I knew was that I cared for Mikey.  _A lot_. And when his hands started massaging my head, my breathing hitched, and he noticed.

“Sorry, am I hurting you?” He said.

“N-no, you’re fine, some water just splashed in my eye a bit.”  I lied with a small smile, and he went back to rinsing my hair, as Gerard came down the stairs.

“I think we need to bleach it again.” He said. “It’s still a bit orange.”

Gerard sighed. “Sorry Kris, but this time, the bleach will burn.”

\-------------------------------------------------

“Can I take this damn thing off now?”  I protested. I had been wearing a shower cap for almost 2 hours now, and I had absolutely no idea what color my hair was going to turn out to be.

Gerard looked at his watch. “Yeah, it’s been long enough. C’mon lets go rinse it.” We made our way into the kitchen, and we repeated the same thing that we had already done twice today.

“Wait.” Mikey began as we were halfway into rinsing my hair. “Why do you keep cursing all of a sudden?”

I shrugged. “It’s kind of slipped its way into my vocabulary, I guess. It’s not just you guys, it’s also Forrest and Cassey. It’s mainly Cassey.”

“This is so pretty!” Gerard almost squealed when he shut off the water. “Gosh, I just want to eat it.” I gave him a weird look. “Mikey, get the blindfold.”

“Woah, woah, what are you guys doing?” I was suddenly really concerned as to what was going to happen next.

Mikey chuckled. “Relax, we’re blow drying your hair, but we don’t want you to see the color.”

I let out a breath. “Oh okay.”

\------------------------------------------------

“Oh my God, it’s pink!” I yelled as soon as I looked into the mirror. I started playing with my hair, scrunching it up, even smelling it. “Okay, you’re right, I want to eat it.”

“Do you like it?” Mikey asked from behind me. I turned around to face them.

“Yes!” I yelled. “Seriously, if you told me I would dye my hair like this, I would think you were crazy, but It looks so cool!” I squealed turning around to look in the mirror again. “The second time you bleached it, it really did burn, but oh my god you guys did an amazing job! Thank you so much!”  I wrapped them both in a hug, laughing at how they both squirmed when I did so.

I looked at my watch and saw that it was already ten at night. “Holy crap!”

“Oops, I didn’t think you’d be here this late. I’m really sorry, I can take you home-“ Gerard started.

“Uh, would it be okay if I slept over here? It would be so much easier. My parents are away, it’s fine.” I said.

“Sure!” Mikey didn’t even hesitate to respond. “Uh, our mom wouldn’t care at all. She’ll be home in a few minutes, she works the late shift, b-but yeah, you can stay.”

“Thank you.”             

 


	7. Chapter 7

"Kris." Mikey groaned. I was spending the night at Mikey and Gerard's house, and both of them had refused to let me sleep on the couch on the floor, but I had refused to let one of them do so. After a good five minutes of arguing, we decided that I was going to share the bed with Mikey.

"What?" I hissed. I had almost fallen asleep, but he kept annoying me.

"You're hogging the covers." He whisper-shouted back. I rolled my eyes, even though he couldn't see me in the dark. "God, I can just feel you rolling your eyes."

"Shut up," I mumbled while rolling over and pulling the covers with me.

"Goddamit Kris."

"Maybe you should move closer to me." I murmured, not realizing what I was saying in my half-asleep state. So I was surprised when I felt the warmth of his body on my back, and his arm slipped around my waist.

"Your hair does smell good." He noted, nuzzling his head into the crook of my neck.

I rolled my eyes, but in a good kind of way, as I was also smiling. "Goodnight Mikey."

"Mmh. Good night Kris."

**_*Mikey's POV *_ **

"Hey, there's this new necklace called a noose, you should try it, fag!" They laughed. And laughed. And laughed.

Then came the beatings. First, it was simple, the shoving into the locker. Then the hits came. To the face, to the stomach, everywhere. I tried to put my arms up in an attempt to protect my face. But one of them pinned my arms to the lockers, while the others continued to beat me. My glasses shattered when one punched my nose, leaving shards of glass in my eyes.

I cried out in pain and crumpled to the ground. I couldn't see anything that was going on, and the pain I felt from the blows that they were now delivering by foot felt like nothing compared to the pain piercing my dysfunctional eyes.

My breathing hitched when I felt a cool piece of metal touch my skin. It was an object I was all too familiar with, one that I had seen Gerard use too many times when he had gone through something similar. A razor.

"I say we make one for each dick he's sucked." One of them said, and the rest laughed.

"You wouldn't have enough room." That voice stood out from the rest. It wasn't deep, husky, or masculine like the rest. No, it was a sweet, feminine voice. Kris.

Suddenly, I could no longer feel the blood trickling down my wrists or my face. I could no longer feel the piercing and burning in my eye sockets, they were just a dull, background pain. The kicks and punches thrown felt like nothing more than blows in pillow fights. None of the pain could compare to that in my chest.

The girl that I had trusted. She was trying to break down my walls, I could tell that. And I helped her by opening up to her because I thought I could trust her. I thought she was different. But no, she was just like the rest. She wanted to know my secrets so she could whisper it to her friends, so the whole school would know. So that everything I escaped in Belleville could come back to bite me in the ass.

"Mikey." I could hear her sweet, now sick voice taunt. "Mikey."

Her voice grew louder and louder, and I fought to open my eyes. This was some kind of dream. It had to be. She would never do something like this. Unless this was a flashback-

"Mikey!" She screamed, and the pain finally faded to nothing, and I felt myself bolt upright. No, it wasn't a dream, because I couldn't see anything. The darkness around me was still there, I was blind, even though I could feel my eyes open. They darted around, as my breathing was still heavy and my heart was still pounding out of my chest, aching. I let out a sigh when I glanced at the alarm clock illuminating the corner of the room, reading 1:29 AM.

"Mikey." She placed an arm on my shoulder and I nearly jumped out of my skin. "Are you-"

"Get away from me." I nearly screamed, my voice cracking.

"It was just a dream-"

"No, it wasn't! You're one of them. I should have never trusted you-" My breathing that had slowed just a moment ago was now just as heavy as it was when I first woke up.

"Mikey, it's me. It's Kris, the girl from band." Her voice rang through my ears the way it did in my dream.

"I don't want anything to do with you." She reached for my arm again, and I bolted out of the bed. I ran down the hall, into the bathroom, and locked the door behind me. I felt the wood against my back as I slid down it, and burst into tears.

**_*Kris's POV*_ **

"Kris." I heard Gerard's voice come from the other bed.

"I-I don't know what happened," I whispered. I heard him pull off the covers, and his footsteps echoed through the room as he made his way to the light switched. The room lit up, and I had to cover my eyes at the sudden change. He sat on the bed next to me and put an arm over my shoulder.

"He had a dream. You can't blame him for acting like this, think about how jumpy you get when you wake up from a nightmare." He said, and I nodded. "You were probably in it, he's probably still debating whether it was real or not."

I just nodded again. "Yeah, you're right," I whispered.

"You know in New Jersey, especially last year, he went through some pretty-"

"I know." I interrupted. "He told me yesterday."

I felt his arm fall off my shoulder. "He did?" I nodded. "Wow. You know, he really trusts you. I don't even think he trusts me that much-"

He was cut off when Mikey entered the room. His eyes were puffy and red, and he had tear stains streaking down his cheeks. Gerard went back to his bed and Mikey sat next to me. "Kris, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I said. "You had a nightmare, and were jumpy, and I was probably in it-"

"Gerard talked to you?" He asked.

"Yeah."

He put an arm around me, the way Gerard did. "Despite his grades, he's a pretty smart guy." He chuckled. "I'm glad you don't hate me."

I was shocked by his words. "I would never hate you!"  _In fact, I feel the opposite way. I_ really  _like you._

He sighed. "I know."

"Do you want to tell me what it was about?" I asked. "Your dream."

He nodded and got up to turn off the lights before he crawled back into bed and spoke again. "It was just flashbacks of me getting beat up, but my glasses shattered and blinded me. And the thing with the razor, yeah, that kind of happened." He sighed. "And you were there. I forget what you said, but it was some smart remark. Coming from anyone else, it would still hurt, but it was so painful coming from you."

I rolled over to face him, and put one arm around his waist like he did to me before. "You know I would never do anything to hurt you." I said.

"I know. But that won't stop anyone else from doing anything."

I snaked my other arm around him and pulled him closer. His arms to longer hesitated to wrap around me, too. "I'll keep you safe," I whispered. "I promised."

And that's how we fell asleep.

\----------------------------------------

As soon as I got home, I literally sprinted up the stairs. My mom would definitely kill me if she saw my hair, at least if my dad were home, he'd talk some sense into her. They got back sometime during the day from their business trip, and I had no idea if either of the two were home.

I was also wearing the half black and half red jeans from hot topic, which my mother  _might_ have approved of if I were wearing a nicer shirt. But when I slept over, I had realized that my jeans were the only clothes I had, so Mikey had let me wear his  _Anthrax_ shirt for the day, as long as I gave it back to him as soon as possible. I smiled to myself, thinking about how much he loved that band. I walked over to my CD player and popped in the Anthrax CD. I turned the volume up to a decently loud level, forgetting that my parents could be home.

"Kris!" My mother yelled from downstairs.  _Shit._  "Turn that garbage down!" Her voice bellowed from two floors beneath me, and once I did, I could hear my dad's naturally loud voice talking to her. I relaxed a little bit, but was still antsy, knowing that my dad probably wouldn't like my hair. I pulled out my phone and started texting Mikey.

**_To: Mikey <3_ **

_So, my parents are home, and they're gonna flip when they see my hair and outfit. My mom also just yelled at me for playing Anthrax too loud._

Yes, "Cassey" had "taken my phone" and put a heart next to Mikey's Name. In reality, I did it myself, but that was my cover story.

**_From: Mikey <3_ **

_It looks pretty awesome though. Cassey like, cried over it. AND NO, TURN THAT SHIT UP. NO ONE TURNS DOWN ANTHRAX_

I giggled at his response, and my dad walked in.

"What are you giggling at?" I locked my phone and turned around, pausing the CD.

"Nothing." I said, surprised he hadn't commented on my hair yet, although he was giving me a skeptical look.

"When did you do that?" He asked. "And who were you texting? And what are you wearing?"

"Wow, Dad, you're just like Mom," I mumbled.

"No, your mother would be livid right now. And answer my questions!" He raised his voice.

I sighed. "I did this yesterday. And I'm texting Mikey. I went to Hot Topic yesterday and bought these jeans, and this shirt." I partially lied.

"That's a tour shirt, you wouldn't get that at a store." He said.

"Promise you won't tell mom? She'll flip." I pleaded.

He shrugged. "Depends."

I sighed, again. "Yesterday after I went to Hot Topic I went to Mikey and Gerard's house and we dyed my hair. When we finished, it was like, 10 at night, and I just asked if I could sleep over. I woke up and realized I didn't have any clothes to wear, and so he gave me his shirt. Please don't tell mom, they're boys, and she really doesn't like them in the first place. But I swear, we didn't hook up or have sex or anything, like I might be an idiot but at least I'm not  _stupid."_

He put his lips into a thin line. "Okay, I believe you. Change your shirt or you'll have to explain to your mom-"

"You slept over at their house?" My Mom yelled as I heard her coming down the hall. I panicked, I should have never dyed my hair, I should have just gone home after school, and I should have-

"What did you do to your hair?" She screeched, walking into my room.

I gave her a nervous smile. "H-hey m-mom."

"What made you think you could do that?" She yelled.

"Uh, I-it's  _my_  hair." I tried to argue, but my shaking hands and stuttering didn't make me look that great.

She laughed. "You are  _so_ grounded. You sleep over at your friend's house with not just one, but  _two_ guys-"

"They were at Cassey's New Yeae's party, and Forrest slept over too-"

"Yes, but I know their mothers! And you wouldn't be having sex at Cassey's house-"

"Mom!" I yelled. "I did not have  _sex_!"

"Next thing you know, you'll be getting piercings and tattoos and doing drugs and become a prostitute and die of AIDS-"

"Mom!" I yelled.

"Honey, listen, Kris is a teenager. This is normal for her, I listened to this music when I was a teen, and these seem like nice boys-" My dad started, but my mom cut him off.

"Yes, but you're different. When I slept over at your house-"

"Oh my God mom, you're such a hypocrite!" I yelled. " _Don't listen to that music_ when you and Dad did.  _Don't sleep over at guys houses_ when you did.  _Don't dye your hair_ when you said yourself that girls can dye their hair-"

"That's different." My mom said.

"How?" I yelled, out of frustration.

"That was back in the day-"

"Mom-"

"When you know, we weren't friends with fags-"

"Get out of my room!" I yelled, pointing at the door. "You can yell at me for my hair, my clothes, my music, for sleeping over at my friend's without asking, whatever. But the  _second_ you make fun of my friends-"

"I wasn't making fun of them." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I was speaking the truth."

"GET OUT!" I screeched so loud, that Cassey could probably hear me next door, despite how far apart her houses were. My mind shifted back to early this morning and last night, and everything that's happened to Mikey, and my eyes started to tear up. "I swear to God if you don't leave my room this second-"

"I'm your mother, I do what I want." She said, staring me down. I grabbed my phone and made my way to the window, opening it with ease and sliding up the screen.

"Kris, you get back here this second, I am your mother-"

"No!" I said. "If you call my friends names like that, I refuse to call you 'Mom'."

"Kris." My mom and dad both said in unison, with stern voices. I ignored them and sat on the windowsill, placing my feet on the limb of the pine tree beneath it. I shifted my weight onto my feet and turned around to close the window behind me. My mom had ran to the window, in an attempt to pull me back inside, resulting in me almost slamming the window shut on her fingers.

I held onto the branch above me in case my feet slipped and walked down the limb of the tree. I had practiced this over many years. At first, it was to sleep over at Cassey's when my mom said no. Then, it was to sneak out to parties, which Cassey's older sister would drive us to before she went to college.

I began scaling down the tree, but only halfway, and I swung myself into the creaky old treehouse that my dad and grandpa had built when I was six. I placed my back firmly against the wall, trying to block myself from the wind. I had made the smart move of coming out here in only a t-shirt and jeans in early January.

**_From: Mikey <3_ **

_Parents yelling at you?_

**_From: Mike <3_ **

_Hey, you there?_

I sighed, curling up into a ball, and replied.

**_To: Mikey <3_ **

_Yeah, sorry, they said shit and now I climbed out the window into this tree and I'm sitting in a tree house with nothing but a t-shirt and jeans to keep me warm._

**_From: Mikey <3_ **

_Smooth. I would help, but I'm on the other side of town. Text Cassey to bring you a jacket, or just go to her house._

I did what he said, and climbed down from the tree house, making sure my parents didn't see me in one of the many large windows. I ran into her house, where she pulled me into one of her famous bear hugs.

"Jesus fucking Christ, you're freezing!" She yelled. "What happened?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." I mumbled. "Basically my mother's a piece of shit." I said as I walked inside, accepting her cup of hot chocolate.

"Can I confess something?" She asked as we walked down the stairs.

"Go for it."

"I've never liked your Mom, like, ever." She said, and we both laughed, as I wiped tears from my eyes.

"I know."


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey."

I shifted my focus from the splintering wood floor of my treehouse to the entrance. I was in the same position that I had been in on Thursday night, 2 days ago. The only difference was that now, Mikey was standing in the entrance to the tree house, knocking on the inside wall, as if he needed to ask for permission to enter.

"Hey." I sniffled, not looking him in the eye.

He crawled into the treehouse and sat next to me, shrugging his bag off of his shoulders and into his lap. "I brought you a coat, and a larger blanket for the two of us to s-share." He pulled the items out of his back as he spoke. "And I got a couple of candles, seeing as it's cold and dark."

"Fire in a wooden house in a tree? Smart." I tried to laugh.

"Would you rather freeze in the dark?" He grabbed the coat and put it on for me, and laid out the blanket across our laps. He began to place the three candles in front of us and lit them.

"Dude, you forgot the two more candles and chalk." I was trying to make myself laugh more than Mikey, and this time, I just ended up choking on the tears I was trying to hold back.

"Hey, c'mere." He set down the lighter and wrapped an arm around me, pulling me into his body. Despite the heat that was produced by the candles and his body, and held to us by the coats and blanket, I still shivered. "Don't cry. Please."

I pressed the heels of my palms to my eyes. "Sorry," I whispered.

"No need to apologize." He rubbed my shoulder, and I swear to God, this boy might have just as well set my arm on fire instead of the candles. Despite his awkwardness in social situations, when we were alone, he was just himself, he hardly stuttered, and rarely got nervous. He was just... relaxed. And extremely good at comforting people, probably because of his own experiences. "Same thing happened as Thursday?"

I nodded. "Yeah, It's just-" I sniffled, shaking my head.

"Go on."

"It's just, it's not like I hate my mom, ya know? I love her. I just understand she's overprotective, she always has been. It's never really been a problem, but she's kind of still a teenager at heart, and s-she's just really judgmental. God, I sound like a whiney brat right now."

"No you don't." He pulled me even closer, if that were even possible, and I rested my head on his shoulder. "Continue."

"I don't know how to say this without sounding like a stuck-up kid who didn't get what they wanted for the first time." I sighed.

"Just say it. Just let it all out, and just rant. Trust me, you'll feel a million times better."

I sniffled and pressed my hands to my eyes again. "Okay, I mean, I've always looked up to my parents. Before I met Cassey in elementary school, and Forrest in middle school, they've been my best friends. And I just feel that we've lost that connection. We've all changed, me probably the most, but that's normal, right? I'm a teenager. I just feel like I'm starting to lose their trust, I mean, if I were a mom and my daughter came home with pink hair and started listening to metal music in contrast to her regular jazz, I mean yeah, I would be concerned too."

"And it's just, the things she's starting to say about you and Gerard. I just, I can't take it. I'd rather not repeat what she's said, but they definitely weren't nice things.  But she doesn't like my friends, I guess I know where she's coming from, her daughter is growing up, and she doesn't want to lose her daughter, but God, I'd just wish she'd express it in a different way."

I hadn't realized silent tears were streaming down my face. Mikey had wrapped his other arm around me, and I swear, I was going to explode. I've never been this close to a guy before. I mean, I've hugged Forrest before, but our relationship was and is completely platonic, and we weren't practically  _cuddling_  in my tree house.

I turned in his arms and buried my face in his chest while he spoke. "I think you just need to talk to her-"

"No." I looked up. "That's a terrible idea. That's probably even worse than doing nothing."

He sighed. "Well, it seems like those are your only two options. Unless you want to talk to your dad."

I shook my head. "No, he's already tried to talk sense into her. It hasn't really done much."

A wind blew through the tree house, causing us both to shiver and one of the candles to blow out. I tucked my legs into my body for warmth and snuggled into Mikey's side. "I'm getting worked up over nothing, I'm sorry-"

"No you're not-"

"I'm sorry. My parents are just being normal parents. They aren't abusive, or going through a divorce, and I should be lucky that I have even at least one of them. God, I-"

"Kris, calm down." I hadn't even realized I was shaking. "From an outside point of view, from someone who doesn't know you at all, they might believe that. But your parents are obviously important to you, and you value their trust. You're not overreacting, trust me."

I nodded and snuggled closer to him, so my head was nearly on his lap. I had my arms tightly around his waist, and his were around mine. Just the thought of hugging him a few weeks ago probably would've made my head spin and my knees go weak. But now, here I was, cuddling with him in my old tree house in my backyard. It was a friendly gesture for him to do this for me, and the word  _friend_  made me cringe, but right now, we were  _almost_ acting like we were more than friends, and it was making my insides explode.

I heard the back door to the porch open, and my father called my name. "I should probably go," Mikey said. I groaned in protest, and buried my face into his side, making him chuckle.

"Please don't," I begged, looking up at his eyes. The candlelight perfectly illuminated his face, and his eyes looked like two black holes that you could stare into for hours on end and still be lost in.

"Kris, I really have to go. You need to sort things out with your parents, and Gerard is waiting for me at the park."

I sighed and remove myself from his side, sitting up and groaning. He gave a small smile and blew out the candles, as I handed him the jacket and folded blanket.

"No, you keep the jacket, it's cold-"

"Mikey, I'm only going to be outside for a minute, tops." Even in the dark, I could see him roll his eyes. "Here, I'll go down first, and once I'm inside, you should be fine to leave, my parents shouldn't see you."

Just as I was about to leave and climb down from the tree house, I stopped to engulf him in a hug.

"Thank you," I said. "For everything."

"Always."

\--------------------------------

 _Always_. It's been six days since he met me in the tree house, nearly a week, and those words still linger in my head.

"Kris!" Dr. Heliot snapped, causing me to pay attention, and for Gerard to sicker beside me as I gave him a look. "Would you be so kind to tell us the answer to number-" The bell rang, cutting him off, and I let out a sigh of relief. I threw my stuff in my bag and walked out of the class with Gerard.

"Man, you've got to start paying attention in that class." He said, and I rolled my eyes.

"I already know everything that's being taught. What's the point?" Just before we walked into pre-calc, I saw Mikey in the hall paying me. I gave him a quick smile and wave, and he returned the gesture. As Gerard and I made our way to our desks, he nudged me with his elbow.

"What?" I groaned, tossing my bag on the floor.

"Valentine's day is tomorrow. Got any plans with  _him_?" He asked, referring to Mikey.

I rolled my eyes and pulled out my binder. "I wish."

"Then why not ask him to do something?" I gave him a look that said  _are you stupid?_  "What?"

"He obviously doesn't like me back." I sighed.

"So you're admitting it!" He yelled. "You have a crush on-" I quickly leaned over his desk and clamped my hand over his mouth before anyone else could hear anything. I glanced around, and to my surprise, no one was looking at us.

"Shut up!" I hissed. "I do, okay? And it's more than a little crush if you're so concerned."

"Oooooh," He did his best imitation of a first grader. "You  _love_ him."

I smacked his arm. "I do not  _love_ him!"

"You just have more than a crush on him." I nodded. "Gosh, girls make no sense, whatsoever. Guys aren't nearly as confusing."

I rolled my eyes. "Then go fuck Frank for Valentine's."

"Harsh." He said, and I mumbled a 'sorry'. "I don't know the guy very well, I'd never have  _sex_  after even being in a relationship for a few months, if we even ever had one. You and Mikey are really close, though."

"Like I said before, he'd never like me back." I rested my cheek in one hand and twirled my pen with the other.

He scoffed. "Are you kidding? He cares more about you than anyone else. You never know, it could work out."

I sighed. "Has anyone's crush ever worked out for them, or is that just a myth?"

\-----------------------------------------

"Hey mom!" I exclaimed as I walked in the door, after Cassey had driven us home. I hadn't bothered to get my license or permit yet, because Cassey basically drove me everywhere. But I had finally talked things out with my mom, and we were on good terms now.

"Hey sweetie, c'mere for a second?" I did as she told, and walked into the living room, where a guy my age sat.

"Mom, who's this?" I asked. He turned to face me, and he was all too familiar, but I couldn't exactly remember who he was. He was wearing a sweater vest, and you would assume he would be a nerd, but he was  _hot._  Just not my type. But  _hot._

She gave me a smile. "You don't remember him? It's Darren, Darren Malthus, you two went to elementary school together, before he moved to Woodlake, you two used to be best friends!" He gave me a sick smile.  _Best friends, my ass._

This was the kid who bullied me in kindergarten through second grade. It was never serious, just the constant teasing, hair pulling, and threatening to put boogers on me. He once poured glue in my hair, and I cried for three days because I had to cut it off. I never told my parents, because they were friends with his parents. So naturally, he would come over a lot, and he would throw mud at me outside, or spray me with the hose. I almost didn't recognize the bastard without his crooked teeth and bowl cut.

"It's been so long." I cocked my head to the side, crossing my arms and keeping a straight face. "So why are you here?"

"Kris!' My mom raised her voice. "Don't be rude. I'll leave you two alone, I'll go start dinner. We're having lasagna."

I rolled my eyes once she left. I rested my arms on the back of the couch and refused to sit down. "What the fuck do you want?"

He smiled. "Not the innocent girl we used to be, eh?" He teased, his British accent making me want to throw up. I take it back when I said he was hot.

"I asked you a question," I said, "it would be polite to answer, wouldn't it?"

He stood up and walked over to me. "Oh Kris, you know I've never been one to be polite."

I took a step back. "Answer the damn question. What do you want?"

He took a step towards me, and before I could move away, he grabbed my arms. "You."

Before I could respond, he closed his eyes and leaned in. I panicked, and did the first thing I could think of doing: I kneed him in 'that area'.

"MOTHER FUCKER!" He screamed, grabbing his crotch and fell to his knees.

My mom came rushing into the room. "What happened?" She exclaimed.

I pointed at Darren, who was now curled up on the floor. "He tried to kiss me!" I yelled.

"That's the point." She said, and I nearly choked.

I felt my eyes nearly fall out of my head. "W-what!?"

"Kris, you're 16. It's time you start dating."

If I hadn't been disgusted before, I was beyond it now. "A-are you trying to s-say you tried to hook me up w-with that  _thing_?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. I've made reservations for the two of you for a Valentine's dinner tomorrow at-"

I couldn't hear the rest of what she said before I blacked out.


	9. Chapter 9

The snow was falling, incessantly and despite its fluffy, Christmas card and angelic appearance, the cold was absolutely unbearable.

"Guys, c-can we p-please g-go inside, I-I'm g-gonna freeze." I chattered, wrapping my arms around myself to keep warm. Despite it being 10 degrees and snowing outside, we were still in our usual spot before school, with our backs pressed to the brick wall at the back of the school, under the bleachers that rested against it.

"No," Gerard said. I looked at him like he was crazy, and my look only intensified when he took out a pack of cigarettes.

"Gerard!" I yelled, catching the attention of Cassey, Forrest, and Mikey. "Those can kill you!"

"And?" He put the cancer stick between his lips and lit it, cupping his hands to shield it from the wind. I sighed, knowing that there was no way I was going to argue him into quitting, as it was probably a habit he had developed over the years.

I was still shivering, so I leaned into Mikey's side. I saw Cassey Give me a suggestive look, but I rolled my eyes and rested my head against his shoulder. "I'm cold," I mumbled into his shoulder.

He laughed. "It's funny how you've lived here for a while, but I'm more used to this cold than you."

"Because I don't stand outside when it's ten degrees!" I yelled, sighing. He wrapped an arm around me, and I had to bite my lip to keep from squealing. God, I really was like a lovesick teenager.

"So, I heard you were in the hospital?" Cassey asked, and I laughed.

"Oh yeah, you guys will love this," I said, remembering the events of Friday and Saturday. "Basically, I finally got on good terms with my mom. And then I came home and there was this guy in my living room. At first, I thought he was hot. Then, I remembered he was a family friend who bullied me in elementary school until he moved in third grade."

"You were bullied?" Gerard asked.

I shrugged. "Not badly. Anyway, so my mom left, and he was talking to me, and he tried to kiss me, so I kneed him in the balls-"

Everyone immediately laughed and Forrest whistled. "Nice one, Kris. Hit 'em where it hurts."

"Right? Anyway, so my mom comes in, and she's like 'why did you do that? He's supposed to be your Valentine's date.' And then I fainted. And my mom freaked out, as usual, and took me to the hospital. I told her I hit my head so I couldn't go. So yeah, that's how I ended up in the hospital and avoided a date."

"Are you just against dates? Or-" Mikey asked.

"No, no. Just not with  _him._  And now my mom's not going to give up because he's rich even though I like-" I bit my tongue to stop myself from saying anything else.

"You like someone?" Mikey's eyes widened.

"Yeah, Kris, do tell," Cassey said ever so sarcastically, but not enough for Mikey to hear.

"Shut up."

\-------------------------------

"Alright, everyone sit in one of the first few rows, I have some exciting news!" Mr. Hymn called from the front of the auditorium, clasping his hands together, as everyone started to walk in for jazz band. We sat down and Mikey turned to me.

"So, who do you l-"

"I'm not telling you."

"C'mon, Kris, I promise I won't tell him. Or her. Oh, it's a she! That's why you're not telling me!"  _Mikey, you are_ so _far off._

I folded my arms across my chest. "No, it's not a girl. And no, I'm not telling you."

"Please?" I looked over at him, and he was giving me a puppy dog face, and I had to crack a smile.

"Fine." I rolled my eyes. "It's your mom."

"Jesus, Kris, I'm serious!" He laughed.

I groaned. "Maybe later."

"Alright, everyone, settle down, settle down." Mr. Hymn said, causing everyone to fall silent. We all stared at him, wondering what the "exciting news" was. It was hardly ever exciting. "So, as you know, our trip to Music In The Parks is scheduled for the end of May, possibly early June. I have been informed of the actual date."

Everyone began cheering, and Mikey leaned over to me. "Is that the six flags thing?" I nodded.

He sighed. "Yes, exciting, however-" He began, and there were some groans. "It has been moved up two months."

"What?" I yelled. "That's like, in a month!"

"Yeah, then we can't go to the waterpark!" Some guy yelled.

"And we can't see chicks in bikinis!" His friend yelled. I turned to look at them in disgust.

"Seriously?" I yelled. "That's what you're worried about? We only have a month to work on the music!"

They rolled their eyes. "Chillax Kris, we have a month. Calm your tits."

"I will not 'calm my tits'." I said, making air quotes. "We won first place for the past five years, and we're not going to lose this year because two stoners like you want to  _chillax_  and check out girls!" I huffed, turning around back in my seat, and crossed my arms. Mikey and Forrest were chuckling on either side of me. "Shut up," I mumbled.

"Kris is right." Mr. Hymn said. "The field trip will be on March twenty third. That gives us exactly six weeks before the trip. From now on, jazz band will be every day after school for an hour. The three weeks leading up to the trip, it will be two hours after school, and the week before the trip, we will be practicing an hour in the mornings as well." Everyone groaned.

"I don't want to be here as much as you guys do. But this year, there are some really good bands competing. We have to win this year. I've also switched out one of our songs for a more difficult piece, but it will be worth it."

"Which piece?" Someone yelled. "Don't let it be the Black Keys one."

He sighed. "I'm afraid so, it just isn't amazing. Now, everyone get out your instruments, and on your way to the stage, grab a permission slip and music from the table. Remember, the money is also due in three weeks. Anyone who doesn't have a signed permission slip and the trip paid in full will not be permitted to go.

\-----------------------------------

**_To: Mikey <3_ **

_I'm bored._

**_From: Mikey <3_ **

_Wanna meet up at the park? x_

I had to do a double take at my phone, as my heart skipped a beat. Did he really just put an x? Isn't that a kiss? Wait, _does this mean that he actually likes me?_ I rolled my eyes. Probably not.

**_To; Mikey <3_ **

_Sure! Omw now :)_

"Mom!" I yelled, grabbing my coat and running down the stairs. "I'm meeting Mikey at the park. I'll be home by dinner!"

She stepped in front of the door. "Woah, who said you could go?" I shrugged. "What's with this Mikey boy? Do you like him or something?"

"Mom!" I yelled. "I do  _not_!" I scoffed, trying to get around her.

"Fine, maybe I should call Daren up again, he could meet you there as well."

"Absolutely not! He's an ass!" I bit my lip after the words fell out of my mouth, realizing that I had just cursed to my mom.

She rolled her eyes, not mentioning it. "I don't understand you teenagers. I can never figure you out. Just go." She stepped away from the door, and I gave her a hug goodbye.

"Thanks mom! I'll be home by dark!"

"I thought you said dinner-"

"Whichever one comes later! Bye!" I walked out the door and made my way down the park to the street. Shivering, I wrapped my arms around my body, wishing that I had worn an extra layer underneath my jacket. I should've known better, as Mikey said before, I've lived in Blackmont my entire life, I should be used to the cold weather and how to deal with it. But I wasn't because like most other teenagers, my skin hardly saw the sunlight, and I was almost as pale as Gerard. However, I don't blame myself, as there is almost nothing to do in this stupid shithole of a town. I don't blame half the kids at my school for taking drugs, sometimes that's the only thing there is to do.

What even happened? I used to love this town. I used to love the peace and quiet, and the feet upon feet of snow that fell every winter. I loved the stars that would light up the night, I loved being in the middle of nowhere. I loved the people, I loved my school, everything. But where did everything go wrong? Why did I suddenly want to ditch this town, and run away and never turn back?

**_From: Mikey <3_ **

_I'm halfway there, be there in like 5-7 minutes. X_

My thoughts immediately shifted as I gazed at the text while walking, raising my hand to my face to hide the smile that grew as I internally fangirled over the x at the end.  _Dammit Kris, get your shit together._

**_To: Mikey <3_ **

_Awesome, I'm just here now. Meet me at the swings xx_

I made my way over to the swings, just sitting on the swings and wondered how I got so lucky to meet this boy.

Almost immediately after sending a text, I heard a voice behind me. "Hey."

I looked up, realizing that it wasn't Mikey's voice. I defensively stood up and took a step back. "Daren."

He smiled and stepped towards me. I tried walking backwards, but nearly tripped over the swing, and he grabbed my forearms. "You made us cancel our  _date_  for Satur-"

"Go away." I spat. "I never liked you and I never will."

He sighed. "You never know. I'm sorry for what I've done all those years ago. I only did it because I had a crush on you. It was stupid, I shouldn't have-"

"Mhm," I replied. "You should've thought of that earlier." He tried to take a step closer, but I stopped him. "Now get away from me now, at any point I can call the police."

He ignored my comment and stepped closer so that his face was inches from mine. He stood on my feet so I couldn't move, and slipped his arms around my waist. "But why would you ever do that?

"Because." I spat. "You're-"

Before I could speak, his lips were inches from mine. I turned my head at the last second, so instead of my lips, his collided with my cheek. He pulled away and glared at me, and I could see a spark of anger in his eyes.

"Please leave me alone," I begged. "I'm sorry, but I don't like you-"

"I'm not taking no for an answer." He growled. "Especially not from a  _girl._ "

I opened my mouth to scream, to call for help,  _something_ , but instead, his mouth muted my words. He immediately shoved his tongue in my mouth, causing me to lean backwards, but he just grabbed the back of my head and held it to his lips. I tried moving my lead left to right, but he mimicked my actions, yet I refused to mirror his, as he sloppily kissed me until I wanted to puke. I couldn't see anything, not because I had my eyes closed, but because they were blurred with tears, tears that streamed down my face.

I tried to reach in my pocket for my phone, but it fell to the ground, and that's when I really lost it, knowing that no one would come to my rescue, that to any passer-by it would look like a couple making out, and if Mikey were to come, he would just turn around and go back home.

But that's not what happened.

**_*Mikey's POV*_ **

**_From: Kris <3_ **

_Awesome, I'm just here now. Meet me at the swings xx_

"Dude, stop smiling at your phone like that, someone's gonna think you're watching porn or something," Gerard said, glancing at me from the driver's seat.

"Sorry," I mumbled, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks, as I bit back a smile.  _Two x's. Not just one, but two._

"Seriously!" He yelled. "Stop acting like a teenage girl because your crush replied to your text.

"But she replied with  _two_ x's at the end, Gerard.  _Two!_ " I said, and he just shook his head smiling, as he pulled up outside the park gates.

"Just use protection, bro. I'll be at the Starbucks ten minutes away, call me if you need." He smirked, practically throwing me out of the car and driving off.

I sighed, looking around at the park, seeing the swings on the other side of the park. I glanced over there, seeing Kris be surprised by another guy, and she looked uncomfortable with him. Her eyes constantly darted around, and her arms were defensively placed across her chest. She looked like she was going to bolt at any moment until the guy grabbed her arms. I immediately quickened my pace, trying to reach the other side of the park as soon as possible. My heart skipped a beat, as this was probably that Daren guy. Just looking at him made me want to punch his throat.

As soon as I was in earshot, he slipped his arms around her waist and leaned in to kiss her, as she turned her head at the last second. He pulled away, and if Gerard were to draw this right now, he would without a doubt make smoke come out of his ears.

"Please leave me alone." She said, her voice cracking. "I'm sorry, but I don't like you-"

"I'm not taking no for an answer." He growled. "Especially not from a  _girl._ "

At that point, she opened her mouth, probably to scream, and if I walked, I was a good 10, maybe 20 seconds away. But he immediately shoved his tongue into her mouth, and I could see her struggling to escape him. He grabbed her head, forcefully, and at this point I was close enough to see the tears falling down her face, as she dropped her phone to the ground. I was running at this point, desperate to reach them.

And I didn't stop running until my fist came into contact with his face.


	10. Chapter 10

**_*Kris’s POV*_ **

Suddenly, everything just stopped.

I stopped struggling to get out of his grasp. I stopped trying to fight back, as I realized that there was no use, and I was just going to make things worse. But then I felt his head jerk to his left, and he stopped kissing me as he fell to the ground.

I immediately jumped back, and was about to run, when someone grabbed my arm. I snapped my head to the person, thinking that it would be Daren. Instead, I came face to face with Mikey, and that’s when I realized that Mikey had been the one to punch him. I immediately stepped forward and collapsed into his arms.

“Are you okay?” He whispered and stroked my hair. I nodded, further pressing my face into his jacket

“And who is this lil’ shit that just punched me?” Daren yelled. I pulled away from Mikey to see him furiously looking between the two of us. Instead of answering his question, I bent down to pick up my phone.

“Leave,” I said, “Before I call the police and report you for sexual harassment.”

He scoffed. “Like I care. And besides, what’s going to happen to me? They’re not going to listen to some chick.”

I raised my eyebrows and dialed a nine. “Watch me.” I spat before dialing another one. “What will your parents say? Their image will be  _ruined_ because of you.”

“My dad doesn’t give-“

“And worst of all,” I lowered my voice. “My mother will  _never_  want anything to do with you. So you will  _never_ have me.”

He rolled his eyes before muttering something about bitches and periods. “Fine. I’ll leave. But this doesn’t mean we’re done.” He gave me a sickly smile before walking off to God knows where. I sat down on the swing as Mikey sat on the one next to me.

“Thank you,” I said.

He nodded. “Was that Daren?”

“Yeah.” I began to smile until I couldn’t help but laugh.

“What?”

I shook my head. “It’s just you, punching someone, God I wish someone recorded it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re the last person I would expect to punch someone,” I said. “And that was a  _nice_  one. Remind me to never get in a fight with you.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, wait, what are you doing?”

I leaned my swing all the way to the left, away from him, so that I was holding onto the pole. I let go and let myself swing down and crash into Mikey.

“What the hell?” He laughed. “What are you, twelve?”

“Yeah, on a scale from one to ten.” I over-dramatically flipped my hair.

“Keep telling yourself that.” I looked over at him, and he was smiling, and I could hear it in his voice. And it wasn’t even one of those Mikey Way famous smirks, it was a  _legit_  smile that  _actually_  reached his eyes. “What?”

I smiled and poked his cheek, which made him smile even more. “You’re smiling.” He tried to bite his lip to stop smiling, but I poked his cheek again. “No, don’t stop smiling!”  _It’s cute._

He didn’t say anything, but he had begun to lean all the way to the right, as I had done before. He went to go crash into me, but I pushed my swing back, causing him to miss.

“Haha, missed me- Ow, shit!” He had crashed his swing into mine on his way back, and now the chains of our swings were in a tangled mess, along with some of my hair.

“Is your-hair-stuck?” He asked, clutching his stomach like I was because we were laughing so hard.

I groaned. “Yes, now stop laughing and help me!” We spent the next five minutes trying to untangle the swings, as well as my hair, trying to not fall over from laughing. It also didn’t help that he insisted on tickling me the entire time.

“Aw, little Kris is ticklish.” He said, poking my cheeks as we were walking back to the park entrance.

I swatted his hand away. “Shut up, I’m like, a month older than you.”

He rolled his eyes. “Whatever. I don’t need your sass.”

I looked at him. “Oh please. We all know I’m not nearly as sassy as Gerard. Well, maybe a little, but Gerard tops.”

“You’ll have to ask Frank about that.” He said, and I nearly choked on air. “Seriously, one day I’m terrified I’m going to come home and find out that information.”

I shrugged. “I think Gerard would top. He’s-“

“Stop!” He yelled. “Stop, that’s my brother!” He covered his ears and sighed. “Anyways, he’s waiting at a Starbucks 10 minutes away, so I’ll walk you home.”

“No, you don’t have to-“

“No, it’s fine.” He said, and I turned to give him a smile.  “I still think it’s hilarious that you’re ticklish.”

“And you’re not?” I raised an eyebrow, and he gave me a nervous glance. “Oh my God, Mikey Way is ticklish too!”

“Am not-“

“Are too!” I jabbed his side, causing him to giggle. “You just giggled!”

Even in the fading light, I could still see the heat rise to his cheeks as he looked to the ground. As he took out his phone and texted his brother, all I could think about was how perfect he was. How his glasses fell to his nose, causing him to continuously push them up, how his dirty blonde, almost brown hair swept over his eyes, or how he literally had a jawbone to die for.  _God, I just want to kiss you so badly right now._

“Why are you staring at me? Do I have something on my face?” He asked, and now it was my turn to look away and blush.

“No.” I shook my head.  _Dammit Kris, he caught you staring. Now he thinks you’re weird._

We continued our walk in silence, a comforting one. When we reached the gates to my house, I really didn’t want to leave.

“That was fun,” I said. “Well, minus the whole Daren incident, but yeah.” I shoved my hands in my pocket and glanced at the ground before looking at him. “Thank you.”

He just nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I smiled. “See ya tomorrow.” I turned around and began to push open the gate when he called my name.

“Kris?”

I turned my head over my shoulder. “Yeah?”

He shook his head. “Never mind. I-I’ll see you tomorrow.” He turned around and walked away before I could say anything else. I sighed and continued the lonely walk up my unnecessarily long driveway, and went inside.

“Mom!” I yelled, throwing my jacket on the hook by the door.

“Yes?” She came down the stairs, with an almost guilty look on her face.

“Did you tell Daren I was going to the park?”

“What? No-“

“Don’t lie to me.” I crossed my arms.

She sighed. “Alright, I did-“

“Mom!” I threw my hands up in the air. “Did you know that he practically constrained me,  _just_  so he could kiss me?”

She seemed confused. “Well, why didn’t you just kiss him back?”

“Because I didn’t want to! I don’t like him. Not even as a person.”

“So?” She asked. “Why-“

“Just drop it.” I pushed past her and ignored her calling my name as I locked myself in my room, before blasting Anthrax.

\----------------------------------

**_From: Unknown number_ **

_Hey sweetie, it’s Daren again._

**_From: Unknown number_ **

_Don’t ignore me_

**_From: Unknown number_ **

_Stop being a whore and answer my calls_

I groaned in frustration and hit my head on my desk of Spanish class. I don’t know why, but I decided to read the texts that started it all.

Ever since the incident at the park, Daren had somehow managed to get my number. Since then, he has been repeatedly calling and texting me, especially at the most inconvenient times. At school, while I was doing homework, while I was sleeping, you name it. No matter what I was doing, it was bound to be interrupted by one of his texts.

**_From: Unknown number_ **

_I told you I won’t take no for an answer. Now, everyone thinks that_ you’re  _the one who won’t take no for an answer._

Just to prove my point, he texted me again, just as the rest of my Spanish class began filing in the door.

“Hey Kris, what did you do last night?” One kid asked.

I raised an eyebrow. “Why do you care?”

He snorted along with his friend. “Someone told me you were sucking off a few guys behind the movie theater.”

“What?” I nearly shouted.

They didn’t respond, just went to their seats and sat down. I sighed and slumped in my seat as the bell rang, and I began counting down the sixty-two minutes until I was able to leave for the day.

Ten minutes into class, a note was slid onto my desk.

_Hey, I heard you don’t take no for an answer. Wanna see if I can resist? ;)_

I looked around the room, trying to find out who the message came from, and when I turned my head back around to my desk, there was another note.

 _In case you’re a slut_ and  _stupid, I’m asking you to suck my dick like you did last night._

I crumpled up the paper and dropped it on the ground next to me. I tried ignoring it, as it was probably that kid from before and his friend. Not everyone thinks this, right?  _This has nothing to do with Daren, right?_

_Fucking the whole town now, I see. Can I be next?_

I immediately pulled out my phone, ignoring all of the texts from Daren, and opened Gerard’s contact.

**_To: Sass Queen_ **

_I need to get out of this class. Now. Where are you?_

**_From: Sass Queen_ **

_Behind the school, under bleachers, where we go b4 school. With Frank._

I stood up, catching my teacher’s attention. “¿Puedo ir al baño?”

“She’s probably going to go get knocked up in there.” Someone commented, causing everyone to laugh. I grabbed my backpack and jacket and bolted out of the room, not slowing down until I could no longer hear the laughter of the class. I stopped for a minute to put on my jacket, before pressing the heels of my palms to my eyes to suppress my tears and walking outside and under the bleachers.

“Shit, Kris, what’s wrong?” Gerard immediately said as he saw me. He dropped his cigarette, extinguishing it with his foot. He opened his arms and I hugged him, beginning to let silent tears fall. After a minute of pulled myself together, I stepped back. Next to him was a boy that Gerard had described so many times as Frank.

“Hey, I’m Kris, sorry you have to meet me this way.” I gave a small smile and bit my lip.

“It’s fine. If I’m allowed to ask, what’s wrong?”

I sighed. “Gerard, did Mikey tell you about Daren a few days ago?” He shook his head, and I directed my attention more towards Frank. “Well, on Friday when I came home from school, my mom had this guy in my living room, and this guy was someone who bullied me in elementary school. It wasn’t bad, we were like six. Anyway, he moved away and I never saw him again until then. He tried to kiss me and I said no, and my mom set me up on a date with him, because she’s friends with his really rich parents, and I fainted.”

He nodded, and Gerard spoke. “Wait, something else happened?”

I nodded. “So then a few days ago, I was going to meet Mikey at the park. I guess my mom told Daren that I was going there, and so he met me there, too. He practically forced me to kiss him, and he was grabbing me and clawing me and it really hurt, and he just shoved his tongue inside of me and it was awful and then Mikey came and punched him in the face which was awesome.” I gave a small laugh.

“And yeah, since then he’s been non-stop calling and texting me, calling me a whore and a slut and a thot and stuff like that. And he knows people at this school, and he started a r-rumor that I’m just basically a slut and go around sucking-“ I took a deep breath. “Basically I just had at least four people in my Spanish class ask me to suck them off, and when I asked to go to the bathroom as an excuse, one kid said I was going there to get knocked up and I just kind of ran and- yeah.”

I bit my lip and just kind of stared at the ground for a minute or two. I looked up and Gerard had lit up another cigarette, and Frank had one of his own.  _I wonder-_

“Can I t-try one?” I pointed to Gerard.

He looked at me with wide eyes. “Are you serious?”

I nodded. “I heard it calms you down and I’m just really stressed and, it couldn’t hurt to try, right?”

He sighed, holding out his hand. “It’ll burn at first, but yeah. Don’t tell Mikey I let you.”-

I grabbed the cigarette from his outstretched fingers, and held it to my lips, hesitating before breathing it in. I immediately choked as I felt the smoke hit the back of my throat, and Gerard and Frank burst out laughing.

“Sorry, it’s just great to see people take their first drag,” Frank said, still laughing a bit. “Go on, take another.”

I wasn’t as hesitant this time, doing the same thing as I did before, pressing it to my lips and slowly inhaling. This time, the smoke didn’t burn, and as I exhaled, I felt all of my muscles just relax. The headache that I hadn’t noticed I had before was gone, and I was just, calm.

“It’s great isn’t it?” Gerard said, before taking it back, laughing a bit when I let out a small whimper. “Just don’t go stealing all my cigarettes now.”

 I laughed, but Gerard didn’t. “Seriously though, it’s an awful thing to get hooked on. It can-“

‘Give me cancer, whatever.” I sighed. “But really, who gets cancer from smoking for like, a year? No one. How many people out of all smokers get cancer even in their entire lifetime? If I do become addicted, who says that I can’t just stop in a few years, after high school or college and be fine for the rest of my life?”

Frank shrugged. “She does have a point.”

Gerard handed me his cigarette, but not before warning me. “Just put your hair up and don’t wear that jacket inside, you’ll smell like smoke. We also have gum, and some cologne, so you have the option to smell like a dude or smoke.”

I shook my head, and put my hair up. “I have perfume in my bag. Really Cassey and I always carry a bottle to spray Forrest with, it’s quite amusing.”

“You sick bastard.” He said, handing it to me. “You  _never_  spray a guy with perfume!”

I shrugged before inhaling the smoke that became so addicting after just a few minutes. “What can I say?  I’m really the spawn of Satan.”

Frank laughed. “You know, from a distance, I didn’t like you. Everyone secretly loves you, and I imagined you to be a stuck-up cheerleader-type of a girl. But you’re actually pretty cool.”

I nodded. “I just didn’t know you well enough at all to really judge you.”

In the distance, I heard the muffled sound of a bell, and Gerard showed me how to extinguish the cigarette without burning down the school. I took down my hair and popped a piece of gum in my mouth, and sprayed perfume.

“That stuff is disgusting, I feel  _so_ bad for Forrest.” Gerard coughed.

I rolled my eyes.  “Oh come one, us girls deal with you guys spraying your axe everywhere, you can put up with our perfume.” I grabbed my bag. “Well, I have jazz band now. I just can’t wait until we have to go  _before_ school, too.” I rolled my eyes.

“Please, Mikey is begging for me to kill him when that happens.”

I laughed. “Might as well kill me while you’re at it, too.”


	11. Chapter 11

“Kris-“

I shook my head. “Mikey, don’t.”

Ever since Wednesday, when the rumors just started, they ended up growing worse and worse, like a snowball rolling down a hill that only grew bigger. It was now Tuesday, and lately, I’ve been ignoring everyone. Mikey, Gerard, Forrest and even Cassey, who I’ve been best friends with ever since I finally got to escape Daren when he left in elementary school. I didn’t mean to ignore them, it just happened. It was lunch, and Mikey, Cassey, and Forrest were trying to talk to me, and Gerard and Frank, who usually sat with us now, where nowhere to be seen, and were probably behind the school.

He reached for my hand. “Please, we-“

I pulled my hand back. “I’m sorry. I just want to be alone.”

“Kris, please stop!” His voice raised a little with concern. “Please stop trying to push us away! We want to help-“

“What if I don’t want your help?” I snapped, starting to get attention from people from other tables. Mikey tried to grab my arm, but I shook him away as I grabbed my bag. “I’ll see you next period.” And I ran out of the lunch room.

I made my way through the easily-navigable small halls of my school to the back door and ducked under the bleachers, where Frank and Gerard were sitting on the ground, just smoking and talking.

I threw my bag on the ground and plopped next to Gerard, holding out my hand.

He sighed. “You know, Mikey will kill me if he finds out I’m giving you cigarettes.”

I shrugged my shoulders and gratefully accepted the already lit cigarette he placed in my hand. Despite the fact that I’ve been smoking for a few days now, it was still hard to fight the urge to cough when I breathed in the smoke. Yet, it was relaxing, soothing in a way. The way that the smoke filled my lungs, and made it feel tight, made me feel alive. It felt as though I was floating, and sent a warm feeling throughout my body even though it was close to zero degrees outside.

“He cares a lot about you, ya know.” He sighed. “Mikey.”

I let my head fall back against the brick wall as I took another puff. “I know, and I feel terrible for starting to push him away- but it’s what I always do when I’m stressed. I just stop talking to people.”

“He doesn’t know that. He thinks he did something wrong, like it was his fault because he told you to meet at the park-“

“What?” I interrupted. “Tell him it’s not-“

He shook his head. “You have to tell him. It’s not my job to fix my brother’s relationships.”

“I’ll tell him next period,” I said, whining when Frank plucked my cigarette from my hands.

“Sorry, mine finished, and Gerard won’t give me any more.” He said.

“Because you’ve already smoked three today, Frankie!” He took the cigarette from Frank, and I took a drag of it while staring at Frank with a smug smile on my face.

“And if you keep giving some to her, she’s going to end up just like me, and Mikey will  _really_  kill you then.”

I rolled my eyes. “Why does Mikey even care? I’m just some-“

“You’re like, his only friend, Kris.” 

“But what about Cassey and Forrest-“

“He’s not nearly as close to them as he is to you.” 

“Yeah, but-“

“But the two of you are also in love” Frankie called out from beside Gerard.

“We are not-“

He laughed. “You totally are. Gerard refuses to confirm anything, but it’s  _so_  obvious that he likes you, and that you like him too.”

I groaned and shut my eyes. “Just don’t tell anyone, okay?” I said. “I don’t need people going around saying I sucked  _him_  off too.”

The bell rang, and I moaned and gave my cigarette to Frank. “Seeing as you’re probably skipping next period, while I’m actually going to band.” I popped a piece of gum in my mouth. “See you tomorrow.”

I made my way to the auditorium, keeping my head down, not wanting to talk to anyone, but my plan was ruined when I bumped into Mikey as I was about to reach the auditorium. “Hey, Mikey, I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to-“

“Why do you smell like smoke?”

I shrugged. “I was talking to Gerard and Frank.”

“And?”

I shrugged again. “They were smoking.”

He nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay!” Forrest popped in next to us.

“Go away Forrest, this isn’t a novel by John Green.” I laughed and he went to the drum set before the other drummer could. “Sorry, he reads all the books that Cassey makes him, and they’re usually by John Green.”

He nodded but didn’t say anything. I grabbed his arm when he tried to walk away.

“Hey, I’m sorry about before, and about ignoring you guys, it’s just what I do whenever I’m stressed out. I feel awful about pushing people away, but don’t think much of it until after it happened. And I talked to Gerard, this isn’t your fault, you know.”

He raised an eyebrow. “What’s not my fault?”

“This whole rumor thing Daren started,” I said. “It’s not your fault that Daren was at the park-“

“Yes, but if I never offered to meet you at the park-“

“Then I never would have seen you smile.” I smiled a bit myself. “You didn’t know he was going to be there, it’s not your fault. Just, take a deep breath, and try to stop worrying. I really liked the care-free Mikey I saw at the park, you were- happy.”

He pulled me into him, and I hugged him back, breathing in his scent. I heard him take a breath like he was about to say something, but Mr. Hymn’s voice cut him off, asking us to hurry up and get on the stage.

\------------------------------------------

“Great rehearsal everyone, we’ve improved a lot, but we still have to work on a lot. Same time tomorrow. Kris, I’d like to speak with you for a second, the rest of you may pack up your instruments and go home.”

I walked over to the rhythm section, where Mikey was and handed him my saxophone. “Can you just lay this across my case? I’ll put it away later.”

“Sure.” He said, taking my instrument by the neck strap before I stopped him.

“No!’ I yelled, grabbing the instrument. “Sorry. Just  _don’t_  hold it like that. Hold it like  _this_.” I said, placing it in his hands.

“Ah, okay sorry.” He stuttered. “I-I’ll meet you outside.”

“Thanks.” I smiled, before turning around and following Mr. Hymn into his office. It was a small closet on the side of the auditorium that was painted a light blue color and called an office. It wasn’t very big at all, and couldn’t hold more than seven people.”

“Please, take a seat.” He gestured to the second office chair in his room. I sat down and folded my hands on my lap. Mr. Hymn was probably one of my favorite teachers, he actually cared about his students, unlike the majority of the teachers in this school. “You haven’t seemed like yourself these past few days. You’ve seemed upset. What’s up?”

I shook my head. “Nothing. Just stress-“

“You and I both know that’s a lie.” I didn’t respond, and he sighed. “There’s no point in lying to me, Kris. I know about the rumors.”

I ran a hand through my hair and slumped in my seat. “I shouldn’t let it get to me, but, it’s hard.”

He nodded. “May I ask what happened?”

I looked at the ground before speaking. “Well, there’s this guy who’s a family friend who lives in the next town over, but he lived here until like third grade. He used to tease me a lot, and I was relieved when he left. But I guess he got a hold of my mom and she tried to set us up for a date, he’s rich and loves his family, meanwhile he’s a complete ass and just wants to get in my pants. He forced me to kiss him and I keep telling him no, and now he’s sending me these texts and spreading these rumors until I say yes.”

He nodded as he took it all in, as if this was something that happened every day. I mean, with the number of boys who do all these things to girls because they say no, it is starting to become a problem. “What kind of texts?’

I sat up so I could pull my phone out of my pocket, opened up my conversation with him, and handed him my phone. “He’s calling me a slut, thot, whore, you name it.” I sighed.

“And you said he forced to kiss you?” He looked up.

I nodded. “He stood on my feet, because the first time he tried I kneed him, and was grabbing me and being kind of rough, and, yeah.”

He looked up at me again. “Why haven’t you told anyone the truth?”

I shrugged. “I’ve told my friends. If I told anyone else they probably wouldn’t believe me. Besides, it’s not really anyone else’s business-“

“Did you know that this counts as sexual harassment?” He shook the phone in his hand, and I remained silent, before sighing. “Tomorrow, or Thursday, I want you to come into school early, and meet me in my office, and we’ll take this to administration, okay? I don’t know how much that they’ll do because he goes to a different school in a different town, but they might be able to do something about the rumors. Don’t delete the texts, and I would screenshot them, too.”

I nodded and stood up. “Thank you,” I whispered.

He smiled and patted me on the back. “You’re an amazing musician and person. I’d hate to see you upset. Now run along, go find that Mikey boyfriend of yours-“

“He is not my boyfriend!” I turned around.

He laughed. “Whatever you say.” I groaned and climbed the stairs to where my saxophone was, rolling my eyes. Even the damn  _teachers_  thought I liked Mikey. Was it really that obvious? Did I really like him that much?

“Boo!” A pair of hands grabbed my sides, and I jumped and screamed, nearly dropping my mouthpiece.

“Jesus Christ, Mikey.” I turned around, taking off my ligature and reed. “Please don’t do that.”

“Sorry.” He smiled. “You’re just fun to scare.”

I blushed, and I couldn’t help but notice how he was smiling again, almost as much as he was in the park until he began smiling even more. “Well, are you just gonna stare at me, or put your saxophone away?”

I turned around. “R-right. Uh, yeah. I should d-do that.” I shut my eyes and mentally cursed myself for staring. It’s like I’m  _trying_ to embarrass myself and seem like a creep. I finished putting away my saxophone and grabbed my bag. “Right. Let’s go.”

“So what did Mr. Hymn want?” He asked as we were walking towards the doors that lead outside.

“He asked me about the rumors and stuff, and I told him what happened with Daren, and showed him the texts, too. He wants me to go to school early either tomorrow or Thursday and report it to administration.”

“That’s good.” He said, holding the door open for me.

“Yeah, he’s just not sure how much they’ll do, seeing as he’s at another school, but it does count as sexual harassment. I also have to figure out how I’m getting there since I don’t have my license or my permit yet, and my parents and Cassey aren’t going to drive me that early in the morning.”

“Gerard could drive you-“

“No, no, it’s fine-“

“No, really.” He cut me off. “Ask him tomorrow if you could go early on Thursday, and ask if I can come, because I saw you in the park and could count as a witness.”

I nodded, and began looking for my mom’s car, but couldn’t see it. I pulled out my phone, about to ask where she was when I received a text from her.

**_From: Mom_ **

_Sorry, can’t pick you up, Dad and I have meetings tonight and won’t be home until after midnight. Daren will be picking you up._

My head shot up, and there he was, leaning against the door of his red Corvette, swinging his keys around his index finger.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I mumbled, and Mikey’s head shot towards me, surprised by my language. “My mom made Daren pick me up. You go home, I’ll call Cassey asking her to pick me up-“

“I can drive you home if you’d like.” He said. “Well, Gerard would be driving. Or, you could come over to my house.”

I looked at him and smiled. “I’d like that.” We made our way to Gerard’s beat up Subaru and thankfully avoided the view of Daren as we put our stuff in the trunk.

“Why’s Kris here?” Gerard asked from the front seat.

“My mom made Daren pick me up.  There is no way in hell I’m getting in a car with him, so I’m going over to your house. Can you just drop me off at my house before nine or so?” I asked. “Oh, and what’s Frank doing here.” Mikey shut the trunk and we sat in the back seat, as Frank was in the passenger seat.

“Uh, we’re doing homework,” Frank said, and I gave him a smirk. “What?”

“Nothing.” I bit my lip. “Just homework? You’re not doing anything else?”

“Or anyone else?” Mikey asked, loud enough for Gerard and I to hear, but not loud enough to Frank.

Gerard started driving as he glared at his brother in the mirror. “Shut the hell up, Mikey.”

“What did he say?” Frank asked.

“Nothing,” Gerard mumbled.

\-------------------------------------------

“Thanks for the ride, Gerard. I’ll see you two tomorrow.” I said, grabbing my stuff from the seat next to me, as I didn’t bother putting it in the trunk.

“Bye Kris,” Mikey said, pulling me into a quick hug.

“See ya.” I gave a small wave before leaving the car, and hiking up the hill of a driveway to the front door of my house. I smiled to myself, remembering how much fun Mikey and I’d had together, we ended up painting each other’s faces with Gerard’s paint, which he wasn’t happy about. It took forever to get off, but I had managed to scrub all the blue off of my face, and Mikey had managed to scrub off the yellow. In reality, I had wanted to make green, but I didn’t say that, of course.

I went to unlock the front door, but it was already unlocked.  _Shit._ I thought.  _It’s only nine, did my parents come home early?_  I swung the door open and called into the house, hanging up my jacket. “Mom, Dad? Are you guys home?”

“Hello Kris, I’ve been waiting for you.” I spun around to see the last person on Earth who’d I wanted to see.

_Daren._


	12. Chapter 12

“D-Daren?” I stuttered as he slammed the door shut behind me, pressing his body against mine.

He smiled at me. “I’ve been waiting for you.” His warm breath hit my face, and despite its minty smell, it was repulsive.

“G-get out of my house.” I croaked. “I will-“

“You will do what?” He whispered leaning closer to me. He had his forearms pressed against the door on either side of my head, and his toes just crept over my shoes.

“I-I” I began but didn’t know what to say, as my lip quivered with every word I spoke.

He cocked his head to the side and grinned. “Exactly. You’re scared, you don’t know what to do.” He caressed the side of my face, and I froze, suddenly not able to move or say anything. “Relax, Kris. You know you want this.”

I didn’t say anything, and still frozen in place, he pressed his lips to mine. I finally snapped out of my daze and realized what was going on. I jerked my head to the side, breaking the kiss. He looked at me angrily.

“Please,” I begged. “Y-you’re a good person, I believe you. I believe you’ve changed. B-but I don’t want this. Please leave me alone.”

He gave me a confused look for a second, before crashing his lips onto mine again. He grabbed my wrists, hard, and dug his nails into them. I winced in pain, and he took this opportunity to pull me by the waist and lift me up, so I was now in his arms. I tried screaming, or moving away from the kiss, but he kept pushing his head forward, driving his tongue into my mouth, and it was a miracle that I hadn’t barfed yet.

He threw me down onto the couch in the living room, and as he did so, I rolled off, trying to get away. Instead, he grabbed me by the hair, pulling me back, causing me to scream and let tears form in my eyes.

“You’re gonna play rough?” He asked through gritted teeth, throwing me back onto the couch. “You’re gonna get it rough.”

He laid on top of me, pinning his arms above my head, this time digging his nails into my forearms rather than my wrists. He moved his arms so that he was pinning mine with only one hand, while using the other hand to trail down the side of my face, stopping at my chest.

I tried kneeing him, but nothing would work. I couldn’t kick, punch, knee, roll, or try any means of escape. I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t call for help, and I couldn’t tell him to stop. It was if I was locked inside a cage, and I wasn’t even inside my own body, I was on the outside looking in. I felt as if I were a ghost looking down upon myself, yet I still felt the pain that he inflicted. All I could do was begin to cry as he grabbed me in places that weren’t meant to be grabbed, and he was sure to leave bruises everywhere.

He finally moved his lips from my mouth and began to suck on my neck. “Please.” I cried. “Please stop.”

He looked up at me for a second, taking in my state. I had been silently crying for a few minutes now, and he hadn’t even done anything that bad. His face was sympathetic at first, and it gave me hope, thinking that he might go away. But instead, his face turned into one of anger, and he began to yell at me.

“You think this is a joke?” He screamed. “You think that you can fake cry, and act like a pathetic bitch? You think this will get you out of this?” He laughed. “No. Just remember, this is all your fault. You were the one who said no. You were the one who provoked me. You were the one who started this. All of this is  _your_  fault. You’ve been asking for it.”

And with that, he crashed his lips back onto mine, as I let what he said sink into my mind.  _He’s wrong, Kris. You did nothing wrong._  But at the same time, part of me wondered, what if I hadn’t said no? What if I just went on that stupid date? What if I just gave him what he wanted?

I felt his hand push down on my hip, driving it into the couch, and burying his fingernails that desperately needed a trim into them. He pushed his thumb underneath the waistline of my pants, and I began to squirm. He removed his hand from my waist and stopped kissing me for a second. I was relieved until I saw him bring back his hand, as I felt him bring it across my face, hard. I yelled out in pain, pushing my arms up against his other hand, causing him to push down on them harder.

“Pathetic.” He spat, and resumed what he was doing before. I didn’t know what to focus on, the stinging of my cheek, or the unbearable, now almost numb pain in my arms, or the pressure on my hip, or the fact that his hand was slowly inching his way down my pants. I continued to squeal or flinch, and every time I would do so, he would take his hand away from my hip and either repeatedly punch, slap, or scratch and claw me.

To my relief, I heard the garage door open. Daren instantly sprang up off of me, causing me to roll onto the floor. He kneeled beside me so that he was able to grab my wrists and lean in close enough so I could smell his repulsive breath.

“If you tell anyone about this, I  _will_  hurt Mikey.” He spat, and my heart sank. “And you and I both know that is a promise that I can keep.”

Before I could register what he had threatened, he was already out the door. I heard the garage door close, and I immediately sprinted up the stairs, his words on repeat in my mind.

_I will hurt Mikey._

_I will hurt Mikey._

_I will hurt Mikey. And you and I both know that is a promise that I can keep._

Those two sentences circled through my head, like the way crows would begin to circle a dead carcass. They flew round and round, never disappearing. They cawed and became redundant, turning into a chant that taunted me, making me feel as though I was in a nightmare.

I ran through my bedroom into my bathroom, slamming the door shut behind me and locking it. I pushed up my sleeves, which had fallen down since Daren had left. Fingernail marks lined my forearm, some deep enough to draw blood. The crescent-shaped marks were beginning to turn shades of purple and blue around them.

I turned on the sink and gasped when the stream of warm water hit the wounds. Reluctantly, I grabbed the soap, scrubbing the drying blood out of the cuts. It stung like a bitch, but if I didn’t clean them, I was paranoid that I would get an infection, and then I would  _have_ to tell someone. And no matter how much this escalated, I was  _never_ telling anyone.

If it were anyone else, then I would. But this is Daren, and he never broke a promise, and was completely capable of hurting Mikey. I don’t know what it was, but something about Mikey made me want to protect him with my life. Maybe it was the way he stumbled on his words, and was shy and awkward. Or it could be all that he’s suffered through in the past. Or maybe it was the fact that I think I was falling in love with him.

No. I couldn’t love him, he’d never see me as more than a friend. This was just a stupid crush that would eventually blow over. Nothing more.

I tried to push my thoughts of Mikey aside as I wrapped the small cuts up with a gauze, as there were far too many to cover with just a series of Band-Aids. It was hard to keep Mikey out of my mind, it seemed as if everything I said or did reminded me of him. No matter where we were, thoughts of him still lingered in my mind. Everything related back to him. However, my thoughts of him were pushed aside even further when I slightly lifted up the left side of my shirt. Blood was trailing down my hip, creating a river of crimson red that flowed over the purple hand shaped mark that seemed to grow by the second. I bit my lip and looked away, made uneasy by the sight of the blood.

After finally washing off the blood, I suddenly felt a wave of filth wash over me. He had touched me in places that were never meant to be touched, at least not unless it’s by someone who you truly loved, and even then, they wouldn’t have hurt you in the way that he did. I looked up at the mirror, seeing the red hand mark on my face, tears forming in my eyes. Daren was right, I was pathetic. I couldn’t even handle someone kissing me, and that’s the whole reason that it had begun to escalate to this. It was all my fault, if I had just given him what he had wanted, none of this would have happened.

I immediately ripped off my clothes and tore the gauze off my arms, throwing it in the sink for later. I jumped in the shower, grabbed the soap, and just began to scrub. I ignored the burning in my arms and hip, it almost felt,  _right._  It was a reminder that I should have just given in.

 _Shut the hell up, Kris._ None of this was my fault. This was all Daren’s.  _He_ was the one who did this to me. I wasn’t asking for it, he forced this on me,

_Maybe you should have just given him what he wanted._

I ignored the conflicting thoughts in my head, just continued to scrub. And scrub, and scrub. It was as if I had scrubbed hard enough, that all traces of him would be gone. But I still felt filthy, and the fingernail shaped marks on my skin and the bruises that he had left were proof that he was here, and he always would be.

I slammed the knob of the shower down, Just standing there in the shower, not wanting to move. I hadn’t realized that I had been crying until the water had shut off. Without the water streaming down my face to mask them, I could easily feel the tears cascading down my cheeks, pulling the mascara with them, staining my cheeks black while causing my eyes to be puffy and red

_This is all your fault._

_No it’s not, I wasn’t “asking for it”._

_But why else would he have done this?_

_Because-_

_Because you’re a slut. A whore. Nothing more._

“Shut up!” I yelled, sinking to the floor of the shower, grabbing the sides of my head.  _You’re pathetic, all he did was kiss you and maybe leave a few marks. So what? Grow up._

I jumped up out of the shower, trying to ignore the thoughts that flung back and forth in my mind. It was if a war was going on, where one side was telling me this was all my fault, while to other claimed it was Daren’s. And it was Daren’s, it had to be. I couldn’t possibly be at blame for this,  _right?_

After wrapping myself back up in gauze, I went into my room, slipping on pajamas. I turned on the CD player, letting the sound of Anthrax bounce of the walls. I laid on my bed, and let the music sing me to sleep.

\-------------------------------------

“Are you okay, Kris?” Gerard asked as we were sitting in Pre-calc, studying for our upcoming test. It had been three weeks since the incident with Daren. I hadn’t told anyone about it since. I lied to Mikey and said that my mom had found out and that she made sure that I was never to come into contact with Daren again. I had told Mr. Hymn the same thing, and he had actually believed me. I don’t think I could have pulled off lying to them, as well as my friends, but I did. The rumors had also died down, giving me relief at school.

But at home, I never found that relief. My parents would go out every night, whether it be for work, or to meet up with friends, it didn’t matter, but they left the house. This meant that Daren was allowed to do whatever he pleased.

Nothing with Daren had stopped. In fact, things had escalated since then. We had never really  _done it_ , but he had put his hands places that were far worse than just resting on my chest. It made me feel sick inside whenever I thought about it. He had touched, and was the first one to ever do so. I feared that it would escalate further from there, and I don’t know what I would do if it did.

He had also become more violent, too. I had begun to wear more makeup than just my daily mascara to cover the constant bruises and red marks on my face. I only wore long sleeved sweaters, along with scarves, to hide my neck and arms. I could get away with it, as even though was mid-March, there was still several feet of snow on the ground. But keeping them out of sight didn’t necessarily keep them out of mind. The scratches and fingernail marks burned whenever my sleeves had rubbed against them, and the bruises hurt like hell whenever someone did so much as poke them.

“Uh, yeah, just thinking about the jazz band trip, it’s in a week and a half,” I admitted. “I’m really nervous.”

I had lied. It was so much more. My thighs were throbbing from the bruises that his fingerprints had left. The pain spread throughout my entire body, it wasn’t just restricted to my legs. My head suffered from a constant dull ache that never went away. My forearms were always in agonizing pain, no matter how many times I had tried to numb them with countless bags of ice. My limbs constantly felt heavy, my mind always in another place. It never seemed to be here on Earth, it seemed to be in a better place, where Daren had never existed, and I could lead a happy, painless life. But that wasn’t possible, as everyone had to have setbacks at one time or another, causing them pain, whether it be emotional or physical. For me, it was both, and I didn’t know what was going on. But there was one thing that I did know, I was  _not_ okay.

He raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure that’s it?”

“I’m okay.” I nodded. “Trust me.”

“You promise?” He asked.

I bit my lip and nodded again. “Promise. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.” I got up and left the room, as Mr. Alexander didn’t care if you took a pass or not.

Instead of going to the bathroom, however, I made my way to my usual spot under the bleachers, and pulled out the single spare cigarette and lighter that I always kept in my pocket. I had only been smoking for not even a month, and I knew it was bad. It could fuck me up so badly, and it just felt so wrong. Yet it felt  _so right_. The way that the nicotine would fill my lungs, and made me forget about everything that was going on, even if it were just for a little while. At first, when I saw people smoking on the streets, I would be disgusted. I used to wonder how people could do that to their bodies, how they could destroy it from the inside. But those people were already broken on the inside, and if were anything like me, they destroyed their bodies to forget about how it was destroying them.

I held the cigarette between my teeth, lighting it up with the lighter and took a drag, leaning my head back against the brick building. I played with the wheel of the lighter, watching it spark, and every now and then, briefly burn.

It was a lot like life, about how it would spark and fade. There are those certain moments in life that flare up and spark. Those are the memories that you would remember for a lifetime, either good or bad. Sometimes they would grow into more and burn. Some things burned brighter than others. But if you weren’t careful, the flames could burn you. They would eat you up, and swallow you whole.

And I had already let the flames begin.


	13. Chapter 13

"You got an extra one?" I heard a voice, Frank's, from beside me. He plopped down next to me, putting his back against the brick.

I shook my head. "Pack's in my backpack. I always keep a spare in my pocket, but this is my spare."

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Dammit-" I rolled my eyes and held out my hand, offering my cigarette to him. "Kris." He said sternly, and I looked at him, confused about his sudden mood change. He pushed up my sleeve and I winced as his hand grazed over a fresh bruise, and I yanked my arm back.

"Kris." He pleaded. "What happened?"

"N-Nothing, I j-just fell-"

"You and I both know that's complete bullshit." He cut me off. "Now, I'll ask again. What happened?"

"I-I told you, I-I just f-fell." I refused to make eye contact with him.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with Daren, would it?" He asked, and I went silent, as I had nothing to say. His voice lowered to a sympathetic whisper. "Kris, what was he been doing to you?"

I shook my head, as tears began to sting my eyes. I tried to speak, but I kept choking on my words. Finally, I took a deep breath. "He c-comes to my house ev-very day. H-he's never done  _it_ , but he h-has touched m-me, and-" I trailed off.

"And he's very physical?" Frank guessed, and I nodded. He sighed and threw his head in his hands for a brief second, before looking back up. "How long has this been going on?"

I squeezed my eyes shut, afraid of his reaction, as I already knew what it was. "A f-few weeks."

He gasped. "Why didn't you tell anyone, you've got to tell someone-'

"I told you, didn't I?" I almost shouted, running a hand through my hair. "God, I shouldn't have t-told you-"

"Kris, you've got to tell someone else-"

"No!" I cried, turning to stare him in the eyes. "I can't! H-he said if I did, then he'd hurt Mikey. H-he never breaks a promise, and h-he's completely capable of d-doing it."

Frank rested his hand on my shoulder, but pulled it away after I had immediately winced. "Why not try an anonymous hotline?" He asked, and I remained silent.  _Why the hell didn't I think of this? Wow Kris, you're fucking stupid._ He sighed. "Just  _please_  tell someone, Kris."

I drove the toe of my foot into the ground, taking another puff of my cigarette. "Why do you even care?"

He lightly rested his hand on my shoulder, careful not to push down in case there were any bruises there. "Because I do, Kris. You're my friend." He sighed and gave me a hug. It was soft, and gentle, as he was afraid to hold me tight in fear of hurting me. However, it was a genuine hug, the type you get from your best friend when they haven't seen you in a while. I buried my face in his shoulder and smiled, as a weight was lifted off my shoulders after I told someone, someone who cares.

"I've got to go, I'll see you at lunch." He said, and ruffled my hair a bit once he stood up, in a fatherly way. I smiled, and he went back inside, and I took another drag from my cigarette. I wiped away the remains of the tears from under my eyelids, and was about to take another puff when a voice startled me.

"Kris?"

I heard the voice and immediately snapped my head away from it. I could recognize the voice from anywhere. Mikey.

"I know that's you, Kris. You're the only one in this school whose hair is half pink." I quickly extinguished my cigarette on the sidewalk, before turning to face him and stood up.

"Shouldn't you be in class?" I folded my arms and raised an eyebrow.

"Gerard texted me saying you had been gone for a while, I was worried. I-I'd thought I'd find you here." He said.

I shrugged. "Well I'm fine-"

He cut me off. "Have you been smoking?"

"No-"

"Don't lie to me Kris." I remained silent. He buried his face in his hands for a moment, before looking at me, his face full of concern. "How long?"

I sighed. "About a month-"

"Give me them. Now." He stuck out his head, and I shook my head.

"They're in my backpack. And it's not that bad-"

"Not that bad? It can kill you!" He yelled, throwing his hands in the hair. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell. But I've seen Gerard go through this. It starts out where you smoke to feel good, then it makes you feel numb, but then it leads to nowhere. You're addicted to the thing that's killing you. Gerard tried to use them to stop his depression, and it didn't work. Now he lives off of them.  _Please_ stop Kris, before it gets too late."

"I-"

"I saw Gerard do it, I can't stand to see you do it too." He took a step forward and gently grabbed my arm. However, the action still caused a searing pain to shoot through my arm, and he pushed up my sleeve. "D-did Daren-"

I pushed passed him. "I've got to go." I took off, leaving him to stand behind me, calling out my name.

\------------------------------

"Daren! P-please, stop!" I cried.

"Shut up!" He yelled, grabbing me by the shoulders and throwing me into the wall. I whimpered in pain, as every single bruise, cut, and scar on my body was now throbbing. He began to kick me repeatedly in the ribs. "You think you can just say no? I-"

He was cut off when someone grabbed him from behind, and threw him against the opposite wall of the entryway hallway. I couldn't make out who it was, as my vision was clouded with tears, and it was hard to open them with a black eye. However, I was able to make out the fact that the figure was a man.

The man pushed his arm against Derek's neck, and pulled out a gun and pressed it to the side of his head. "You stay the fuck away from my daughter, or else we've got a problem, alright?" Derek furiously nodded. "Now get out of my house before I call the police." He released Daren, who immediately fell to the ground. He scrambled back up to his feet and looked at my father like a deer stuck in headlights. He whipped his head around and fled the house, and my Dad knelt beside me.

"Kris, are you alright?" He asked, and I nodded, sitting up. He lifted me up into his arms, something that he hadn't done in almost ten years. I pressed my face into the crook of his neck, my tears staining his shirt, as he carried me up the three flights of stairs into my room, and laid me softly on the bed. He left momentarily and returned with a bottle of water and an ibuprofen.

"Thanks," I mumbled, taking the pill and sitting up in bed.

He sat on the edge of my bed and sighed. "What happened, Kris? Start from the beginning, tell me everything."

I looked down. "Well, that was Daren, remember him? He used to be our neighbor-"

"Ya know, I never really liked his parents." He interrupted. "Sorry. Go on."

I sighed. "Well, back in elementary school, he'd tease me and stuff. Put gum in my hair, call me names, wouldn't share with me, stupid kid stuff, until he moved away. Then, for Valentine's Day, Mom tried to put me on a date with him. I ended up fainting when I found out." I chuckled, as did he. But then I turned serious again. "The, one day, I went to the park, and I guess Mom called him and told him that I was there. And h-he kissed me, but he was forceful about it, even though I said no. My friend Mikey came and was there to punch him-"

"Is this the Mikey that you have a crush on?" My Dad smirked.

"I do not-"

"I wasn't born yesterday, Kris. And these walls aren't thin, I can hear your phone calls with Cassey." He smirked as my face turned red, but his smirk soon fell. "When did things get, violent?"

"Well, a few days after, he went and told everyone in my school that I was a slut, and then there were rumors and stuff, but they went away. But about three weeks ago, when he was supposed to pick me up from jazz band for the first time, I wouldn't get in the car with him, I went to Gerard's and Mikey's. A-and when I g-got home, that's when it started." I remained silent after I had finished.

"What started?" I just shook my head. "Listen, Kris, you can trust me, I'm your father. I'm not like your mother." He gave me a weak smile.

"He t-threw me around and stuff, a-and he really only kissed me and k-kinda put his hands down my pants. But it escalated from there. H-he later would  _touch_ me  _there_. A-and he would throw things at m-me and call me pathetic and-" I hadn't realized that tears were streaming down my face.

He reached for my hand. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I couldn't." I shook my head. "He s-said he'd hurt Mikey if he did, A-and I knew he'd keep to that promise. I didn't tell anyone, b-but my friend Frank found out today."

"It's okay, honey. We'll find you some help. We'll go to the police-"

"But he'll find out!" I exclaimed. "I can't let him hurt Mikey-"

"But if you don't do anything, he'll continue to hurt you." He said. "I know you've always put others before yourself, and that's a great quality to have, but you  _have_  to put yourself first in situations like these."

I nodded as he pulled me in for a soft hug. "Thanks, Dad."

He pulled away and gave me a weak smile. "Now, get some rest, I'll talk to your mother about this when she gets home."

\-----------------------------

I woke to the sound of the crashing of pans from three floors below. I crept to my door and opened it, eavesdropping on my parents whose voices rose by the second. I couldn't make out what they were saying until I was about to close my door when I heard my father yell.

"Your daughter almost got raped and you're justifying his actions because his parents are rich?" He screamed. "I can't believe you!"

"I-"

"Don't you start with me, Gina." I could almost imagine him pointing his finger.

"But-"

"No. I can't believe you. I'm not talking to you for the rest of the night. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be taking our daughter out for dinner tonight, without you."

I could hear his feet start up the stairs, and I quickly and quietly closed my door before scrambling to my bed. I made it just in time for him to softly knock on my door before opening it. "How much of that did you hear?" He asked, running a hand through his balding hair.

I shrugged. "From 'your daughter almost got raped' and on."

He sighed and shook his head. "Hey, I'm really sorry about your Mom. She-"

"I know Dad." I scoffed. "Can we go get dinner now?"

He nodded. "Come get in the car. You can bring a CD if you want." I nodded excitedly and smiled as I bounced over to my CD player. I grabbed  _A Night At The Opera_ by Queen and my dad laughed.

"I always knew you'd be the Queen type." He said, taking my arm as he walked me down the stairs, giving my mother a death glare as we walked past her to the garage. We got in the car and I popped in the CD, as my dad immediately skipped to Bohemian Rhapsody.

"No!" I yelled, setting the record back to the beginning. "You have to listen to it as a whole!"

He laughed, backing out of the driveway. "God, you are  _so_ my child. Now where to? Do you want Japenese or Italian?" He asked, referring to the only two restaurants in town.

I rolled my eyes. "Japanese, obviously. We have Italian every night."

"Japanese it is then." He nodded. We sat in silence before he spoke up again. "I'm sorry that this all happened. From now on I'll be sure to pick you up after school, I'll get off early from work to-"

I sighed. "Dad, you don't have to risk your job for me. I can go over to Mikey's-"

"Your safety is my top priority. It always has been, and it always has been." He said, softly placing a hand on my knee. "I'm sorry I let this happen."

"It's not your fault, Dad-"

"But I could have stopped it!" He let go of my knee and pounded it on the steering wheel. "I hate this Daren kid. To think that someone could do this to  _my_  daughter, or anyone for that matter _-"_

"Dad-"

"I'm sorry about your mom. I love her, but she can be so ignorant-"

"I get it Dad!" I finally cut him off. "I live with her too."

He sighed. "Right. Sorry, well we're here. Let's enjoy this time alone. Shall we?"


	14. Chapter 14

"What do you mean he's  _abusing_  her?"

"How is he not? Do you see the bruises covering every square inch of her skin? Do you not notice how she flinches every time someone even just taps her?"

"Well, that could mean something else! Maybe she's just clumsy and falls a lot-"

"Or maybe she's being  _beaten_ daily by that guy!"

"Well what if she's asking-"

"Finish that sentence and I swear to God-"

I couldn't take it anymore. It was 11 at night, and I had woken up for the third time now because my parents were arguing  _again_ , for the third time today _._  The first time it was about how my Mom wouldn't believe Daren would do such a thing. Then, my Mom refused to let my Dad take me to the police. Now, my Mom was in denial  _again._  And this is just today, this has been a recurring theme throughout the week. And it was all because of  _me._ It was all  _my fault._

**_To: Mikey <3_ **

_Are you awake?_

I groaned in frustration and threw my phone on my lap, and let my head fall back against the pillow. If only I had told someone sooner. Then this could all have been dealt with earlier, and I wouldn't be stressing out about this just days before the jazz band competition.

**_From: Mikey <3_ **

_Yeah. What's wrong? You're always asleep before 9:30._

I gave a slight smile that hardly even reached my cheeks because he knew me so well, but I just couldn't smile right now.

**_To: Mikey <3_ **

_I just need to talk to you. Can I meet you somewhere? Or is it too late, would you rather me call?_

**_From: Mikey <3_ **

_Of course I can meet you. Treehouse?_

**_To: Mikey <3_ **

_Sure. I'll bring blankets and pillow. You don't need anything really._

I sighed in relief when he agreed, he would just have to pester his brother into driving him. He replied saying he'd leave his school stuff in his brother's car, and that he'd be over in ten minutes. I threw off my covers and stuffed as many pillows as I could into a blanket, and continued to wrap it up in blankets until I had about 6 pillows cocooned in 3 blankets. I had opened the window, and now, I just had to figure out how I was going to escape it and climb the tree with them in hand.

**_From: Mikey <3_ **

_Need a hand?_

I was confused for a second until I saw him waving in the darkness below. I smiled as my heart skipped a beat, him smiling back.

"Just climb up there," I called just loud enough for him to hear, but not loud enough for my parents to hear, as I pointed to the treehouse. I eventually managed to hold the bundle of blankets and pillows with one hand, tossed against my shoulders, as I balanced on the tree limb. As I neared the treehouse, Mikey grabbed my waist, and I winced as his hands grazed over bruises that were still healing as he pulled me in the window.

"Hey," I whispered, tossing the blankets on the ground. He knelt down and helped me shove them in the corner, leaving the warmest blanket for us to lay under, rather than on top of. Soon, we had a comfortable and warm fort of pillows and blankets made.

"So," he began, once we had settled into our mess of pillows. We were lying next to each other, with my head on his stomach. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"My parents are fighting." I sighed, as I moved my head from his stomach so I could see his face better, despite the darkness of the night. "Again."

He turned on his side and propped up his head with his arm. "Again? When did they start fighting?"

I shook my head. "It's all my fault-"

"I'm sure it's not, Kris." He cut me off. "Start from the beginning."

I looked at his face, and almost immediately looked away. I felt a pang of guilt twist my stomach. Why hadn't I told him as soon as it happened? He's my best friend, I should be telling him anything and everything. But I didn't, because I was being naïve, thinking that Daren would actually get to Mikey if I told him, even though we wouldn't have been able to do anything from jail.

"Kris-"

I shook my head again. "Sorry." My voice cracked, and I sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. Things with Daren, they, well, they never really stopped."

His face immediately fell. "What?"

"I never told my mom. He continued to do this every day for two and a half weeks. Over two  _goddamned_ weeks. Finally, my Dad walked in while he was hurting me. He threatened Daren with his pistol, and Daren was so scared I think he shit himself, and we never saw him again. Now, my Dad's trying to go to the police, but my Mom refuses because she's being a fucking asshole who can't open her goddamn eyes to the fact that the son of the man she's having an affair with is abusing her only child!"

I hadn't realized that I had raised my voice until I was met with the deafening silence that was present when Mikey didn't respond. He just stared at me with his mouth open.

"I'm sorry I've been pushing you away. I didn't want to. I would have told you, Mikey. I would never keep a secret from you, but he threatened to hurt you. He said he would hurt you if anyone found out. And he's perfectly capable of doing so, and I just care  _so_ much about you and I didn't want you getting hurt because of me."

Mikey immediately hugged me and grazed his thumbs over my cheeks, wiping away my tears. My breathing hitched as I realized how close his face was to mine, as his brown eyes stared into mine.

"I will  _always_ put your safety above mine.  _Always._ " He said, and I buried my face in his shoulder. We stayed like that for what must have seemed forever. I kept my face buried in his hoodie that was soaked with the tears that were slowly leaking from my eyes. He continued to whisper things in my ear to comfort me, as I nodded my head and he rubbed small circles on my back. When I finally had pulled myself together, I lifted my head from his shoulder. I almost completely fell apart again when butterflies ruptured my stomach as I realized I had been practically cuddling with my crush.

"Here." He said, pulling out a small flimsy cardboard package from his back pocket. "It's nicotine gum. You're probably stressed and want a cigarette, but this is  _so_ much better for you."

I gave a small smile and accepted the stick of gum. "Thank you." I laid on my back and crossed my hands over my stomach, and Mikey did the same.

"Wow." He said, and all I did was nod.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I turned over to look at him, but his eyes were glued to the sky. I followed his gaze out of the hole in the top of the treehouse, to the night sky. It wasn't your typical pitch-black midnight sky lit up by the moon and maybe a few stars and an airplane. No, it was rather lit up by God knows who many stars, that made the sky look like an entire galaxy. Like the Milky Way.

"Has anyone ever called you Milky Way?" I blurted out.

He turned over to me. "Gerard has a couple times, not really though. Why?"

I blushed. "Because you're sweet."

He laughed and rolled back over. "Cheesy. I like it." He turned his attention back to the sky. "There's just so many stars. It's beautiful. There was never this in Jersey. I mean, on a clear summer night, there would be a few. But we were so close to Newark and New York that I've never seen something like this, just,  _wow._ "

I giggled. "It looks like something from Pinterest or Tumblr or something."

He smiled and shook his head. "My God, you're a white girl at heart." I nodded and yawned, as I rolled over to face him. "You should go to sleep."

"I'm not tired" I yawned.

He smirked and fumbled around for a minute for his phone. He squinted as it lit up, and checked the time. "It's almost midnight. We have to be at school early tomorrow."

I turned over into my pillow. "Don't remind me," I mumbled.

"Goodnight."

"Mhm. G'night."

And just as I was about to drift into unconsciousness, I felt his arms slip around my waist, as he assumed I was asleep. I felt him press his lips to my temple, and I was glad it was dark so that he couldn't see my blush and know I was awake. "Sweet dreams, Kris."

\----------------------------------------------

"But what if I mess up? What if I break my reed walking to the stage and I can't play my solo-"

"Kris." Mikey squeezed my hand. "You'll do fine."

"But-"

"You're the best player-"

"But-"

"Kris, shut up."

"But-"

"Forrest! Please tell Kris she'll do fine."

Forrest came over and laughed, as he patted me on the back. "Break a leg."

Mikey rolled his eyes and grabbed his bass guitar. We were just about to go on stage for our music in the parks performance. We were performing at a high school not too far from six flags, and then later, we would go to the park and ride rides and shit. (Not literally. I mean, the park had bathrooms- but that's beside the point) We would eat and get our awards, and then ride another ride or two before the four or five hour bus ride back to Blackmont. 

We made our way to the stage, Mikey giving my hand one last reassuring squeeze before sitting by the rhythm section. I sat on my chair and adjusting my black skirt, before checking to make sure my reed didn't break. Thank God.

I looked up from my music to see Mr. Hymn walk over to the podium. My heart began thumping in my chest as the stage lights made my forehead start to sweat. I sat up in my seat as I saw him raise his baton, all while my heart was racing at a million miles an hour.

He moved his hand in four quick motions, and we began.


	15. Chapter 15

My heart was still pumping out of my chest, even though our performance was over half an hour ago. Performing always had a different effect on me than playing did. Both made my heart rate go up, but for different reasons. Playing the music made me feel  _alive._ The music took over my body and made me feel a way that I couldn't attempt to describe with words. However, performing was another story. I would always get nervous, not knowing how others would interpret the music. Especially when you mess up.

"Kris, calm the fuck down." Forrest said. "Relax, have some fun. Enjoy yourself-"

"I can't!" I yelled. "You can't expect me to just  _calm down_  by dragging me on roller coasters, and try to make me forget about the competition-"

"You can't change what happened. And you did great-"

"I did not do great! I messed up that one part in my solo! I played a dotted quarter-eighth note instead of two eighth notes!"

"Kris!" Mikey shouted. I immediately shut my mouth, as Mikey never yelled. When he did, it kind of scared me. He lowered his voice. " _Please_ , just try to relax for the next hour and a half. I'm allowing you to freak out for the half hour of the awards ceremony, but until then, just  _shut up._ "

I sighed. "Okay." I continued following Forrest and Mikey, trailing behind a bit, with my hands in my pockets.

_You messed up. You always do._

Even though he had been absent from my life for nearly a week, Daren was never absent from my mind. He was always there. His words echoed through my mind day after day. They bounced around my head endlessly, like a broken record. They would repeat and repeat and never stop. They never lost energy, but they often drained me of mine. I could never get any sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I seemed to be face to face with his.

_Why can't you do anything right?_

I felt a hand being placed on my shoulder, and I immediately jumped. My eyes darted around and my breathing became irregular, but soon slowed down when I realized it was only Mikey.

"Kris, are you alright? I'm sorry if I was harsh on you, I didn't mean to. I just don't like seeing you upset-"

I just immediately flung myself into his arms and buried my head in the crook of his neck. I didn't mean to, but it just happened. I could feel his t-shirt slowly getting wet from my tears before I had even realized that I was crying.

"Okay, you're not okay. Okay, c'mon, l-let's go over to the picnic a-area." I nodded into his chest as he spoke. I reluctantly let go, but he kept an arm protectively draped over my shoulder. Forrest kept shooting me weird glances, not knowing what was going on in my head.

We sat down at the picnic table and I tried to talk, but it came out as a pathetic sob. "Make it stop." I whimpered.

Forrest and Mikey shared a nervous, worried glance. "Kris," Mikey began slowly. "Calm down-"

_Kris, calm down. Stop resisting, it'll make it worse-"_

"No!' I screamed, putting my hands over my ears. "Stop! Please!" Forrest and Mikey both scooted closer to me, resting a hand on either shoulder. I shook my shoulders to fling them away. "Don't touch me!"

"We can't help you if we don't know what's going on!" Forrest shouted. Others were giving us weird glances by now, but I couldn't see them, as my eyes were squeezed shut.

I let out a long breath and lowered my voice. "Just make it stop," I whispered.

"Make what stop?"

"Everything," I said. "The voices, the feelings, the paranoia, the flashbacks, the insomnia, my parents, just make it stop!"

_***Mikey's POV*** _

I fumbled around in my pocket for my phone and whipped it out. I called Gerard, as he would know what to say in a situation like this. Me, I'm just Mikey Way. I'm awkward, stutter a lot, and I'm not really for helping people. Kris was different. At first I couldn't put my thumb on it. But now it was obvious. I was falling in love with her. I would give her the world if she needed it.

"What now Mikey?" I heard my brother's voice snap at me from the other end.

"It's Kris, she's, I don't know what's happening! But I feel like you could help."

He sighed. "Put her on the phone."

I did what he asked and watched Kris attempting to calm down due to Gerard's advice. How was it that she always turned to Gerard? Gerard this, Gerard that. It's always Gerard. It's never me, I'm just his dorky, younger brother, who everyone picks on. They'd all much rather be with him than me.

I mean, I thought Kris was different. She would call me at 11 at night just to talk to me. But she called Gerard almost even more than me. She would end up telling Gerard what she told me, but She would  _never_  tell me what she told him.

I walked over to Forrest. "Hey." I nudged him with my elbow. "Does Kris like anyone?"

His head snapped to me. "I, uh, I'm not really allowed to tell you."

"So she does?"

He sighed. "Yes, but don't tell her I told you-"

"Who is it?" I cut him off.

"Uh-"

"Do I know him?"

He nodded. "Yes. Yes you do. I'm not answering any more questions, Kris will kick my ass if I did."

I groaned in frustration.  _How come no one tells me anything?_

I felt Kris poke me with my phone. I took it from her and shoved it in my pocket, not liking her in the eye.

"Hey." I heard the sympathy in her voice, and I had to look up.

"Sorry, I'm just- no. I'm fine. Forget it."

"Mikey." She placed a hand on my shoulder, and I shrugged it off.

"No." I sighed. "Let's just go on the rapid river or some shit."

\-----------------

\-----------------

_***Kris's POV*** _

"Can I  _please_  get the window seat? Pretty please?" Mikey begged. We were walking back from the park, with him holding our first place trophy, and with me holding my soloist trophy.

I sighed, not being able to resist his failed attempt at puppy dog eyes. "Fine."

He gave a small smile as he stepped on to the bus. "Thanks, Kris." He handed Forrest our trophy. "Here, I'm going to sleep. You take it."

"No, don't go to sleep," I whined. "You'll leave me alone with  _this_  loser." I pointed over my shoulder to Forrest.

"Hey!" He called from behind me. "You're a total bitch sometimes, Kris."

"Bite me." We took our seats towards the back of the bus. We had coach busses so that we could put our instruments (including the drum set) in the storage area under the bus. We were all grateful that we had comfortable seats for the long bus ride.

"I'm going to sleep-"

"No!" I whined as I shook his shoulders. "Don't fall asleep on me."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm tired." He mumbled, curling up in his seat.

I saw the droopy look in his eyes and took off my sweatshirt, handing it to him. "Here."

"Why? I already have one on-"

"Use it as a pillow or a blanket or something. Trust me, you'll sleep better."

He looked at me for a minute, with some strand of thoughts running through his eyes. I had no idea what it was until I thought he was reaching for the sweatshirt, but really let his hand graze over my arm.

I looked to see what he was doing and noticed he was looking at my fading bruises. "They're going away." He whispered.

I just nodded my head in response.

"Is he gone? I mean, has he stopped? For real?"

"I hope so." I sighed. "I told you about my dad catching him, I just hope he doesn't come back or something. I'm afraid he's going to come back and hurt me again, or hurt someone else. I just- I don't want anyone getting hurt because of something that I did-"

He wrapped me in a hug. "It's going to be okay, Kris. Nothing is your fault."

I nodded and pulled away. "Thank you. For everything."

He gave a small smile. "Anytime." He finally took the sweatshirt from my hands. "Now, if you don't mind, I'll be going to sleep."

"Sleep well, Mikey."


	16. Chapter 16

_***Kris's POV*** _

There was one thing and one thing only that was running through my mind right now.

Mikey.

I watched as he sat beside me, curled up into a ball. His head was lying on my balled up sweatshirt so that his head wouldn't be bashed into the glass window of the bus every two seconds.

This is going to sound like the most stalker-ish thing ever, but I wouldn't stop staring at him. I couldn't stop staring at the way his hair fell into his eyes. I couldn't stop staring at his eyes that were darting back and forth under his eyelids as he slept. I couldn't stop staring at his lips that were parted just enough to allow his deep breaths to escape.

If you asked me to describe my dream guy a few months ago, I would probably describe some random guy out of a magazine. But I've come to realize that Mikey is the only guy that I could ever want.

And I was so hopelessly falling in love with him.

Except he'd never love me back. I was just me, just plain old Kris. I was nothing special. I was you goody two shoes rich white girl, with a perfect family (well, perfect until recently). I've pulled him into so much shit and I would be surprised if he didn't hate me for it.

Meanwhile he was Mikey. I couldn't find a single flaw in him. The closest thing that I could find was his awkwardness, which is the most adorable thing ever. Or his small smiles that would give me butterflies every time I even pictured it.

Oh, who am I kidding? Mikey Way is the very definition of a perfect human being.

People say that you can't find love at 16 or 17. But I tell them to go screw themselves. Love is a beautiful thing, and can happen to anyone, at any time, with anyone. Everyone has the capability to love. And everyone has the capability to be loved. We might not always believe it, and we sometimes try to hide it. But it eventually all comes out.

I felt a tap on my shoulder and I nearly jumped and fell into the aisle.

"What do you want, Forrest?" I hissed.

He put his hands up in defense. "Woah. Calm your tits." He put them down and then mumbled, "or lack thereof."

I gasped and smacked him across the arm. "Did you just call me flat?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

I looked down briefly. "Well, I can't argue against that."

"Anyway," He chuckled. "I can't help but notice you keep staring at him."

I felt my cheeks heat up. "I was not-"

"Cut the crap, Kris." He shook his head. "It's so obvious."

"Is it really?"

He nodded.

"Do you think he knows?"

He shook his head and I let out a sigh of relief. "No. He's oblivious to the fact that you love him."

"I don't  _love-"_

"Yes you do."

"I don't-"

"Yes."

I threw my hands up. "Almost! I almost am, okay? I'm on the edge of falling madly crazily and hopelessly in love with him. I'm on the edge of a cliff and I'm about to fall off. And I'm scared, Forrest."

He lowered his voice down to a whisper. "Why?"

"I'm scared of getting hurt."

He shook his head yet again. "Kris, I can see the way that you look at him, and he looks at you the same way."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. You're his best friend. And although I've been friends with you for years, you've grown closer to him than you have to me."

I shook my head. "Still."

"Just go for it, Kris!" He raised his voice to a normal level again. "Right now, nothing's happening between you two. And it will stay like that. You and I both know he's not the type to make the first move."

"True."

"Then do it! And if you go for it, and he rejects you, then you're in the same situation you are in now-"

"You know, you say all of this, but you can't do it yourself." I snap.

"What-"

"Cassey."

His eyes fell to the floor. "Right. That."

I rolled my eyes. "If I  _go for it_ , then you have to do the same with her."

"But-"

"Butts are for sex."

He burst out laughing and completely ruined the moment. Well, I guess I did with my comment, but that's whatever.

"Anyways," he began. "Just like make out with him or something."

I shook my head. "I can't just do that."

"Why not?"

I sighed. "Look, he's the nicest person I know. Heck, he's even perfect. But I'm scared that if we do anything, then all I'm going to see is  _him._ "

He nodded. "Right. Well, if that happens, go to me. Or, go to his brother. You two are great friends, too."

"Right. Okay."

He yawned and patted me on the back. "Great talk Kris. I'm going to sleep now. Goodnight."

"Wow. Okay. Bye."

"Bye."

_***Mikey's POV*** _

I felt a sudden movement to my left, and nearly jolted awake. I didn't bother opening my eyes, as I knew that if I did it once, then I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep. I nudged my head into my makeshift pillow and tried to fall back into my dream.

"What do you want, Forrest?" I heard Kris say from next to me.

"Woah. Calm your tits." He mumbled something else, but I couldn't make out what it was. I could only hear Kris gasp.

"Did you just call me flat?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I can't argue against that."

I almost chuckled at Kris's comment but then I realized that she thought I was asleep. Right. Sleeping people don't laugh. Get with it, Mikey.

I tuned back into their conversation. I almost felt guilty about doing so, but hey, we were on a public bus.

No. He's oblivious to the fact that you love him." Forrest said.

Woah. Back it up. Kris is  _in love?_

"Almost! I almost am, okay? I'm on the edge of falling madly crazily and hopelessly in love with him. I'm on the edge of a cliff and I'm about to fall off. And I'm scared, Forrest."

I heard him lower his voice down to a whisper. "Why?"

"I'm scared of getting hurt."

All I wanted to do was bolt upright in my sleep and hold her. I wanted to hold her against my chest and tell her everything would be alright. I wanted to tell her that I was in the same position. I was on the edge of falling crazily in love with her. I wanted to make sure she knew that I would  _never_  in a million years hurt her.

Forrest spoke again. "Kris, I can see the way that you look at him, and he looks at you the same way."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. You're his best friend. And although I've been friends with you for years, you've grown closer to him than you have to me."

Part of me thought they were talking about me. And God, how I wanted that to be true. I just wanted her to love me. But no, it's never that simple. I might love her, but she feels that way about somebody else. And that somebody else may like somebody else.

Woah. Shit, it can't possibly be.

_What is she was nearly in love with Gerard?_

It all made sense. Gerard probably knew she liked him but didn't want to tell anyone because he had a thing for Frank. That's why Gerard wouldn't tell me who she liked, but he said that I knew him. And she had been spending a lot of time with him. She told him things that she probably wouldn't tell me. I have no idea what goes on in the class they have that I'm not in.

Fuck you, Gerard.

Gerard was always the favorite Way brother. He was the more popular one out of the two of us, even when it came to family. They'd always greet him before me. Our mom would favor him over me because he was older. Girls would come to him first because I was just his awkward, dorky, younger brother. Hell, he even has guys falling for him.

Gerard this, Gerard that.

And I was just plain old Mikey.

The sound of Forrest's laugh jolted me back into reality. Thank God it did, or else I probably would've fallen into a nightmare worse than my flashbacks.

"Anyways," he began. "Just like make out with him or something."

"I can't just do that." Kris said.

"Why not?"

She sighed. "Look, he's the nicest person I know. Heck, he's even perfect. But I'm scared that if we do anything, then all I'm going to see is  _him._ "

Fuck Daren. Fuck Gerard. Fuck everyone. Why can't Kris just be mine? I just want her to be mine, and for me to be hers. I want to just be able to hold her in my arms on rainy days as we watch Netflix together until 3 in the morning. I just want to be able to sneak up behind her and hug her from behind. I just want to kiss her and tell her that she's beautiful for no reason. I just want to show her that I love her.

Forrest spoke again. "Right. Well, if that happens, go to me. Or, go to his brother. You two are great friends, too."

And that nearly sent me off the edge.

Giving my crush love advice for my brother. Wonderful. That's  _exactly_ what I wanted to do.

My mood was all over the place. I felt every emotion you could ever feel. From love to lust to anger to jealousy to hope to grief to anxiety to frustrated to any fucking emotion to ever exist except happiness.

And that's how I fell asleep into a dreamless sleep, with tears threatening to spill from my closed eyes.


	17. Chapter 17

3 days. It's been 3 days since Mikey has spoken a word to me.

The last time we spoke was in English class. We were assigned a project and were allowed to work alone or in pairs. When I asked Mikey to work with me, he simply said "I'd rather work by myself." Nothing more, nothing less. He didn't even have the nerve to look me in the eye when he said it, either.

And prior to that, he hadn't spoken to me since the jazz band trip, which was a week ago from today.

So it was rather foolish of me to be sitting on my bed at 11 at night, clutching my phone, waiting for a response from him, all while I was crying my heart out.

I don't know when I started crying. I just knew that I couldn't stop. Everything had just been too stressful lately. Everything, from the incidents with Daren, to the flashbacks, to people still spreading rumors of me at school, to realizing I was in love with Mikey, to having to hear my parents fight for hours every day, for over a week. I had absolutely no one to talk to, as Cassey went over to Forrest's to study, Mikey was ignoring me, and Gerard was probably doing something else. Or Frank.

I was alone.

So as I was laying on my back on a Monday night, instead of looking forward to April break in a week, I was absolutely miserable. No matter how loud I turned up my headphones, I could still hear my parents yelling from the first floor. Occasionally, I would hear something break. Usually, it was dishes or a vase, but this time, it was my heart when I heard my father yell just one sentence.

"I want a divorce!"

Suddenly, everything stopped and time stood still. The house that was the loudest I'd ever remembered was now dead silent. The only thing I could hear was my heart beating until my parents started yelling again.

"What?" My mother cried.

"Don't what me! You know exactly why!"

"I don't know what-"

"I know about the affair, Gina."

I didn't bother to stick around after that. I made my way to the window, trying to escape as quickly and quietly as I had done countless times in the past. Once my feet hit the ground, I curled up in a ball and pulled out my phone.

_**To: Mikey <3** _

_Look, I know you're ignoring me now. But I need to talk to you. Please._

Part of me knew that he wasn't going to text back, but my heart still broke a little more once I checked my phone after five minutes, and he hadn't texted back. The cycle began to repeat.

_**To: Mikey <3** _

_I don't know why you're ignoring me, and I don't really care right now. I need to talk to you. It has nothing to do with us._

Five minutes of me hopelessly waiting passed.

_**To: Mikey <3** _

_Mikey, I need someone right now. You're the only person I can fully trust._

Five more minutes.

_**To: Mikey <3** _

_Please. I'm begging you. Whatever I did wrong, I promise I'll fix it. You're the one person in this world that I would trust with my life. I have absolutely no idea what's going on and it hurts. I'm scared. I need someone._

I didn't bother waiting for a reply before texting him again.

_**To: Mikey <3** _

_I need you._

Eventually, I gave up.

_***Gerard's POV*** _

I was nearly asleep when I heard my phone buzz from my bed side table. I fumbled around for my phone, before giving up and turning on the lamp.

"What the fuck dude?" I heard Mikey mumble from the bed next to mine. I hushed him and grabbed the phone, seeing that Kris was calling. "Who the hell is calling you?"

"Kris." I hissed. "Now shut up."

I hear him mumble something along the lines of "of course" before I picked up the phone.

"Hey?"

"Gerard." I heard her sniffle from the other side. I stood up and began walking out of the room.

"Kris? What's wrong?" I asked with concern as I stepped outside in the night.

"W-why is Mikey ignoring me?"

I cocked my head to the side in confusion, even though she couldn't see it. "What?"

"H-he hasn't spoken to me since the trip. Well, once i-in English, but that doesn't count."

"What did he say?" my voice was now starting to show a bit of anger. Why the hell was Mikey leaving her alone, when he knows what she's dealing with.

"It was about a project, he said he wanted to work alone. Look, can you at least tell him to check his texts?" She sighed, trying to cover up her sobs. "Please, I, I just need to talk to him right now."

"Sure thing." I began walking back inside. "And Kris?"

"Yeah?" She sniffled.

"You can talk to me about anything, you know."

She sniffled once again. "Yeah I know. Good night Gerard."

"Night."

I made my way back into the room, and Mikey complained about me being too loud when opening the door. I flipped on the lights and ripped the covers.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He yelled, standing up.

I folded my arms across my chest. "I could ask you the same things."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

I threw my hands up in anger. "Why? Why would you do that?"

"Do what?" I wanted to slap him across his face for being so ignorant.

"For leaving her alone like that! You know the shit she's going through right now. She  _needs_ you Mikey, more so now than ever."

He rolled his eyes. "Okay. Sure."

"Mikey, please listen to me. You mean the world to this girl. She can't go through this alone, she  _needs_ you-"

"Have her tell that to my face." He muttered.

Now it was my turn to roll my eyes. "Check your phone, asshole."

He picked up his phone. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh! What is wrong with you, Mikey? Why would you leave her alone in this, with no explanation what so ever?"

He shrugged.

"Mikey, why are you ignoring her?"

He sighed. "It hurts, Gerard." He sat down on his bed and rested his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands.

"And you think it doesn't hurt her?"

"Well, at least she's not heartbroken like me. She doesn't love me, Gerard. She's in love with you."

I nearly fell off my ass laughing. "Are you fucking serious, dude? Really?"

His lips pressed into a line. "Yeah-"

"Open your goddamn eyes, dumbass!" I yelled. "Even if that's the case, don't fucking leave her alone in all of this shit. If you truly loved her, you would be there for her!"

He only sighed. I turned the lights back out and slipped out the door. "Good night, asshole."

I didn't know where Kris was right now, but I knew she needed someone right now. And I was going to be that someone.

_***Kris's POV*** _

I hung up the phone after leaving Mikey the billionth message of the night. They were all the same. They composed of me crying, begging for him to talk to me, because I just needed him so fucking much right now.

And it hurt that he didn't give a shit.

I wandered for what seemed like forever but could have only been fifteen minutes at the most, as I found myself in the park. I made my way to the rusty old swings in the corner, thinking about my last time here. About how Mikey had come to be my "knight in shining armor."

Mikey.

Every goddamn thing led back to him.

"Kris?"

I whipped my head so quickly I could've gotten whiplash. I stood up and backed away. "Daren."

He took a step towards me. My first instinct was to run, to run as far away as humanly possible and never look back. But my legs wouldn't work, and he made his way towards me. "Look, I just want to talk to you-"

"If you do so much as lay a hand on me, I swear to God I'll call 911 so fast you'll-"

He stopped five feet away from me. "Look, I came here to apologize."

I laughed. "You? Apologize? Yeah, okay. This is just some scheme to get in my pants. Carry on."

"Look, I swear I have an explanation for all of that."

I snorted. "Yeah, I'd love to hear it."

"I'm serious Kris."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine. You have a minute to explain yourself. Go."

"I'm gay." He didn't say anything after that and it took me a moment to respond.

"I'm not following how that's an explanation or an apology." I began to trail off.

He sighed. "My dad set this up." He gestured between the two of us. "With your mom. It was a deal. A blackmail."

I was confused. "What? Why?"

He sighed again. "My dad is, I guess you could say, a homophobe. He found out and forced me to date a girl to "get me out of my phase". Your mom was in love with my dad, and decided to set us up to get her closer to him."

I rolled my eyes. "That doesn't explain why you  _forced_ yourself onto me."

"My dad said that if I didn't keep you as a girlfriend, then he wouldn't pay for my college tuition."

I rolled my eyes.  _Oh please, like you don't have money to pay for itself._

"So do you understand me now?"

I scoffed. "Are you serious?"

"What do you mean?"

I threw my hands in the air. " _What do I mean?_ I mean, why all of the extra stuff? Why the rumors? Why the torture? Why did you beat the living shit out of me and almost  _rape_ me?"

He ran his hands through his hair. "Look, I found out about the affair between our parents, and I got a little mad-"

"A  _little?"_

His voice suddenly rose one level too much. "Shut up and stop interrupting me, you bitch" He rose his hand and I jumped back, ready to bolt. He lowered it "Sorry. But, I just, I blamed you, I don't know why. And I just took it out. Sorry?"

"You think  _sorry_  will cut it?" I yelled, and he nodded. "Are you fucking serious right now?"

"Well, what else do you want?" He said. "I can give you money, I can-"

I took a step forward and gritted my teeth. "I want you to rot in jail, you worthless bastard." I shoved his chest and ran away.

"Kris-"

I turned around, and my emotions suddenly took over me. "I don't think you've realized what you've done, Daren! You've ruined my life! You've ruined my relationship with my friends! You've ruined the relationship between my mother and me! And most of all, you  _broke_ me." I was screaming and crying in the middle of a park at almost midnight, but I didn't give a shit.

"I broke you?"

I laughed. "I can't look in the mirror without thinking of what you've done to me. And I always blame  _myself._ Because  _I'm_ a slut, because  _I'm_ the school whore, because  _I'm_ the one who can't take no for an answer, because  _I'm_ the one who deserved all of this, because I'm just some girl that you can throw around like a piece of shit!"

He was silent. "Kris, I'm so sorry-"

"Fuck off!" I began running away again, as that seems like the only solution to my problems right now. I nearly reached the park entrance when I saw Gerard's beaten up car pull up to the curb. Just before I could reach the safety of the car, I heard Daren call out after me one last time.

"I never meant for any of this to happen!"

I turned back to face him, seeing that he was making his way towards me. I lowered my voice and nearly spat at him. "That doesn't mean that it didn't happen."

I jumped in the car and slammed the door behind me.

"I take it you don't want to talk to me." He said besides me, as he took the car out of park and back into drive.

I put on my seatbelt and crossed my arms over my chest. "Just drive."

He nodded his head. "Where to?"

"Away from here," I mumbled. "Not my house, not yours. Just anywhere but here."


	18. Chapter 18

"Kris, are you gonna talk about-"

"No." This was the billionth time that Gerard asked if I had wanted to talk about what happened. "We just talked, okay? He didn't try anything."

He sighed. "Okay. I just- I care about you, okay? You're one of my best friends."

"Let me guess, Frank is first?"

He suddenly slammed on the breaks and pointed at me. "I swear to God, if you tell a living soul that I like him and you will never live to see another day."

I laughed. "Everyone knows, Gerard."

He sighed. "Everyone but Frank, it seems." I shook my head. "What?"

"It seems like all of our friends are in line," I said. "You and Frank, Forrest and Cassey-"

"You and Mikey." He cut me off.

I shifted in my seat. "Yeah, but it's not like he feels the same-" He slammed on the breaks and I yelled. "What the hell, Gerard?"

He banged his head on the steering wheel. "I don't see why the two of you don't just make out already! You love him, he loves you, now make babies goddamit!"

I was stunned. "He, he- what?"

"Oh come  _on!"_  It seemed like Gerard was slamming on the breaks every two seconds. It was a good thing we lived in upstate New York, and it as midnight, or else we would have caused an accident. "You  _canno_ t honestly tell me that you didn't realize my brother was in love with you."

I suddenly felt a dropping feeling in my stomach. It was if they were being attacked by butterflies. My heart rate began to quicken and I would feel the heat rise to my cheeks. I stared at my hands as I played with my thumbs. "I- I didn't know."

He shook his head and let out a nervous laugh. "Wow. Just  _wow."_

I looked at him. "Does he really love me?"

He rolled his eyes. "I cannot  _believe_ you two! You're one to the fact that he loves you, and he's blind to the fact that you love him. Hell, he thinks that you love  _me."_

"What?" I nearly screamed. "That's ridiculous!"

He gasped. "Hurtful."

I rolled my eyes. "You know I didn't mean it like that."

"I know." He sighed. We sat in silence for a few minutes before he spoke again. "I should really get you home now."

"What- why? It's not like-"

"Trust me, Kris. It's past midnight, and we have school tomorrow. Plus, your parents are probably worried sick right now. People care about you, ya know. You're not alone. We're all just a call away."

"Okay," I mumbled.

"Good, because we're here." I looked up and saw that we were at my driveway. He laughed when he saw my shocked expression. I was so fazed by the fact that Mikey felt the same about me that I hadn't paid attention to where we were. "You really don't pay attention to the world around you, do you?"

I shook my head. "Not really." As I looked down my driveway, I groaned. "I don't want to walk all the way up the hill."

He stared at me like I was stupid for hinting at the fact that I wanted him to drive me to the door. "Well, there's kind of a gate separating us from your house."

"Wow, thanks captain obvious."

"Any time, sergeant sarcasm." He gave a small salute.

I looked at him with what Frank had called my "murderous gaze". "I don't need your sass, Gerard. Not now."

"Sorry." He mumbled.

I chuckled. "Just roll down the window and type the code in the keypad. It's 5-7-4-7."

He did as I said and the gates opened. "What's special about 5747? Are your parents one of those stupid people who set their passcode as their birthday?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, my parents were born in the 40s. No, but it spelled my name."

"Just as bad. At least it's not 1-2-3-4." He laughed. "Anyways, we're here. Off you go, princess."

I smiled and pulled him into a hug. "Thank you  _so_ much, I really appreciate you driving me around for no reason in the middle of the night."

"No problem. But you owe me."

I rolled my eyes. "And what exactly do I owe you?"

He smiled. "Just make out with my brother already."

I punched his arm playfully. "Goodnight."

"Night." I watched as he drove away before I stepped inside. As I shut the door behind me, I heard sobbing. I looked up to see my father sitting on the couch, slumped over. His head was completely engulfed in his arms as his body shook with every sob.

I had never seen my father cry in my entire life. In fact, I've never seen either parent cry, except for one time when I was 8, my dog had died and my mother was a bit teary eyed. But she was never like this. And my father was supposed to be the strong one. He was the man of the house, and men never shed a single tear. But my heart broke as his world was crashing down right before his puffy red eyes.

I made my way over to the couch and say down next to him, putting an arm around his shoulder. "Dad," I whispered.

He stopped crying for a brief moment to look up at me. He quickly wiped his eyes. "I loved her. No, I still do. L-love. Present tense. And s-she just walked out!" He sobs soon took over his words and he began to weep once again.

I rubbed small circles on his back. "It's okay Dad. She doesn't deserve you."

"I-I know that, but how can she just d-do something like t-that!" He yelled. "I mean, I k-knew she's not the n-nicest of people, but I looked past t-that!"

His head returned to his folded arms once again for a few minutes, and I reassured him that none of it as his fault, and he didn't deserve any of it. It was painful to do so, and I had to fight back tears myself. My parents had always been the model of true love for me. They were what I thought of when someone mentioned true love. They were my "one true pairing". I always thought that they would be that one couple that's still hopelessly in love with each other until they're a hundred years old. But that obviously isn't that case anymore, and it makes me wonder if true love really does last, if it even exists.

"I just- I wonder h-how long she's been doing this. I-if she even loved me."

And that's when my heart truly shattered, and my silent tears accompanied my father's thundering ones.

\---------------------------

"No! You are absolutely  _not_ getting custody!"

"Why not-"

"Oh, so you think that you can just walk out on us, and come crawling back a few days later just to get your stuff and child and leave me with nothing? It doesn't work like that!  _You're_ the one who fucked up!"

Instead of waking up to my alarm that was going to go off in not even five minutes, I had to wake up to the sound of my parents arguing. I immediately came down the stairs to find the two of them arguing over who would have custody over me once they went through with the divorce.

"Enough!" I screamed. "Don't I have a say in this? I'm a person too, not just some piece of property that you can throw around!"

The two of them seemed to have kept quiet after my "outburst". "I'll be going to school now. Please don't kill each other after school. I have enough homework as it is, I don't need any paperwork on top of that."

I ignored their calls after me as I grabbed my bag and coat and headed out the door, not even bothering to change out of my sweatpants. I made my way down the street and into Cassey's car, where she was patiently waiting.

"Wow, someone's up early today," I responded to her by slamming the door shut, indicating that I wasn't in the mood to talk. "Period?"

"What? No! I just- I'll tell you later. Not now."

She put the car in reverse and began the fifteen minute drive to school.  _Why did I always spill my feelings in cars?_

"So, anything interesting happen over the-"

"My parents are getting a divorce." So much for telling her about it later.

"What?" She yelled. "But, your parents are like my OTP!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, mine too, until I found my dad crying his heart out over my mom."

She turned to give me a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry, Kris. Do you know why?"

I sighed. "My mom had an affair. With Daren's dad."

She slammed her fist on the dashboard. "That son of a bitch! I'm gonna kill him! Both of them!"

I forced myself to give a small laugh. "Only if I get to help."

"Of course." After that, we spent the next fifteen minutes to school in silence, just listening to the white noise of the radio between us. When we finally got to school, I turned to her.

"So, when are you going to make out with Forrest?"

She snapped her head to face me, revealing her bright red cheeks. "What?"

I laughed. "There's no use in denying it. Just do it."

I practically jumped out of the car after that. I wanted to get out before she either made a comment about Mikey and me, or did that stupid "just do it" meme thing.

\-----------------------------------

I had spent all day trying to speak to Mikey. I tried talking to him every chance that I got, whether it was between classes, during class, at lunch, or pretty much everywhere that the two of us saw each other. But all of my attempts had failed, and he still hadn't spoken a word to me by the end of the day.

Last period, I had skipped Spanish to talk to Frank and Gerard by the back of the school. "I mean, I don't see why he can't just  _talk_  to me!"

Frank sighed. "It's not a one way street, Kris. You have to make an attempt to talk to him, too."

"Oh, she has," Gerard said. "She practically spammed him with texts, and the asshat is still ignoring her."

I rolled my eyes. "And even today, I've tried talking to him every chance I get. It's just-" I groaned and let my head back, hitting it against the brick wall.

"It's okay Kris-"

"No, it's not, Frank! When I first met him, he had these walls built up all around him, but he let them down just to allow me in. And now he's just thrown me out and sealed up those walls again!"

Gerard sighed. "She's right. For the longest time, I would go months without seeing my brother even smile. But once he met her, it was like  _damn._  But now he's gone back to that cold, quiet Mikey that I was used to."

"That's not even the worst part," I mumbled. "It's that even through his walls, I can see how much he's hurting, and I know it's because of me. If he'd just let me talk to him, then it, I just-"

There was a long silence between us before one of us spoke again. Frank was the one to break that silence. "Here, you need a drag-"

"No." I cut him off. "I mean, yeah, I need one, but if Mikey found out that I was smoking-"

Gerard whistled. "He's got you whipped. And you've done the same to him, but neither of you can see it." What he said had made me think about what he had said last night when we were in the car. When he first told me that Mikey was in love with me, I was shocked. I still am. I mean, how could anyone love  _me?_  When he told me that, I got the same dropping feeling in my stomach that I did now.

The bell had rung and Gerard and Frank were gathering their stuff. "You have to talk to him at jazz band."

"Yeah," I grabbed my bag "I know."

We began to walk our separate ways, but I stopped when Gerard called after me.

I turned around. "Yeah?"

He had a serious look glazed over his face. "Whatever you do, please don't hurt my brother."

I gave a small smile. "That is the last thing that I would want to do."


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My characters are all such drama queens jfc

If I were some second grader narrating my life right now, I would say that my heart was racing as fast as a cheetah, or that it sounded like a basketball being dribbled up a court.

But neither of those statements could even begin to describe what I was feeling.

Honestly, I didn't know why I felt this way. I mean, it was just three words, right?  _I love you._ Except I couldn't say that out loud. If I did, it would scare him away. He'd laugh in my face and walk away. But that wasn't who Mikey was. He'd never do such a thing. No, I would just make him uncomfortable and he'd still just end up walking away. I could say  _like_ instead of  _love._  But what if Gerard was wrong? What if he didn't like me? What if I was just going humiliate myself? What if I was just going to get myself hurt?

A million scenarios flooded my mind. The most likely one was that he'd just continue to ignore me. I mean, I knew that he felt the same, thanks to Gerard.  _So why couldn't I just go and tell him?_  Nothing was holding me back, yet everything was.

So when I was walking toward the auditorium for jazz band, keeping an eye out for Mikey, those stupid second grade similes came back to mind. My pulse vibrated within my ears. It was the only thing that I could hear as it rang through my ears, as it echoed throughout the vacant halls. With each thump, it grew faster and louder. I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks as my forehead began to sweat. It still baffled me that just saying these words could cause this rush of adrenaline. My heart was beating for Mikey. It was just Mikey. He was my best friend. I could trust him with anything, so why couldn't I just tell him this?

The beating of m heart had become so loud and overwhelming that it began to haunt me.  _Thump. Thump._ Just do it.  _Thump.Thump._ What are you waiting for?  _Thump. Thump._ You're nothing but a coward.

"Kris, are you okay?" Forrest's voice snapped me back to my surroundings. "You look like you're going to be sick. Maybe you should go home-"

"I'm fine." I snapped. I looked over his shoulders and saw Mikey walk into the hallway.

"You look like you've seen a ghost-"

"Just, Just go to band. I'll talk to you later."

He began to protest. "Are you sure-"

"Goodbye, Forrest." He eventually gave in and walked past me to the auditorium. As he did so, Mikey saw me and his eyes widened. He immediately turned to his left and began going down the hallway leading to the side stage entrance.

"Mikey!" I called after him. My feet began turning, and it's the fastest I've ever run before. I knew that if I didn't get to talk to him  _now,_ when we were alone, then I would never get to talk to him, and he would continue ignoring me until his feelings went away. "Mikey, goddamit Mikey!" I pleaded as I continued to chase after him. I finally grabbed his arm and whipped him around to face me.

"What do you want?" He had screamed. I instinctively took a step back. This was the first time that I'd ever heard him scream before.

I lowered my voice, hoping he'd do the same. "I need to talk to you."

"There's nothing to talk about." He began to turn back around, but I grabbed his arm once again.

"What do you mean, there's nothing to talk about?" My voice grew louder and higher. "You haven't spoken to me since the jazz band trip!"

"I have my reasons." He huffed and shook his arm from my grip.

I sighed. "Mikey, at least tell me why."

"No."

"I can see you're hurting! You think you're helping yourself by bottling up your feelings, but it just gets worse. You're hurting yourself, and it's worrying everyone around you! And it's hurting me, too." My last sentence had become almost a whisper.

"Why do you care?"

 _Now was my chance._  "Because I-"

"No, I don't want to hear it. It's just going to be some pity story that you made up because you feel like I need to be rescued. No, I'm perfectly fine on my own."

My throat closed up as I knew that every word that escaped his lips was a lie. Especially the last part. "Mikey, just hear me out-"

"Why should I?" He yelled. "You're just some stupid girl, stop being so damn clingy and leave me alone!"

 _Maybe Gerard was wrong._ "Just- just forget it," I said, obviously hurt by his words.  _Just some stupid girl._ I felt my heart shatter. It wasn't at the fact that he called me stupid. No, I wasn't three. It was over the fact that Gerard was definitely wrong. I was nothing to him. Nothing but another person to block out from his life.

"Kris-"

"No, forget it." I began walking backward. He wanted nothing to do with me, so it was best that I just leave.

"You know I didn't mean it like that-"

"Oh, so you did mean part of it?" I snapped, raising my voice.

He threw his hands in the air, obviously frustrated. "I don't know what you want! First you're begging me to talk to you, and now you're just shutting me out!"

I scoffed. " _I'm_ shutting  _you_  out? Look at it from my point of view for a change! You completely ignored me for the one week of my life when I needed you the most, and  _I'm_ the one giving people the cold shoulder?"

He rolled his eyes. "You would too, if you knew what I was going through!"

I took a step forward. "What  _you're_ going through?" I laughed. "What about what  _I'm-"_

"This isn't about you!" He yelled. "Kris this, Kris that. What about my feelings for a change!"

I had to resist every urge in my body to just slap some sense into his stupid adorable face. "Well, maybe I would understand why your feelings are so devastatingly hurt if you would tell me why you've been acting the way you have lately."

"Don't play dumb with me." He spat. "You know exactly why I'm ignoring you."

I folded my arms across my chest. "I don't, actually. Care to enlighten me?"

He looked like he didn't know whether to laugh or scream or cry. And at this point, I didn't know, either. "Because you're using me!"

I suddenly went silent. I was baffled as to why he thought that I was  _using_ him. My arms dropped to my sides and my jaw had dropped. "I- I-, what?"

He sucked his teeth. "Oh come  _on!_ "

"Mikey," I said, my voice dramatically lower than his. "I have no idea what you're talking about-"

"Yes, yes you do! You know  _exactly_ what I'm talking about!" He yelled, and my blood began to boil.

"No! No, I really don't!  _Please_ tell me what I did wrong!" Inside, my emotions were all over the place. I wanted to scream and cry and kick and just kiss him all at once.

"I heard you talking to Forrest on the bus! You're in love with my brother, and you're only friends with me to get close to him."

I was shocked. "You honestly think that I'm in love with  _Gerard?_ How can you be so blind-"

"Just shut up!" He yelled. "The past five minutes you've done nothing but make me feel like absolute shit. I finally told you why I'm pissed, now can you leave me alone?"

"No, No I will not leave you alone! I'm not using you Mikey! If I were using anyone it would be Gerard!"

The anger finally dissolved from his face. "I- I'm not following what you're trying to say."

Now. Now was my chance. And the one time that I had everything to say, I had absolutely nothing to say. Time had seemed to stop around me. My throat had closed up and it was impossible to say anything. So I did the first thing that came to mind.

I kissed him.

I wrapped my arms behind his neck and slammed my lips onto his. He was shocked at first, not reciprocating anything that I did. But eventually something had clicked inside of his brain, and he had realized what I had been trying to say all along.

His arms snaked around my waist, pulling me into him so that we were pressed together. Everything that we had been feeling just now was being brought out, from hate to jealousy to rage to lust, and to most importantly, love. It would be an understatement to say that it was a passionate kiss. The two of us had hardly any idea what we were doing, yet every move was perfect. Every touch was electric. Everything made my heart swell, and it was nearly about to burst.

It shouldn't have worked. He was shy and awkward, I was bold and confident. His lips were rough against my smooth ones. Yet it did. It was as if we couldn't get enough of each other. I let my hands drift away from his neck and tangle in his hair. He responded by pulling me closer to him, as if it were even possible. My heart was beating against his, staying in time with the movement of our lips.

We both pulled away, gasping for air. My brown eyes stared into his, as my stomach dropped and I was feeling all sorts of emotions. His eyes began to water, and I let one hand escape from behind him to reach under his glasses and wipe away the tears.

"Hey, it's okay." I whispered.

He shook his head. "I'm sorry."

I smiled. "It's okay. We're okay."

He shook his head again. "No, I should have just listened to you. I was being stupid and I did nothing but hurt you-"

I cut him off with a short kiss. "It's okay. It all worked out in the end, didn't it?"

He looked back into my eyes and smiled. It was a genuine smile, one that reached his eyes, one that I haven't seen in over a week. "You have no idea how long I've been wanting to do that."

I giggled. "Please, I've practically wanted to do that since we met."

He rolled his eyes as he chuckled. "That would've saved us a lot of trouble."

I nodded. "Oh yeah."

He let one hand let go of my waist to check his watch. "Well, we just missed over half of jazz band."

I raised an eyebrow. "Well shit, where did the time go?"

He laughed. "I'm surprised no one left the auditorium to tell us to stop arguing so loud."

"I'm just glad no one caught us kissing, because they'd all be singing hallelujah."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't get me started. Come on, let's get back to band."

"Can we skip?" I asked, and he looked at me confused. "Oh, we've already missed half of it. What's another half an hour?"

"Well, what are we going to do?"

I smirked. "I have an idea."

And then my lips were on his again.


	20. Chapter 20

"I just- I don't know what color I want!" I groaned in frustration as I flopped back onto my bed. I was skyping Mikey, trying to decide what color we were going to dye my hair tomorrow. It had faded to an almost white, and I looked like an evil witch from a children's story. "I also can't decide if I just want to dye half of my hair again or all of it."

"Well, if you dye all of it, you'll have to bleach the other half of your hair too." He pointed out.

I groaned. "But bleach burns!"

He chuckled. "You could dye it back to your normal color and just bleach and dye the ends-"

"No!" I cut him off. " _Just_ the ends? That's boring."

He rolled his eyes. "Oh my God, you're  _such_ a girl."

I snorted. "Shut up." I began scrolling through my phone, looking at different Manic Panic colors. "Oh, what about yellow? I could make my hair  _electric banana._ "

He laughed. "I mean, if that's what you want-"

"Oh  _God_ no. Maybe I could do that for the bangs and dye the rest orange. I could pull a Hayley Williams!"

"I'm surprised you even know who that is."

I glared at him. "I might be an idiot but I don't live under a rock."

He shook his head. "Whatever you decide to do, you'll still look beautiful."

I smiled and blushed. I was about to say something when my Dad spoke from the doorway, making me nearly jump out of my skin.

"So who's the guy making my daughter blush?" He asked with a smirk on his face.

I placed a hand over my heart. "Jesus fu- uh, I mean, fudge, Dad. You scared the crap out of me!"

He rolled his eyes and began walking over to my bed. "Sooo-"

"Oh my God Dad."

"Who are you skyping?" He sounded like Cassey right now, I swear.

"Mikey." I mumbled.

He threw his hands up. "Are the two of you  _ever_  just going to start dating already?"

I mumbled again. "Uh, we are-"

"It's about time!" He yelled. He walked over to the computer and stuck his face in the webcam. "Hello Mikey!"

"Dad!" I yelled and pushed him out of the way so Mikey wasn't staring up his nose. "What do you want?"

He shrugged. "I just came in here to say hi. Also, dye it all blue. Like a navy blue. It'll look good on you."

I saw Mikey nod. "He's right. You'd look cute in blue."

I blushed. "Thanks. Now you can leave Dad."

"Are you sure you don't want to spend some quality bonding time with your father-"

"Bye Dad!" I shoved him through my door and closed the door on him. "Sorry, I love you!" I called through the wood before plopping back onto my bed.

"Well, that was rude." Mikey scoffed.

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, I'll just invite him back in here-"

"Dude, I was kidding! Well, not completely, that was still pretty rude, but I'd rather talk to you without your dad standing right there."

"And I'd rather talk to you without your brother standing right there."

"I- what?" He turned around, confused, to see Gerard standing behind him. "Gerard! Get out!"

"It's my room too, dork." He pushed Mikey aside and leaned into the camera. "Yo, Kris! What's up?"

I rolled my eyes. "The ceiling. What do you want?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Well, someone's extra sassy today. Anyways, we're planning a movie night party sleepover thing at Cassey's tomorrow night. It's just us, Frankie, Forrest and Cassey. You in?"

"Yeah, sounds awesome!" I nodded enthusiastically.

"Cool, and you can come to our house after school to get ready and whatever because I know you want to dye your hair."

I nodded again, until I realized that I hadn't told Gerard about my hair. "Wait a second, Gerard Way, were you eavesdropping on us?"

"Dude!" Mikey yelled and whipped around to face his brother. "Don't you have something better to do?"

"Or some _one_?" I chimed in.

He looked at the ground. "Shut up." He mumbled before storming out of the room.

I rolled my eyes. "What crawled up his ass?"

"He and Frank got in a fight."

I dramatically placed my elbows on my knees and my chin in my hands and batted my eyelashes. "Ooo, drama! Do tell."

He laughed. "We'll save the gossip for tomorrow at the Way salon."

\---------------------------------

"You really should open a salon," I stated as Mikey towel dried my now bleached hair.

He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, because  _that's_ how I want to be remembered in life. As some guy who ran a salon that relied on Manic Panic hair dye."

I shrugged. "It's not bad."

"Yeah, you can say that because you're a girl."

I copied his previous actions and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Now tell me about Frank and Gerard!"

He smiled and leaned over to give me a quick kiss on the lips. "Patience, babe."

I smiled and blushed. "Did you just call me babe?"

"Uh, y-yeah sorry it j-just kinda slipped o-out-"

I giggled before cutting him off with a kiss. "Don't be sorry, you're cute. Now I need a pet name for you."

"Oh God, not something gross, please-"

I placed a hand over my chest and pretended to be hurt. "Do you not have faith in me?"

"That's not what I meant." He groaned as he grabbed the hair dye. We had gone to hot topic and I had wanted  _Rockabilly Blue._ But Gerard had suggested something darker, like  _After Midnight_ , and we argued for a while before Mikey told us to shut up and we decided to mix the two.

"Wow, you really don't know when I'm being sassy and when I'm serious." I laughed.

He shook his head. "No, I really don't. No one does. Now sit back down and I'll fill you in on Frank and Gerard."

"Aw yeah, I want to hear about this." I jumped in the chair as he began mixing the dye.

"Basically, the two of them were skipping class by the bleachers like always. They were smoking and Gerard pointed out that Frank should try quitting, and of course he told Gerard he was being hypocritical."

"That's why Gerard was so upset?" I interrupted.

"If you didn't interrupt me, you'd know that that's not the entire story." He teased.

"Sorry," I mumbled, "go on."

"Anyways, Frank was telling Gerard that he shouldn't be a hypocrite and should care about himself more than Frank. And then Gerard was all 'why do you care' and Frank was all 'why do  _you_  care'. And since the two of them are too scared to tell the other that they're in love with each other, they stuttered and told stupid lies and they saw right through each other and were upset that they were lied to and they don't think that the other person is in love with them and they're avoiding each other."

I waited for him to continue, but he didn't. "Wow."

"Yeah, wow." He groaned. "Why is there so much drama in high school?"

"Because hormones." I shrugged. "Or more like whore moans."

He laughed. "Nice one, where'd you get that from?"

"Tumblr."

I could practically feel him rolling his eyes as he continued to slob blue hair dye all over my head. "Of course you did."

We were silent for a while before he spoke again. "Alright, now this just has to sit for a while." He grabbed one of the kitchen chairs from behind him and dragged it over so he was sitting in front of me.

"How do you want to be remembered?" I blurted out.

"What?"

I sighed. "Before, when you said you didn't want to be remembered as some guy running a salon, you said it like you had something else in mind."

He shrugged. "I want to make a difference in the world. I don't want to be remembered as just a name. I want to make a difference in people's lives. That's really all I want to accomplish."

I nodded, and waited for him to continue, but he didn't. "There's more."

"This sounds kind of stupid, I don't know."

I scoffed. "Oh please. I'll only think it's stupid if you say you want to accomplish it by working at McDonald's."

"You know, if I actually did want to do that, I'd be very offended right now." I rolled my eyes and he continued. "But I want to do it through music. I want to be in a band. Not just to be famous, but for the music and just- yeah."

I smiled when I saw how genuinely happy he was thinking about it. "You should start one."

His eyes widened. "You think so?"

I nodded. "Yeah! Forrest can be the drummer, you can be the bassist. I heard Frank can play the guitar-"

"And Gerard can sing! Oh my God, this is a great idea!"

I smiled. "You'd need another guitarist probably. Oh! What about Ray! He's one of the guitarists in jazz band, he's pretty cool. He's literally a ball of cupcakes and rainbows. You'd get along well with him."

He nearly jumped out of his seat. "Yes, yes, yes! This sounds amazing! God, you're perfect." He grabbed my face and kissed me. It was a short yet very passionate kiss. "Now let's get this dye out of your hair."

\---------------------------------

We showed up fashionably late to the party. We weren't that late, only a little over an hour. I could hear Cassey begin to open before she even opened the door.

"Oh my God, it's about time, we've been waiting for you for an hour, it's about- KRIS FUCKING MARCELLO WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR HAIR?"

I laughed. "I dyed it."

She picked up a piece of my hair. "No shit! It looks great!"

"Thanks. Mikey did it."

She looked over at him. "You should-"

"Before you finish, no, Gerard and I will not be starting a salon." He walked past her and began walking down the stairs to the basement.

"Your brother is rude." I turned to Gerard as we walked down the stairs.

He rolled his eyes. "You're the one who's dating him."

"WHAT?" Cassey screamed and nearly attacked me once she came down the stairs. "WHEN WERE YOU PLANNING ON TELLING ME YOU WERE DATING?"

"Right about now." I shrugged. "Mikey and I are dating."

"It's about time!" Forrest and Frank had both yelled from the couch.

I coughed. "Hypocrites."

Gerard shot me a look before he went over to Frank, who said they needed to "talk", and they soon disappeared.

The four of us left just sat around on the floor, ignoring the fact that her basement had very expensive, very comfortable, and very usable couches. Eventually, we used the very expensive, comfortable, and usable cough cushions to have a pillow fight.

"Forrest, you jerk, you're messing up my hair!" Cassey screamed as he repetitively beat her head with a pillow.

He just laughed. "This is revenge for when you poured milk on me at lunch!"

"That was an accident!" She squealed before ducking behind a couch. "And besides, it was freshman year!"

"My hair smelled like shit for a week!"

"What is going on?" Mikey mumbled in my ear, as we watched the two of them beat each other nearly to death with pillows.

"Just don't ask."

"Okay." He snaked his arms around my waist, but as he did so, his fingers grazed across my sides and I giggled. He turned me around and smirked.

"Oh crap."

"You're ticklish, aren't you?"

"No I'm not." He reached for me and I stepped back. "Michael James Way-"

He gasped. "Oh no, not my full name! I'm scared now."

"You should be." I backed up further, but ended up falling onto the couch. Mikey jumped on top of me and started tickling my sides.

"S-s-s-to-p! M-m-mikey!" I gasped.

"Nope, this is too fun."

"P-p-p-le-e-as-e-"

"I'm going to tickle you until Gerard and Frank come back."

I could hear Forrest laugh. "Oh shit, Kris, he's never going to stop tickling you.

At this point I was laughing so hard that it had become painful. With every gasp, my stomach felt like it was on fire. But that's not what hurt the most. As he was on top of me, I could only picture him as Daren.

Instead of Mikey tickling me, I felt Daren's hands sliding up the sides of my shirt. I could feel his filthy nails digging into my hips. I could feel his hot breath on my face, and smell his sickening scent of cologne and aftershave. And worst of all, I could hear him whisper in my ear, telling me I was worthless and didn't mean a thing. That I wasn't even human. I was a piece of property, a fucking toy. And at one point, I had started to believe him.

"Kris, Kris, please talk to me." Mikey was no longer on top of me, but next to me. We were witting up, his hands on my shoulders. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, wiping away tears I didn't know I had cried.

"Hey, oh my God, I'm so so so sorry. I didn't t-think that through. I-I'm sorry I didn't mean to-"

"It's okay." I mumbled.

"Are you sure?" I nodded wrapping my hands around his waist. He threw his arms around me, pulling me closer. I buried my face in his chest, thankful for him being there.

I was thankful that he was there to catch me when I fell.


	21. Chapter 21

I threw my bag down on the ground before sliding onto the cafeteria bench. I immediately folded my arms and put my head down on the table, while still desperately clinging onto my coffee.

"Wow, someone  _really_  hates Mondays." Frank snickered. I raised my head to give him a look that said  _fuck off._  So far, Frank, Cassey and I were the only ones who were occupying our table we all sat at before the first bell rang.

"Sorry, I just didn't get much sleep." I went to go take a sip of my coffee, but Cassey went to go grab it.

"Oh my God, is that starbu-"

I cut her off by pulling my coffee cup back. "Take my coffee and I'll take your life."

"Woah, woah," I heard Mikey say from behind me as he placed his hands on my shoulders. "Calm down there, Kris."

He sat next to me as I mumbled a "sorry". He went to go say something, but the bell for first period cut him off.

"Alright, c'mon sleepyhead, we have to go to English now." He took my hand as we stood up.

I whined. "I don't wanna." I tossed my empty cup in the trash as he snickered and pressed a kiss to my cheek. When he realized I didn't react, he let go of my hand and put his arm around my shoulder instead.

"Hey, are you okay?" He asked as we began walking through the crowded halls to our first period class.

I shrugged. "My mom's back. She came back last night to get her stuff, she hasn't been staying with us for the past week. She started arguing with my dad all night, and I couldn't get any sleep because they were so loud."

He rubbed my arm. "Hey, it'll be okay. I promise."

I just looked at my shoes. "I just miss it when they actually got along. They were so in love, you know? They were my best friends and now they're just turning on each other and-" I had to stop talking because I felt my throat closing up, and if I talked anymore I was almost positive that I would start sobbing.

We were almost to English when Mikey stopped walking and stood in front of me. "Hey, look at me." I sniffled and raised my chin. He tucked my hair behind my ears before holding my hands. "It will get better soon, I  _promise._  And I'll always be here, whenever you need me. I'll always be there for you." He quickly kissed me and I smiled. "Now c'mon, we're about to be late."

We walked into the classroom just as the late bell rang. Everyone was standing around the edges of the classroom, and I was about to ask what was going on when Mr. Gates spoke.

"Alright, so you guys have seemed distracted during class, and it's because none of you stop talking. So in hopes of doing this, I've decided to put you guys in assigned seats. It really breaks my heart, you would think that juniors in high school could be mature enough to sit where they want. But I guess not. So listen up, when I call your name, go to the seat I'm pointing to."

I moaned as he started calling names. "This sucks. I'm probably not going to be next to you."

Mikey sighed. "I know. But you'll probably be texting me anyways."

I giggled. "Probably."

"Kris Marcello." He said as he pointed to a desk in the first row, right next to the door. I took my seat and drummed my fingers, hoping that Mikey would at least be near me. But I was wrong. He was in the last row, last column, in the farthest seat possible. I groaned. I only had two classes with Mikey, and now I could barely talk to him in one of them. The only other class I had with him was band, and I really couldn't talk to him much during that, either.

I shared a sympathetic look with him from across the class as our hour of torture began.

\-------------------------------

"Someone's cheery today," I mumbled at Gerard as we walked into pre-calc. During physics, he looked like he was about ready to jump out of his seat, while everyone else about to fall asleep.

"Yeah, and guess why!" He seemed as though he had three cups of coffee.

I smirked and rolled my eyes. "Are you finally doing it with-"

"No, it doesn't have to do with Frank." We walked into the class and put down our bags. He looked at me like I was supposed to know the answer.

"Um, can I have a hint?"

He nearly started jumping in his seat, causing me to smile. "No, you can't. Oh, I'll just tell you! I got into my first choice for college!"

I smiled. "Man, that's great! Where are you going?"

He smiled back. "Thanks. I'm going to an art and music school in New York City!"

I tried to be happy for him, but I couldn't force a convincing enough smile. I was happy for him, I really was, and I was glad that he was happy. "That's great!"

"Hey, do you know where Frank is going to school, by any chance? I haven't gotten the chance to talk to him yet."

I shook my head. "No, sorry."

"It's okay. We made a deal that we wouldn't tell each other where we were applying or where we got in until we both decided where we were going."

I nodded. "So you're using me as a way to cheat on your agreement."

"No, wait, no I didn't mean-"

"Relax, Gerard, I'm just messing with you." I shot him another small smile, but he must've caught on to the fact that I was faking one too many smiles.

"Are you okay?"

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. "Not really, at the moment."

He moved his desk just a bit closer to mine. "Mind telling me what's wrong?"

"It's nothing you have any control over." I shook my head. "My mom just came back after leaving for a week or so and my parents are arguing again and it's just- I really don't feel like talking about it."

He nodded. "I'm sorry. And don't bottle your feelings up, okay? It's good to let them loose. Remember, any of us are just a phone call away."

I gave a quick nod, avoiding his gaze. "Yeah, thanks Gerard."

\--------------------------------

I was almost afraid to go home. Cassey noticed this as she was driving us home, and she spoke up when she pulled onto out street. "You know, you can come over to my house if you don't want to go home. I'm sure my parents won't mind-"

"No, it's okay, thanks. Just drop me off at home."

"Are you sure-"

"Yes, I'm sure." I snapped, and instantly felt guilty for doing so. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap. I just want to be alone, is that selfish of me? I really hate sympathy, I'd rather just, I don't know."

She nodded. "I get it. It's okay. Just come right over if you need me." She pulled up to the driveway and punched in the code, before driving up to my door to drop me off. "Let's see, that'll be twenty dollars."

"Yeah right." I rolled my eyes and laughed. I was about to leave when I reached over and gave her a hug.

"Wow, Kris giving hugs? Someone's had a really shitty day." Cassey joked and hugged back.

"Yeah." I nodded. "Thank you."

She pulled away. "Anytime." I exited the car and waved as she drove away. I walked into my house, expecting to be able to go straight up to my room, but my parents had other plans.

"Kris, honey, can you please come into the kitchen?" I heard my mother call and I immediately stopped in my tracks. "Please, it's important."

I cautiously made my way into the kitchen. The last time my mom had called me into a room because it was "important" was when she introduced me to Daren. My parents were both sitting at the table, arms folded, with serious looks on their faces.

"You might want to sit-"

"I'm fine." I crossed my arms and leaned against the door frame.

My mom sighed. "Please, just sit-"

"No."

"Kris-"

"Kris, please listen to your mother and sit down." My dad cut us both off. I shrugged my bag onto the ground and sat across from him.

"Yes?"

My mom sighed. "You might want to think long and hard about this. Your decision is going to affect all of our lives very much."

I nodded and she took a breath.

"One of us has to have custody over you. And before you answer, just remember, whoever you choose stays in this house. The other will have to move. After one of us moves out, then we will be unofficially divorced."

I paused. "Wait, what do you mean  _unofficially divorced_?"

My dad reached across the table and took my hand. "Divorces aren't easy. Especially when there's an issue with custody. It can take months, and in some cases, even over a year just to get divorced."

I caught on. "And by me choosing custody, it makes things faster."

He nodded. "Right. But even then, there's still a lot to work out. It'll take some time. And by having us be unofficially divorced, it'll make things easier."

I nodded.

My mom spoke. "Now, I'll let you go upstairs and have some time to think about-"

"Dad." I cut her off.

"What?" She seemed surprised.

I scoffed. "Why am I going to choose you?"

She stood up and raised her voice. "Maybe because I'm your mother?"

I shrugged. "And he's my father."

She threw her arms in the air and stomped. "Why does everyone hate me? You hate me, your father hated me, Daren hates me-"

I burst out laughing and she gave me a glare. "Oh, no, I'm just finding it funny that  _Daren_  hates  _you_  while  _you_ don't hate  _him_ for abusing your only child that you love oh so much."

"That's different!" She yelled. "He hates me for no reason! And it's all your fault! If you just said yes none of this would've happened and no one would find out about the affair! He's mad at me because of you and because I'm  _replacing his mom_. What does that even mean?"

I continued to laugh. Not because any of this was particularly funny, but because she was so  _goddamn stupid._ "And yet you wonder why I'm choosing to live with Dad over you."

"Alright Kris, that's enough." My dad butted in.

I nodded, and my mom was absolutely furious. "Right. Got it. Leave the bitch to vent. Okay. Just get out of my house." I got up and grabbed my bag before running up to my room. I threw my stuff on my bed and pulled out my phone, seeing I had a text from Mikey.

**_From: Mikey Bae <3_ **

_Hey, you get home okay? I didn't see you after school, and you still seemed pretty upset during the day._

I smiled at the thought that someone genuinely cared a lot for me. As shy as he was, Mikey was also very protective. And it was so adorable that it was going to make me go fucking insane.

**_To: Mikey Bae <3_ **

_Yeah, I'm good now. Great actually. I just kind of told off my mom...? I shouldn't feel this great but I do._

I put my phone to the side as I started to actually do homework before seven at night for once, but soon after, my phone began to blow up with messages from him.

**_From: Mikey Bae <3_ **

_That's good to hear. Glad you're better :)_

**_From: Mikey Bae <3_ **

_KRIS_

**_From: Mikey Bae <3_ **

_KRIS_

**_From: Mikey Bae <3_ **

_KRIS OH MY GOD_

**_From: Mikey Bae <3_ **

_I WALKED INTO MY BASEMENT AND FRANK WAS IN THERE_

**_From: Mikey Bae <3_ **

_AND HE WAS KISSING GERARD_

**_From: Mikey Bae <3_ **

_OH MY GOD I THINK THEY'RE A THING NOW SHUT UP IM EVESDROPPING_

I started giggling at him. Only Mikey would freak out and ship his brother with another guy.

**_To: Mikey Bae <3_ **

_You okay there?_

**_From: Mikey Bae <3_ **

_NO I'M NOT OKAY_

**_From: Mikey Bae <3_ **

_OH MY GOD THEY'RE A THING_

**_From: Mikey Bae <3_ **

_KRIS THEY'RE A THING. WE NEED A SHIP NAME. NOW. FRERARD. AWESOME. THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP. I'M LITERALLY SCREAMING. SKYPE ME. NOW._

I opened my laptop and logged on to Skype. Before I could even click his contact, he was calling me. And screaming. I was laughing.

"Dude, you're a white girl at heart."


	22. Chapter 22

As I was shoving my books into my locker while taking out my lunch, I felt a pair of hands gently wrap around my waist. I turned around to see Mikey with a smirk on his face. "Hey."

I giggled. "Hi." He went to go kiss me, but before anything could really happen, Forrest yelled in my ear.

"Gross! PDA!" I turned around to glare at him.

"Hey, fuckface, could you not yell in my ear?" I rolled my eyes.

He groaned. "Could you guys not makeout right by my locker?"

Mikey snickered. "Aw, is Forrest jealous because he can't get some?"

I put my hand on Mikey's chest. "Hey now, no need to be rude. The truth can hurt."

Forrest groaned from beside us again. "Guys, please shut up."

"Oh, maybe-"

"I said to  _shut up_ " He yelled and slammed his locker shut, before running in the opposite way of the cafeteria. I immediately closed my locker and went after him, Mikey following close behind.

"Hey Forrest, we didn't mean to-"

He whipped around and you could see the look of hurt in his eyes. "Just, I'd rather not talk about Cassey. Okay?"

I shook my head. "No. You two need to stop thinking that the other person doesn't like you and just  _get together-_ "

"I've missed my chance, Kris!" He cried and put his back against the lockers. "I've been in love with her since the start of high school, but I've always been too scared to do anything! And now I never will!" He slumped to the floor, and I crouched down to put a hand on his shoulder.

"What happened?"

He shook his head. "You know that new kid, Brendon?"

"You mean the total fuckboy?" Mikey interrupted.

He nodded. "Yeah, him. I went to go get a new pair of drumsticks from the band closet because mine broke and I'm too lazy to actually buy them. But I walked in and Brendon had her pushed up against the wall, and they were kissing and I just- I didn't say or do anything. I just turned around and ran away because that's all I know how to do, apparently."

I sighed. "Dude, I know Cassey, and I know that she's madly in love with you, too-"

He snapped his head up, and you could see his eyes were beginning to turn red. "Wait really?"

I nodded, just as the late bell for lunch went off. I stood up, and Mikey and I helped Forrest get up. "I have no idea why she would kiss Brendon, but I'll talk to her about it during lunch, okay?"

He sniffled as the three of us began to walk to lunch. "Thanks, Kris."

We made our way into the cafeteria, and while Forrest and Mikey got in line to buy lunch, I took the opportunity to talk to Cassey.

"Sooo," I drew out the o's, "how are you?"

She gave me a skeptical look. "I'm okay, why?"

I turned to face her. "Some little birdy told me that you have the hots for the new guy."

She groaned and buried her head in her hands. "Oh my God, this is a disaster."

"Why?"

She sighed. "Okay, so yesterday he was all like  _oh, you're hot and we should go out._  And I was all like  _no, thanks._ And then today before school, when I went all the way across the school to my locker, he cornered me into the band closet. And the, he just  _kissed_ me. It was awful."

I nodded, taking a bite of my sandwich. "How so?"

She groaned. "It just was. First of all, it was  _him_. Second of all, it was all one-sided because, you know, I was trying my hardest  _not_  to kiss him.  And then lastly, it was just  _gross_. Like he was trying to shove his tongue in my mouth before our lips even pressed. And I swear it was like a lizard and, ugh I'm starting to lose my appetite now."

Rolling my eyes, I asked, "so you still are like, madly in love with Forrest, right?"

She did the same thing as she did when I asked her about Brendon. "I do, and it's not  _fair!_ " She yelled. "I love him so badly that it just, it  _hurts_. And I'm too scared to do anything about it, because he's not going to feel the same. I mean, I'm just so scared and it  _hurts._ "

Just as she finished speaking, Forrest and Mikey sat down. "What is Cassey afraid of?" Forrest asked

"Nothing." She mumbled and I gave her an elbow. She gave me a look as to say,  _Dude, shut the fuck up or I'll kill you,_ but she just mumbled again. "I'll talk to you about it later." We ate the rest of our lunch in an awkward silence, and none of us even bothered to ask why neither Frank nor Gerard wasn't eating with us. When the bell rang, we were all too quick to throw out our garbage as we headed to band, and Cassey went off to art.

"That was an awkward lunch," Mikey mumbled as he caught up to Forrest and me.

I shrugged. "Thanks to this guy over here." I jutted my thumb at Forrest, who just gave me a sad look. "Sorry, too soon?"

He just mumbled and looked at his feet. "Yeah."

Our awkwardness was cut off when my phone buzzed from my back pocket. I pulled it out of my jeans to see that I had a text message from a number that I didn't have in my contacts, but that I would recognize in a heartbeat. I stopped dead in my tracks. Forrest and Mikey were quick to turn around and stare at me, confused as to why I had stopped, and why I was clutching my phone with both hands and wide eyes.

Mikey walked over to my side as I frantically unlocked my phone to read the whole text. "Kris-"

I didn't hear the rest of what he said, as I blocked out everything around me as I read the text.

**_From: 607-555-2342_ **

_I thought we were done. I would leave you alone, you would leave me alone. But no, you sent your mother. You will pay. You'll regret that you ever lived on this Earth. You can't get rid of me, darling. I'm everywhere and anywhere. That random face in the crowd? That's me. That chatter from the other side of the room you can't make out? That's me. You will never see the last of me. You will spend every waking minute of your life wondering where I am and what I am planning. It'll leave you on edge, and when it finally does happen, I hope it makes you want to kill yourself. Revenge is a dish best served cold, my dear._

My heart began to pound against my rib cage. The only thing I could ask is  _why?_  I'd never done anything to him. My stomach twisted into a knot as I thought about his message.  _What was he going to do? Where was he right now? What if he was watching me right now?_ I wanted to look around, and see if he was anywhere in sight, watching how I freaked out over one little text. But my knees locked and I was stuck in place, almost paralyzed. I wanted to scream, cry, and shout, all while curling up into a ball, as I thought about all the things that he'd done to me over the course of a few months.

I was saved from my own thoughts when I was finally snapped back to reality by Mikey snatching my phone out of my shaking, sweaty hands. I watched as he read it with widening eyes before he turned to face me. "Is this who I think it is?"

I gulped and nodded.

Forrest leaned over to catch a view of the text. "Who is it?"

I felt as if I couldn't breathe. I opened my mouth to talk, and I choked out his name. I felt as if I were sinning by just letting the name escape my mouth. "D-Daren."

His eyes widened. "Oh, crap."

All I could do was nod.

"Hey, let's just go to band, okay? Try to relax. You can come over to my place after school and we'll worth things out." Mikey took my hand as we walked into the auditorium just as the bell rang.

I had hoped that band class would take my mind off of things. It was my favorite class, and usually, I found it easy to get myself lost in the music. But no. Mikey and Forest kept shooting me worried looks from the other side of the stage. That only added to the pressure. My hands shook the entire time, causing me to fumble with the keys of my saxophone. I cursed myself every time I messed up.  _C'mon Kris, you're better than this._  I couldn't see straight, and it was hard for me to focus on the sheet music in front of me.  _Pathetic._

Finally, 45 minutes into the period, Mr. Hymn stopped up. "Alright, go take a five minute break. Please be back on time." I immediately put down my saxophone and nearly ran up the stairs to grab my water bottle. I was dying of thirst, and I hoped that it would calm me down.

Mikey caught up to me and put his hands on my shoulders. "Hey, it's gonna be alright, okay? He won't hurt you, I promise. We'll get him, he won't get away with this." I said nothing in response, I only wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in the crook of his neck. He responded by hugging me back. He stroked my hair and rested his chin on my head, but not before planting a soft kiss on my forehead. "I won't let him hurt you."

We pulled away when we heard someone clear their throat. We turned to see Forrest and Ray standing on the step below us. "Hey, Mikey," Ray said. "Forrest here said you were interested in starting a band, and you wanted me to play guitar."

He nodded. "Kris's idea, actually." he wrapped an arm around my waist. "Me on bass, Forrest on drums, you and Frank on guitar, and my brother Gerard would sing."

He nodded. "Cool. I've been looking for a band, actually. Would it be like a cover band, or our own songs?"

"Both, probably." He shrugged. "Probably covers at first, and once we get comfortable playing together, I would love to write a few songs."

He smiled and nodded his head, causing his hair to go literally everywhere. "Cool." He handed him his phone. "Can I get your number?"

I smirked. "Trying to steal my boyfriend, Toro?" I was trying to make myself laugh more than anyone else.

He rolled his eyes. "Sorry, but I don't swing that way."

"Just making a joke." I rolled my eyes back. As usual, our break went over the scheduled five minutes, and it was nearly two o clock when we were told to just pack up, as the class was going to end in five minutes. Mikey just stood with me, the two of us not saying anything, just holding hands as we watched Forrest and Ray talk about the band. I didn't know it yet, but if I had the chance to go back in time to any moment, it would be this one.


	23. Chapter 23

_Stand up fucking tall_

_Don't let them see your back_

_And take my fucking hand_

_And never be afraid again_

_Just because my hand's around your throat!_

"The fuck was that shit?" Cassey yelled.

We were sitting on top of each other on the only bean bag chair Forrest seemed to have in his house. We were watching the band, who practiced in Forrest's basement because he didn't want to have to move his drum set to someone else's house.

I shoved her off of me. "Don't be rude. That was amazing."

Gerard smiled. "Thanks, Kris. I'm glad at least  _someone_ appreciates my music."

Mikey butted in. "Hey, I like your music!"

 "That's because you're in my fucking band, you idiot." He scoffed and turned to me. "So you really like it?"

"Yeah, your music is great! I just have one question."

"I swear to God if you say what are those-"

I cut him off by laughing. "No, I'm tempted to, but that's not my question."

He put his hand over his heart in relief. "Oh thank God. Go ahead."

"Why are all your songs about suicidal vampires? Like how am I supposed to convince my parents you're not satanic when you pull shit like this?"

He shrugged. "I had these ideas and I put them into songs. Really emo songs. I just got so emo I fell apart."

I was going to say something but Frank came up behind Gerard and hugged him. "What are we talking about babe?"

I squealed and the two of them gave me a look. "Sorry. You guys are just, like, my OTP."

"Your OT what?" Frank asked.

"OTP. One true pairing. Like your favorite couple that gives you life and feels and like agh it  _hurts_."

I felt a pair of arms slip around my waist. "And why are  _we_  not your OTP?" Mikey asked and gently leaned around me and kissed my cheek.

I turned around. "Besides us, of course." He smiled and quickly kissed me and Frank and Gerard complained behind us.

"Ew, PDA!" 

I scoffed. "Yeah, because the two of you  _never_ even  _touch_  each other in public." I rolled my eyes.

Gerard blushed. "Shut up."

Ray came between us. "Hey guys, do you know where Forrest went? I wanted to ask him about something but he disappeared."

Cassey butted into our conversation. "I think he went inside to grab some food or something. I'll go in and check on him, you can come if you want Ray."

Ray shook his head. "Nah, I'll stay here." He obviously didn't want to be either a third wheel or a cock block.

Once she left, I quickly turned to Mikey. "We need to set them up on a date. Now."

He raised an eyebrow. "How are we going to do that? They won't admit to each other that they can't live without the other."

I smirked. "Okay, so you're going to invite Forrest to that really scary movie that's showing at 5 today. I'll invite Cassey to the same movie at the same time. Except we're not going to show up. Well, we will, but we'll be hiding from them and watching them. They'll eventually just watch the movie together, and it'll be all scary and Cassey is scared of everything and she'll jump into Forrest's arms and they're gonna kiss and have kids and get married and they're going to live happily ever after."

Frank laughed. "Wow, you really thought about that, didn't you?"

I shrugged. "Just a bit."

"I'm in," Mikey said just as Forrest and Cassey returned with bags of chips. 

The guys all got back into their places an continued to practice. Cassey and I started gossiping about which celebrities had the cutest butt before I finally asked her the big question.

"Hey, you want to go to the movies today?" I asked, popping a chip in my mouth.

She shrugged. "Sure, I've got nothing better to do. Which one?"

I pretended like I was thinking about what movie to see, but really I was picturing how cute Cassey and Forrest's babies would be. "How about that scary one that's showing at five?"

"Oh hell no!" She yelled, and Forrest shot us a glance. "That looks scary as  _shit-_ "

"C'mon, please?" I begged. "I really really really want to see it but Mikey won't go see it with me and I don't want to go see it alone. Please?"

She sighed. "Fine. Whatever. I've got to go now, I've got some work to catch up on. But I'll see you at five!" She gave me a hug and left the room, as I shot a smirk at Mikey. 

I sunk back into the bean bag chair and let out a sigh. I was extremely exhausted. Last night I had been having countless nightmares about Darren. The longest I was able to sleep without waking up screaming was not even a half an hour. I got a total of a little over an hour of sleep last night. I was terrified to close my eyes. I was afraid that if I closed them, then his image would continuously be pressed into the back of my eyes. His smirk would haunt me and his fucking British accent would daunt me.

I could remember the last text he sent to me vividly.

 _"I thought we were done. I would leave you alone, you would leave me alone. But no, you sent your mother. You will pay. You'll regret that you ever lived on this Earth. You can't get rid of me, darling. I'm everywhere and anywhere. That random face in the crowd? That's me. That chatter from the other side of the room you can't make out? That's me. You will never see the last of me. You will spend every waking minute of your life wondering where I am and what I am planning. It'll leave you on edge, and when it finally does happen, I hope it makes you want to kill yourself. Revenge is a dish best served cold, my dear._  "

He was all I could think about. Whenever I heard footsteps behind me, I feared it was him. Whenever my phone buzzed in my pocket, I was paranoid that he was the one texting me. He was right. This was all just a game, and I was letting him win.

My phone buzzed in my pocket.  _Speak of the mother fucking devil._

 ** _From: 607-555-2342_**  

_You seem tired today. Was it because you couldn't sleep last night?_

My eyes widened.  _How the hell did he know that?_ I wasn't even thinking about what I was doing until I had already sent my reply.

**_To: 607-555-2342_ **

_How did you know that?_

**_From: 607-555-2342_ **

_I like to watch you sleep :) I told you, you would never get rid of me._

I heard the band cut off and someone rushed over to me and grabbed my shoulders. "Kris, Kris, what's wrong? Please talk to me. Kris,  _please_."

_"Kris! You think this is a joke?" He screamed. "You think that you can fake cry, and act like a pathetic bitch? You think this will get you out of this?" He laughed. "No. Just remember, this is all your fault. You were the one who said no. You were the one who provoked me. You were the one who started this. All of this is your fault. You've been asking for it."  
_

I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and I screamed, not knowing where I was. I was coming to the point where I couldn't make out what was real and what was fake. I couldn't even register that it was my boyfriend's arms around me, not my former abuser and stalker's. I was afraid that every hand that ever came into contact with me was his. I was afraid that I was never going to escape him. I was afraid that he would get me. And I would never be myself again. He took the Kris I knew away from me. The snappy, sarcastic Kris was starting to show herself less and less. And it was all my fault. 

_"Shut up!" He yelled, grabbing me by the shoulders and throwing me into the wall. I whimpered in pain, as every single bruise, cut, and scar on my body was now throbbing. He began to kick me repeatedly in the ribs. "You think you can just say no? No. You fucking asked for this. You deserve every last fucking thing I do to you, and everything that I ever will do to you. You're a pathetic little slut. You should be thankful that I'm at least being this nice. I should kill you. You deserve to die."_

"Kris!" Mikey pleaded. I could sense the desperation in his voice. I tried my hardest to concentrate on his voice. Mikey was holding me, not Daren. I was safe in his arms. I was okay. "Kris." His voice immediately dropped down into a whimper as he realized I had snapped out of my state. He engulfed my entire body into a hug, and I placed my head in the crook of his neck. I had already been crying, and as soon as I heard Mikey sniffle, I began bawling.

"No, no, no. Please don't cry. Please, don't cry." He sat back and wiped away my tears with his thumbs. "Please, he doesn't deserve your tears."

"I-I-" I croaked, but my voice was failing me. "I'm scared," I whispered.

He kissed away the tears that still lingered on my cheeks. "I know, I know baby, but it's going to be okay, alright? I won't let him touch you. I won't let him hurt you."

"He already has-"

"Not anymore, okay? I promise you. I will do whatever I can to make him go away. I promise." I nodded, and he pressed a soft kiss to my lips. "Now, can you explain what happened?"

"I-I had a flashback. I-I couldn't stop it." I whispered.

He nodded. "I know, but it's over now, okay? You're okay. Was it random? Or did something- he didn't text you, did he?"

I nodded. "I-I couldn't sleep last night. I kept having nightmares and I was too scared to sleep."

He rubbed my shoulders. "You know, you can call me or text me if that happens, okay? I'll be there for you."

 _I'll be there for you. I won't let him hurt you. I won't let him touch you. It's going to be alright._ Jesus, what did I ever do to deserve Mikey? Any sane person would run away from me. I had too much baggage, and they could potentially get themselves hurt. but Mikey stayed with me through every step of the way. And I couldn't ask for anything more.

"I know. Anyways, he texted me, and I didn't think about what I was doing and I texted him back and oh my God I made everything worse and-" I continued to speed up my words as I began panicking. Mikey thankfully cut me off.

"No, you didn't make things worse, okay? You acted on impulse, it's okay. That's a normal thing to do. You didn't do anything wrong, okay?"

I nodded and buried my face in his shoulder.  _I love you,_ I wanted to say. But for some reason, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was tired, and my mouth wouldn't form any words. I was afraid, and my voice wouldn't work. I was tired of being afraid.

\--------------------------------------------

Mikey eventually took me home. I went right to sleep, in his arms. He texted Forrest to meet him at the movies, and we were currently hiding in the lobby of the movie theater. There wasn't really anywhere to hide, we ended up just ducking behind an arcade machine, at an angle where we could see most of the lobby, but we couldn't be seen unless you were behind the concession stand. Cassey was already here, and we were waiting for Forrest, despite it being past 5.

He soon jogged in through the doors and bought a ticket. He moved over to buy popcorn where he found Cassey, standing alone with two sodas and a bucket of popcorn. I felt kind of bad for abandoning her, but it was for the best. 

"Cassey?" He said, approaching her. We could barely hear his voice, but their conversation was still audible. 

She smiled and stood up a little straighter. "Oh, hey Forrest! What are you doing here?"

He looked at his watch "I was supposed to see a movie with Mikey at 5, but I think I missed him. It's 5:05. Have you seen him?"

She shook her head. "No, I was supposed to see a movie with Kris at 5, but she hasn't shown either."

He shrugged. "They ditched us, we can always ditch them. Want to see it together?"

She smiled shyly and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Uh, yeah, sure! Here, you can have her soda."

"Sweet." He smiled. "C'mon let's go."

We let a sigh of relief out when they went into the theater. We stood up and I almost began to fangirl. "Ah, so many OTPs."

He smiled at me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder as he planted a soft kiss to my temple. "Alright, let's go see this movie now and relax." We walked into the movie theater just as the previews were finishing. We sat towards to back row. We were close enough to still see Forrest and Cassey, but if they turned around, they wouldn't be able to see us unless they were looking for us. 

The first half hour of the movie was pretty boring. I mean, the movie was good, but Cassey and Forrest didn't do anything. The movie was still setting up the plot. About 45 minutes in, jump scares started happening, and progressively got closer together. Cassey would jump every time, and Forrest would look t her, smile, and chuckle. H eventually put his arm around her, about an hour and fifteen minutes into the movie, and I squealed. Mikey just sushed me.

I ended up being totally into the movie at that point. With about five minutes left in the movie, the killer had killed like seven people in a really creepy ass way I can't even begin to describe, and then he jumped out and it was like he was attacking you. It was scary as  _shit_. I screamed along with several other people in the theater and buried my face into Mikey chest. he let out a small laugh and stroked my hair.

"You're missing the best part." He whispered.

I looked up, but nothing interesting was happening in the movie. The killer died or something. but my eyes made their way over to Cassey and Forrest. They weren't just kissing, or making out, they were  _making out._ It was if they hadn't eaten in three days and they used each other's faces as a meal. It was so disgustingly beautiful.

"Oh my God oh my God oh my God, our plan worked oh my God, they're, oh my GOD!" I yelled right as the credits started, so it was dead silent. Several people turned to look at us, including Forrest and Cassey. We immediately ducked.

"Did they see us?" Mikey asked.

I giggled. "I don't think so." I high fived him. "Mission accomplished."

\--------------------------------------------------

I was home. Alone.  _Trying_  to sleep.  _Trying_  to stop being afraid.  _Trying._

**_From: 607-555-2342_ **

_Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

_Your curtains are open_

_I can see you_

I jumped out of bed. I turned off every light. Closed every curtain, blind and shade. Locked every window and door. I crawled into my bed and tried to stop shaking.

I couldn't think. I didn't even know what to think. I called up Mikey.

"Kris?" He groaned. "It's 2 am. Are you okay? What hap-"

"I can't do this anymore."

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

_"Kris?" He groaned. "It's 2 am. Are you okay? What hap-"_

_"I can't do this anymore."_

I heard rustling on the other end of the phone like he was getting out of bed. I heard a door quickly close behind him. "What- what do you mean? Are you alright? Kris, what's wrong?"

"I- I can't-" I began to try to explain your thoughts, but how do you explain something when it doesn't even make sense to you?

"Shh, don't cry." I hadn't stopped shaking since I received that text."Just take deep breaths, okay? Calm down, I'm coming over. Are you home?"

I nodded until I realized he couldn't see me. "Yeah, I-I'm in m-my room."

I heard a car engine start. "I'm on my way. Where do you want to meet? Treehouse? Park?"

I cleared my throat. "Anywhere but here."

"Kris, what's going on?"

"I-I don't know." That's when I snapped. I stopped shaking. I stopped crying. Instead, I started convulsing. I started sobbing. I dissolved into tears. I completely let myself break, shattering into a million pieces. I let my tears freely flow into my lap as my sobs echoed throughout the vacant home. My body shook with every breath I took. Except each breath wasn't really a breath, it was a gasp. A gasp for air, a gasp for hope. I just wanted something that I could hold on to, to bring me back to who I was five months ago. I wished none of this had ever happened. With the exception of meeting Mikey and Gerard, I would rather die than relive any of the past few months. I wanted to crawl into a hole, where I would be able to cry myself until I fell asleep, and I would never wake up. 

Mikey was practically begging me to calm down. "Babe, I'll be there in five minutes. Can you wait that long?"

I couldn't stop crying as I tried to answer. Instead of telling him my answer, the words were choked out of me. "I-I I-'ll t-try." I sobbed.

"That's all you have to do. Try. It'll be okay, alright? I'm four minutes away now. I'm close to your street. I'll be there for you."

I started to calm down as he talked to me. I never fully stopped shaking or crying. But his voice was enough to give me something to hold on to.

"I'll be there in one minute. Are your doors locked?"

"Y-yeah." I croaked.

"I'm about to pull into your driveway. I'll meet you at the front door. That means you have to get up, okay? Can you do that?"

I took a deep breath. "I-I'll try."

"I'm walking to your front door now. I won't hang up until you're here with me, okay?"

I nodded and pulled myself out of my bed. As soon as I did so, I sprinted down the three flights of stairs. I wanted to move quickly, so if Daren were here he wouldn't get me. 

"Easy there, I can almost hear you running from out here." He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

Still on the phone with him, I undid all three locks on the door, flung it open, and launched myself into his arms. Whatever bit of myself I had pulled together crumbled away, as I immediately started sobbing in his arms.

I buried my face in the crook of his shoulder, breathing in his cologne. I couldn't even remember why I had been so scared before, I just knew that I wasn't capable of pulling myself back together. He softly stroked my arm while holding me in a tight embrace.

"Kris, it's okay." He said as I nodded. "Do you have a key? I'll lock up your house before we go."

I nodded, still not removing my face from the safety of his chest, and pulled a key from my front pocket and handed it to him. He managed to close and lock the door without letting go of me. He literally swept me off my feet to carry me to his car. "C'mon, let's get out of here." 

He carried me to Gerard's car, which he somehow managed to steal, and put me in the passenger seat, kissing my forehead. He ran around to the other side and jumped into the car, before starting it and getting the hell out of here.

After a minute of silence, or rather a minute of my quiet sobs, I finally managed to stop shaking and crying, and Mikey spoke up. "What did he say?"

I sighed and pulled out my phone, re-reading the test.  _"_ _Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your curtains are open, I see you."_

He raised his eyebrows. "If that's not creepy, I don't know what is." He reached over the console and held my hand. "Well, it's okay now, right?"

Nodding, I said, "yeah, he's not watching-"

I stopped talking when my phone lit up with his number

 ** _From: 607_** ** _-555-2342_**  

_Boyfriend here to save the day?_

"He's following us." I blurted out. 

 _"What?_ " He exclaimed. I looked in the rear view mirror and couldn't see anything. However, once we got onto a road with streetlights, I could make out the black Mercedes SUV without headlights that followed out every turn. 

"R-Right  behind us." I started shaking again, and he gripped my hand tighter, making small circles on the back of it with his thumb, calming me down.

"It's okay, I'll lose him. Put your phone on airplane mode or turn it off or something, just in case he's tracking it or something. Grab my phone and do the same thing, the passcode is 0402."

I smiled to myself. "It's-"

He groaned. "Yes, my passcode is the date we started dating, okay?"

"You're so cute." I chuckled, putting both of our phones on airplane mode and turning them off. He just blushed and looking at the steering wheel. "Especially when I compliment you and you don't know what to say so you just sit there all silent and blush."

"I-, I- oh shut up." He did the exact thing I just described. "Hold on, I'm going on the highway now. I'll try to lose him, though I'm not sure there's a lot of traffic to get lost in at half-past 2 in the morning."

I nodded. We merged onto the highway, and he turned off his headlights as soon as there was a car between us and Daren. He was pushing the speed limit, not enough to get pulled over, though we could get a ticket for driving without lights, but just enough to try to lose him. As we went further south, the traffic got denser, but still not enough to lose him. Eventually, I was struggling to keep my eyes open.

"Babe, how much sleep did you get tonight?"

"Maybe an hour." I yawned. 

He raised an eyebrow. "And last night?"

"I haven't gotten more than 4 hours of sleep for the past week and a half or so."

"Go to sleep."

"But-"

"Sleep. Now. You need it."

I did what he said and rested my head against the window. I pulled my legs onto the seat into myself. I fell asleep to the sounds of the rolling tires and soft radio, and as I was drifting off, I swear I heard him whisper,  _"I love you."_

_\------------------------_

When I woke up, the time on Mikey's dashboard read 6:01 am. The sun had just risen over the horizon, and streaks of pink were present in the clouds. There was a skyline of gray buildings I thought were about to crumble that I didn't recognize.

"Where are we? Did we lose him?"

"Morning, sleeping beauty. I lost him about an hour or half hour ago. He pulled over to a rest stop, so I turned my lights back on and floored it. I haven't seen him since."

"So why are we still driving? You're not kidnapping me, are you?" I joked.

He shook his head, smirking. "We're about a half hour from Newark. I want to take you somewhere. You'll see."

There was a moment of silence. "Can, can I ask you something?" 

He paused and reluctantly responded. "Yeah, anything."

I thought back to what I thought I heard when I was falling asleep. "Before, you said," I trailed off.

He seemed to pick up on what I was saying, but not fully. It was like he wanted me to say something first, like he was scared if he felt differently than me. "What did I say?" He asked.

Maybe I did hear him wrong. Maybe he didn't say what I thought he said. I was paranoid about his entire situation, between Daren and dealing with all this at 2 am, and running and hiding and just wanting to disappear. "You know what? Never mind. it's not important. I probably heard you wrong."

He seemed disappointed. "Oh, okay then." We remained silent for the rest of the car ride. After a good 45 minutes, he pulled into the parking lot of a small park. He turned to smile at me. "Welcome to Belleville." 

I followed him out of the car and he grabbed my hand. "Wow"

I smiled. "Here, I want to show you something." He led me down a path where cherry blossom trees lined the sidewalk, with benches placed exactly halfway between every other tree. We continued down the path, allowing the pink buds to reach over our heads, and create a sea of beauty above us.

We continued on past the trees and into the woods where a canopy of trees with fresh green leaves stretched above us. We stopped on a small wooden bridge looking over a large stream. "This was my favorite place in this town."

"It's gorgeous." We sat down on the bridge, our legs dangling over the edge between the slots in the railing. "It's just, so relaxing." 

He nodded. "It was great all year round. In the summer, it's so green, in the fall the different colors of the trees are breathtaking, in the winter the snow is so white. It's not the gross slush that's on the side of the road, it stays white and pure. And in the spring there are the cherry blossoms.  This was like my safe haven in middle and high school. When things got too much, I'd just come here and forget about it. I've never seen anyone here before, and I've never shown this place to anyone, either."

I leaned my body against the side of his, not knowing what to say. After a brief moment of hesitation, I blurted, "when I was falling asleep in the car-"

He knew exactly what I was going to say, and interrupted me before I could even ask. "I love you, Kris." 

I turned my head so I was looking him in the eyes. He seemed nervous, and I smiled. "I love you too, Mikey. And I'm not just saying that to say it back, I really do love you. I really really do." 

\--------------------------------------

"Pick up, pick up, goddamit!" I sighed as my call went to voicemail for the third straight time. I couldn't keep doing this. Every time that Daren texted me, I couldn't just keep running to Mikey. Yes, I knew that he would always help me, but I had to learn to deal with my own shit. He wouldn't always be there at the snap of my fingers, and I didn't have the right to pull him into my drama at 3 am every morning.

This had happened every day this week. Ever since I ran away to Belleville with Mikey for an entire day, Daren's been harassing me non stop. 

I was just letting Daren win. He craved attention. The only thing he wanted to do was to scare me. That's it. He wouldn't actually live up to his threats. He would just constantly harass me, feeding off of my fear. I couldn't let him in under my skin. Once he got in there, it would take so much to get him out. I had to stop panicking every time I got a text from the number that made my heart race whenever it flashed on my screen. I needed to get over this. Once I stopped letting him scare me, He would stop trying to scare me. 

I had to just man up and deal with my own problems, but I didn't know what to do. 

However, I had managed to calm myself down enough to think straight, Mikey wasn't answering his phone, but it was ringing, so he could just be sleeping. It was 3 am, and Gerard and Cassey were probably asleep as well.

Forrest. He was always up at this hour. 

"Yo, Kris! What's up?" He answered.

I giggled. "Of course you'd be up at 3 am."

"Well, so are you. so you can't say much. Why are you awake?" He paused for a second, before realizing why I was up. "Oh."

"Yeah," I mumbled. "I need to stop this, I can't just let him send me into this state of paranoia every time he texts me. I need to make him stop, Forrest but I don't know how."

Taking advice from him probably wasn't the greatest idea, as his 4 am tweets usually consisted of theories that one would only think of if they were high or severely sleep deprived. "Just tell him to back off."

"I, what?"

He sighed. "Just tell him to fuck off. Remember when your dad came home that one time? He told him off and he ran away and he wasn't seen for a while. It'll probably scare him off at least temporarily until you can think of a better solution."

I thought about it for a second. "You-you're right I guess-"

"It'll also get you over your fear of him," he said. "You'll be forced to confront him. You're so used to just running away that it's making the problem worse. The only way to get over your fear is to face it. He'll also be surprised that you actually responded to him, as it's not what you usually do."

I took a deep breath. "You're right. "

"Of course I am."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, go to sleep already, okay?"

He laughed. "Sure, when pigs fly. Night, Kris."

"Night."

I stared at the phone in my hands.  _Kris, it's just one text. One text and you'll face your fear. One text and you'll tell him off. One text and he'll leave you alone, at least for now. Just. one. text._

**_To: 203-555-2342_ **

_Who the fuck do you think you are? You've been playing this game of cat and mouse for weeks now, and you're going nowhere. Why are you even continuing this? Just stop. Leave. Me. Alone. I will call the police._

I let out a sigh of relief after he didn't respond for nearly twenty minutes. I walked into the bathroom to splash water on my face to calm myself down. I grabbed the sides of the sink and stared in the mirror.  _It's okay Kris. You got this. Tell the bitch who's in charge._

I made my way back into my room and plopped down onto my perfectly made bed. I stared at the ceiling for a few moments until I saw my phone light up out of the corner of my eye. I picked it up to see who was calling me.

Daren.

Reluctantly, I accepted the call. 


	25. Chapter 25

I took a deep breath. "Hello?"

I heard a chuckle followed by a click of a tongue on the other line. "Kris, Kris Kris. What am I ever going to do with you?"

"W-why do you keep trying to scare me?"

He laughed again. "Trying? Based on the fact that you go into shock every time I contact you, I'm doing much more than trying, my dear. I'm succeeding."

"Why." It was a statement, not a question.

"Why? Do we really need to go through this again?" He snorted. "The past few months can testify as to why I'm doing this to you."

I rolled my eyes. I had enough of his shit. "Okay, listen here. I'll make a deal. I'll leave you the fuck alone, and you'll leave me alone. We both live happily ever after. Deal?"

"It doesn't work-"

"Great. Good. I'm glad that we're on the same page here."

He sighed. "No, Kris, we're not."

I was about to rip my hair out in frustration. "What do you want from me? I'm not even doing anything to you! Why are you doing this?" I pleaded.

"I need your mom to-"

"Look, I hate my mother way more than you hate her. I can do nothing to solve this problem with her. That's your own shit you have to learn to deal with."

"Well, then I guess I can't stop doing this." He sighed.

"You're not even getting anything out of this. You trying to scare me isn't going to fix the fact my mother's a cold-hearted bitch. Can you just move on?"

Now I could tell that he was frustrated. "Try having some random bitch have an affair with your father, then having your own mother just walk out on you without even saying a word! And if that's not bad enough as it is, try having that bitch then move in with you and try to take control of your entire life!"

I laughed. "That bitch has been controlling my life for 17 years. I know what it's like. I'm glad she's gone. In fact, you deserve all the shit that she gives you."

He whistled. "Yeah, that was a great way to make a "deal" with me. That comment just made me a hell of a lot angrier-"

"What are you gonna do about it?" I teased. "Cry? Whine? Throw a little temper tantrum because you're not getting what you want?"

"No-"

"You're going to text me? Send me some creepy message? Why not just give it to me right now, as I'm already on the phone with you."

"Shut the fuck up, you little bitch!' He screamed. "You've done nothing but cause me shit and [ain and torture since you came into my life! I'm just trying to get my revenge! And now it's not working! You're just as bad as your mom!"

I rolled my eyes. "Wow, that just hurt me so much." My sassy side has taken over and I was a hell of a lot more confident now that I realized he actually couldn't do anything to me.

"I should have."

I sighed. "Look, can you leave me  _alone_  already? I'd like to get some sleep tonight."

He took a deep breath and clicked his tongue. I could tell he was trying his hardest not to lose his temper even more. "I just can't do that."

"Well, if you're going to take your revenge out on someone, does it have to be me? Can it just be someone else?"

"Will do." I heard him chuckle before ending the call. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be scared or not, but I just shrugged it off before actually getting some sleep for the first time in weeks.

\---------

_***Cassey's POV*** _

I woke to the sound of my phone buzzing.

I groaned and rolled over on my side, expecting my alarm to be going off. I grabbed my glasses and my phone off the bedside table. Instead of my alarm going off, I had just received a text. At 4:28 in the morning. Who the fuck texts people this early in the morning?

**_From: 607-555-2342_ **

_I have a poem for you._

I had to blink. What the hell? It was probably someone with the wrong number, but I replied anyway.

_**To: 607-555-2342** _

_Ok, wtf? Who r u? Y r u texting me at 4:30 am?_

Their response was almost immediate.

_**From: 607-555-2342** _

_Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

_Your window is open_

_I'm climbing through_

_Your parents are asleep_

_And so are you_

_I'm in your house_

_Watching you_

I rolled my eyes. Wow, how clever. Creepy, but clever.

_**To: 607-555-2342** _

_Very cute. U should rlly consider poetry as a career. But rlly, who dis? And if ur not gonna say who u r, leave me alone._

I didn't get an immediate response as I did before. I threw my phone back onto my nightstand and pulled the covers back up to my shoulders. I stared at the ceiling, trying to will myself back to sleep. I was almost always able to make myself fall back asleep immediately, but I had this weird feeling in the back of my mind that this person didn't just have the wrong number. Maybe this person was actually trying to creep me out. Rolling back over to grab my phone from the nightstand, I typed up a text.

_**To: Forrest <3** _

_Some weird ass dude is txting me creepy messages... wth?_

My phone immediately buzzed, and I thought it was from Forrest, but it was from the unknown number,

_**From: 607-555-2342** _

_What's your favorite game? Mine is watching you from the window._

I groaned in frustration. A billion questions were racing through my head, and it was impossible to think. Who was this dude, and why was he texting me? What did he want from me? Why wouldn't he tell me who he was?

A numbing pain began to spread through my head, starting and my temples. I grabbed my head in my hands, trying to push the pain away. I needed a clear head in order to process what was going on. But that wasn't the case, and I didn't even think to stop and make the conclusion about who was texting me. Instead, I sent another reply.

_**To: 607-555-2342** _

_I swear 2 fucking god, if u don't tell me who u r, I will rip off ur testicles and feed them 2 my dog._

_**From: 607-555-2342** _

_Speaking of your dog.... your dog's fur is so soft. I wonder if it'd make a nice warm pair of gloves._

I was trying to call Forrest, but he wouldn't pick up. Every time I called, his phone went straight to voicemail. My idiot of a boyfriend literally never charged his phone, so whenever someone needed to reach him, he never picked up.

Dumbass.

But at this point, I was more than creeped out.  _What kind of sick creature turned dogs into gloves?_ Clutching my phone in my hand, I ran down to the living room where my dog was always sleeping. He was still on the couch, and I let out a sigh of relief. I didn't know exactly what I was expecting, but seeing him there made me think that this creep was just some 12 year old boy trying to prank a random number.

I turned back around to go up the stairs when the house alarm went off. I ran over to the front door where the keypad for the system was. Kitchen door. Enter passcode. I threw open the hall closet and grabbed a baseball bat, before cautiously making my way to the kitchen.

The door was wide open. I thought I had locked all the doors in the house when my parents went out, but I must have missed it. I walked over, alarm still blaring, and closed and locked the door.

"If anyone is in this house, I s-swear to God I'll smash your head in," I yelled. My voice echoed back to me. I slowly walked back to the entryway to turn off the alarm, looking out for any sudden movements. I entered the passcode and the alarms shut off. I sighed. I must've not fully closed the door, and the wind could've opened it. Or, someone tried to break in, and just ran away.

I made my way back over to the stairs to go up to my room. My dog was still sleeping on the couch. 

_Some guard dog._

Before I could make it to the stairs, the house phone rang. I put my cell phone down on the table, and still clutching the bat in one hand, picked up the phone in the other.

"Hello?"

"Hello. This is Carter from ATD Security. We got an alarm notice at your house. Can you give me your name and code word?"

"Hi- uh, my name is C-Cassey Hudson and the c-code word is killjoy. I- I just found my kitchen door open, and I'm home alone."

"Alright, calm down Cassey. There's a patrol nearby, he should be there soon."

I took a deep breath. "Okay, thanks. Should I m-maybe wait outside? I can go to a friend's-"

"No." He cut me off. "If someone tried to break into your house, they probably ran away when they heard the alarm go off, but they might still be in the area. It's probably safest to stay inside."

"That makes sense" I paused. "Before you go or hang up or whatever, could you maybe stay on the line?"

He chuckled. "Sure."

"S-sorry if that sounds weird, It's just- I've just- I've been getting these weird texts all night from a number I don't know. I'm kinda paranoid right now."

"No, that's cool. I get it."

I checked up watch. It had been a few minutes since that alarm went off. "How far away did you say the patrol was?"

"Dispatch said he's about three minutes away. Five at the most. So, what have you been doing tonight? Watching TV?

"If this is your way of trying to distract me, it's not working."

He chuckled again. "Sorry, I try. Just talk to me. what do you like to watch?"

"Mystery crime stuff, I guess. Bones, Castle, NCIS. Stuff like that."

"What about Dexter? Or How To Get Away With Murder?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, that's good, I guess. Never really been into that stuff."

"Not really into the gory stuff or horror, I take it?"

"No, not really. My friend's been going through some scary stuff, so horror's not really the best to watch. I would never sleep at night, and I don't sleep enough as it is, anyways.

"Yeah, you look tired."

I paused for a second. I look tired? How could he see me if I was on the phone? Maybe I misheard him. "What?"

"I said you sound tired." I shrugged it off. "So how's your boyfriend?"

"How do you know I have one?" I snapped. This guy was starting to get as creepy as the guy texting me.

"Relax." He laughed. "I was just guessing. Making small talk. You have a pretty voice, you must be pretty too. Figured a pretty girl would have a guy tied around her finger."

"Sure, I guess." One of the windows in the living room had been left open, so I set the bat down and closed the window.

"Hey, I have a question for you."

"Shoot."

"Did you just lock me in, or out?"


	26. Chapter 26

I immediately spun around, as if he would be right there, right behind me. I grabbed the bat and tightened my grip. "If you're in here, I swear to God-"

"You're gonna what?" He poked. "Play tee ball? Have some batting practice?"

I tried to make myself sound intimidating, but my voice cracked halfway between my sentence. "Yeah, and I'm going to bash your face in."

He chuckled. "You'd have to find me first."

Suddenly, everything clicked. The weird text messages. The sarcastic jokes. The chuckle. "D-Daren."

I felt like he was right next to me when I heard his sick chuckle again. "It took you long enough to figure that out."

"How-where- what did you do to Kris?"

"Oh, she's fine. Peachy, actually. She's got quite a temper, did you know that? Very sassy."

I began opening closet doors, running up and down stairs, looking for the bastard. "You didn't answer my question."

"Right, the bitch-"

" _Don't_  you dare call my friend a bitch."

He sighed. "Don't tell me what to do. I'm the one in your house with the gun, watch your mouth around me."

I froze in my tracks. "G-gun?"

"Oh, what else did you expect? What do you think I'd have in my hands, a banana? Yeah, I'm right in the kitchen making a smoothie, want some? I'm not an idiot. Of  _course_  I have a gun! it's loaded and ready to fire, sweetheart."

"I-I'll call the p-police-"

He laughed. "Do that and I'll shoot you right where you're standing. Remember, you can't see me, but I'm watching your every move."

I yelled out in frustration. "What did I ever do to you? What did I do to deserve this? Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Why don't you ask Kris?"

The line went dead.

Almost immediately afterward, my phone started ringing in my hand, and I swore that my heart actually jumped out of my chest. The caller ID showed Forrest was calling, and I immediately picked up.

"Hey babe, did you call me?' He asked, concerned as to why I was calling him at this hour.

At this point, I was so terrified that I was holding back tears. "Y-yeah, I di-"

"Shit, are you okay?" 

"N-no" I chocked back a sob.

"Hey, hey, calm down. It's not that bad, okay? What's wrong?"

I shook my head. "I-I'm scared"

"It's okay. Why are you scared?"

"There's someone in my house. D-Daren-"

"I'm coming over. Now." The line went dead, and I felt a shiver go through my body. I sprinted upstairs to my room. I don't know if it was the safest place in my house to be right now, but it was the most comforting. I paced back and forth in my room for ages, trying to calm myself down as I waited for Forrest.  _What if he was in my room?_

I could hardly remember what was happening next. The closet door was barely open, the door slightly ajar. Something was sticking out. A piece of metal caught the moonlight and reflected it across the room. A gun.

I felt a force slam into me. Someone had thrown his body on top of me, causing the wind to be knocked out of me as I hit the ground hard. 

The shot that came seemed to happen a million of years later. It supposedly happened as soon as the person knocked into me, yet it seemed like it was an eternity later. 

I panicked. I had no idea who had fallen on top of me. The only thing that I knew was happening was that a warm, thick substance was spreading on me. Blood. But it wasn't my own.

I opened my eyes and let out a strangled scream that was more of a sob. The body that had flown into mine was not the shooter's. It was Forrest's.

"F-Forrest-"

"Cassey. I-I-" He looked down at his body as panic flooded into his face. He was shot straight in the chest, probably just barely missing his heart.

I sat up, grabbing his shoulders. "Forrest, you can do this. You can fight this. I-I-"

"I can't."

Tears were beginning to flow down my face. "D-don't say that-"

"Don't forget me, please." He reached through the darkness and cupped my face in his hand that wasn't clutching his bleeding stomach.

"Forrest, what- you're-"

"C-Cassey-"

"No!" I screamed. "No, you're going to be okay! Don't talk like that!"

I could hardly make out his face in the dark room that was only lit by the moonlight. It was a pale face filled with pain, tears silently falling from his eyes. "Look, I'm probably not going to-"

I didn't say anything. I cut him off with my sobs. I balled his shirt up in my fists and threw my face in the crook of his shoulder. "P-please d-don't l-leave me a-alone."

I've only ever seen Forrest cry once. We were both seven, and we were playing water balloon tag in his backyard with his older brother. He slipped on a balloon in the wet driveway and fell and broke his arm.

"That's the last thing I'd ever do." His breath was getting calmer, his words were getting clearer. And it wasn't a good thing. He leaned to his side so he could lie on the floor.

"Cassey Ann Hudson, I love you to the moon and back. I always will."

"I-I love you so much." I choked, but I wasn't sure if he heard it. 

His eyes shut. 

I grabbed my phone, panicking.

"911, what's your emergency?"

At that very moment, I could no longer feel his pulse. His heart was no longer beating. His heart that felt so much pain, love, and - was no longer beating. The heart that belonged to the boy who loved me, whom I loved even more than he could ever imagine, could no longer love. Could no longer feel pain. His heart had stopped beating for mine, which was now in a million pieces.

And that's when I started sobbing. 

**_*Kris's POV*_ **

I jumped out of my sleep when I heard the gunshot.

I threw on my shoes, grabbed my phone, and ran down the stairs. The shot didn't come from my house, but I could tell that it came from next door.  _No, no, no no. This is my fault. I told him to pick on someone else. Fuck._

The world was flying in front of my eyes. I didn't register anything until I was in Cassey's stairwell, following her sobs.  _This is your fault, Kris._

I opened the door and let out a scream. "What the fuck have you done?"

"I-I didn't mean t-to k-kill him-"

I threw myself at Daren, cutting off his pathetic fucking excuses by wrapping my hands around his throat. "You killed him!" I screeched. I wanted to tear him apart so badly. I wanted to shoot him a thousand times over again to get my revenge on what he had done. But nothing I could do would bring Forrest back. There was nothing I could do to change the scene in front of me. Nothing could've taken the bullet out of his heart. Nothing could've made Cassey stop crying and holding her dead boyfriend. Nothing could fix any of this. Nothing could fix us.

"Y-you killed h-him," my voice fell softer and my body grew weaker. My hands around his throat loosened as he gasped for air. My body collapsed as I fell to the ground. I couldn't look ahead of me, partially because my vision was completely blurred with tears, but I couldn't watch one of my best friends holding my other dead best friend.

I was numb to everything around me. I was underwater and oblivious to everything happening around me. People say they remember every single second of something traumatic, but that's not the case. I can barely remember the police arresting Daren or taking me and Cassey to the police for questioning. I can usually recall every time Mikey comforted me in time of need, which was extremely often at that point in time. But the only thing I can remember about him meeting me at the police station was that it didn't help. I felt absolutely nothing. 

**_*One week later*_ **

Being at the funeral was the hardest thing I've ever done.

The entire time, I was a complete wreck. Every time I had composed myself, I broke down again. Whenever I stopped crying I would hear a wail from his mother or grandmother and I would lose it all over again.

_He was so young._

A junior in high school. He didn't deserve this. He should be right beside us, in a different place across town, the mall or Cassey's house. We should be pulling an all-nighter making jokes about a stupid movie. We should be sharing milkshakes in the diner. We should be dying my hair in someone's bathroom. 

We shouldn't be at his funeral.

He should be living.

Cassey and I were holding each other the entire time as people spoke about how he was an amazing brother, son, student, and friend. The entire time we were trying to calm each other down but it wasn't working because we couldn't stop crying ourselves, and neither of us was Forrest. 

When his brother gave his last eulogy about the only time Forrest has ever cried- the fact that he's only cried once was something he'd never let us forget- all of us had just had enough. Cassey and I were bawling into each other's shoulders. As his casket was carried out of the hall, a thousand knives jabbed through my chest. My heart was being torn apart. Everything was collapsing. 

Ed Sheeran had always been Forrest's favorite singer. He wasn't big into bands like Mikey, Frank, or Gerard. He always claimed he would be gay for the "Ginger Jesus"

I kept thinking that I couldn't take anything more. I couldn't take his family's cries or the eulogies. And I definitely couldn't take it when Ed Sheeran was being played as I watched Forrest be carried out of my sight for the last time in my life. 

 _Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes_  
But it's the only thing that I know  
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes  
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive  


 _We keep this love in a photograph_  
We made these memories for ourselves  
Where our eyes are never closing  
Hearts are never broken  
And time's forever frozen still  


 _So you can keep me_  
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans  
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet  
You won't ever be alone, wait for me to come home  


 _Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul_  
And it's the only thing that I know, know  
I swear it will get easier,  
Remember that with every piece of you  
And it's the only thing we take with us when we die  


 _We keep this love in this photograph_  
We made these memories for ourselves  
Where our eyes are never closing  
Hearts were never broken  
And time's forever frozen still  


 _So you can keep me_  
Inside the pocket of your ripped jeans  
Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet  
You won't ever be alone  


 _And if you hurt me_  
That's okay baby, only words bleed  
Inside these pages you just hold me  
And I won't ever let you go  
Wait for me to come home  
Wait for me to come home  
Wait for me to come home  
Wait for me to come home  


 _You can fit me_  
Inside the necklace you got when you were sixteen  
Next to your heartbeat where I should be  
Keep it deep within your soul  


 _And if you hurt me_  
Well, that's okay baby, only words bleed  
Inside these pages you just hold me  
And I won't ever let you go  


 _When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me_  
Under the lamppost back on Sixth Street  
Hearing you whisper through the phone,  
"Wait for me to come home."

We would wait for him to come home every day. 

Every day without him was a struggle.

Every day without him was worse and worse.

Every day without him, we all became a little more broken inside.

And what a shame we all became such fragile broken things. 


	27. Epilogue

**_*11 Years Later*_ **

_The memory remains just a tiny spark._

It had been ten years since Mikey and I broke up.

Neither of us had wanted to, but we both knew that we had to. He was going off with Ray, Frank, Gerard and this other kid I had spoken to once to start a band. He was going back to New Jersey, and could easily be touring if they got where they wanted to. I was going to college in Connecticut, and even though we were going to be only two states away from each other, we couldn't deal with the distance.

The memory of high school seemed like such a small, insignificant part of my life in perspective. Out of the 28 years I've been living, 4 was nothing. Yet so much had changed in those four years. 

\---------------------

I walked in the record shop, hearing the comforting chime of a bell when the door opened. "Hey!"

"Please tell me you have my coffee." Cassey groaned behind the counter. Despite it being the afternoon, she still wasn't fully awake. I handed her the drink, and I watched as she drank it as if her life depended on it. It probably did, and she seemed more awake in a matter of seconds. 

Cassey and I both went to college together. I spent a full four years getting my music and education degree, she tried to get a business degree but dropped out after two years. I moved into her apartment just outside of the city once I  graduated, and shortly I was offered a job as a high school band director and teacher in New Jersey, and that's how the two of us ended up here. While I spent my days yelling at bratty teenagers to practice their music and show up on time, Cassey founded and has managed a record store for the past five years. 

"Got any new music?" I jumped on the counter, swinging my legs like a child. 

She rolled her eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you to get your ass off my desk?" 

I scoffed. "Calm down, there aren't any customers. And besides, this isn't a desk. It's a-"

"Jesus Christ." She moaned. "Every day I keep praying your sass has gone away from high school, but it's still there."

I laughed. "That's what happens when you work at a high school. You never really leave."

The bell on the door chimed, and she shoved me off the counter, nearly causing me to collapse onto the floor. "That was rude."

"I told you to get off."

"Whatever, just hand over your new stuff."

"Fine." Her chair slid across the floor as she got up the grab a box from behind the counter. She set it next to me, as we began rummaging through it. 

"This is all shit." I moaned as I flipped through Taylor Swift, Justin Bieber, and countless other artists I tried my best to avoid listening to throughout my entire life.

She sighed. "Yeah, I know. These damn millennials keep requesting this, and while I'd much rather be selling Queen or the Beatles or your jazz crap or whatever mainstream punk bands people listen to today, if I have this shit it sells and I get money. I stock what my customers want to buy. I do have some other stuff in the back though. Mostly it's Fall Out Boy and stuff like that, some of it's pretty good. It's on the blue rack next to the 90s stuff."

I smiled. "Thanks Cassey."

"Wait!" She called. "Definitely check out the one in the very top left. It might make a good marching band show."

I nodded my head and walked to the back of the store to the blue rack. I let my eyes wander across the covers, but nothing really jumped out at me. I looked at the one in the top left and grabbed it. If Cassey recommended it, it surely couldn't be that bad. 

 _The Black Parade._ I could definitely see why she would think it'd make a good show. I looked at the back, but I didn't recognize any of the songs. 

"That's a really good album."

I jumped, surprised at the sound of another person's voice behind me. I had forgotten that another customer walked in. I turned around, seeing a tall, skinny man with blonde hair, sunglasses, and a leather jacket."

"Uh, thanks, I haven't listened to it, my friend just recommended it to me and-" I froze when I looked back down at the record and read the artist's name.  _My Chemical Romance._  I looked back up at the stranger. He took off his glasses, and there was no doubt in my mind that it was the man I had fallen in love with so many years ago. 

"Mikey?"

He gave that small half smile that made me go weak at the knees ten years ago, and was giving me butterflies in my stomach right now. "Didn't think you'd recognize me."

"How could I not?" I laughed.

We didn't say anything to each other for what seemed like an eternity. Ten years of not seeing each other and neither of us could think of anything to say. It should have been awkward and weird, but it wasn't. Just by looking at each other, in the middle of the record store, everything that we had left behind was falling back into place. I remembered how much I missed him, and I don't know how I went so long without having him in my life. The impulsive part in me wanted to do nothing more than grab his face and kiss him right then and there. But it had been so long, so much about him could have changed. He could be seeing someone. I was scared that he had changed into someone that he wasn't in high school. But something about the way he spoke when he broke the silence made me know that he was thinking the same thing I was and was longing to do the same thing the impulsive part of me was trying to control. 

"Do you think we could grab a coffee sometime, and catch up?"

I felt a small amount of heat rush into my cheeks. I shyly smiled, looking at the floor, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "Yeah, I'd like that."

_It's just a spark, but it's enough, to keep me going._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm currently in the process of moving my works from Wattpad to AO3, so if you like the content on my profile and would like to see more, head on over there!
> 
> https://www.wattpad.com/user/MrBendezedrine


End file.
